To send a sick toddler to nursery?

[user4321]

Im on my way to work feeling awful having just dropped my 18month old off at nursery. He is unwell in the sense he has a cold and runny nose and temp, is being more clingy and is more sensitive to tantrums than his usual self. It is more likely than not that the nursery will call one of us to collect him, but my DH has a meeting first thing (after that he is free and can leave work if required). With my employer, it looks better if I’m called away than to not show up in the first place. But I’m feeling guilty and thinking I shouldn’t have left him there in the first place, is it unfair on the staff?

I think as well, what you find is that once they're about 4 or 5, they no longer get sick as often, or as badly, as they did in the years before - and that's partly because their immune systems have been toughened up by early exposure to everything. And that's actually ideal, because at 5 there's a lot more for them to miss out on, school, playdates, sports and stuff. When you're 2 there's nowhere you really need to be

A temperature would be a no from me.

It's unfair on your child and any people that come into contact with him and then with them.
You never know who has a immune compromised person at home say with terminal cancer that would be very very ill with a cold.

I disagree with most of the posters and don't think you're unreasonable. Sending a toddler in with a mild temp and cold is fine. It sounds like he's a bit grumpy, not properly poorly. Some kids always run fevers when they have a cold, like my son - if I kept him off every time I wouldn't have a job.

Also, my nursery is ok with sending them in with slight fevers as long as they're generally ok in themselves...maybe some run differently though.

This has made me a bit cross.

DD has been ill on and off since September, all we want is an ill-free week. It's so relentless.

She's back today (after a 5 day break with a cough and fever).

For little ones 38' plus is a fever. Personally, I administer Calpol and keep her back if her temperature is over 37.2 or so.

I'm just hoping your child isn't in my child's nursery group.

You should not have taken him in. A temperature is an indicator of infection and he may spread it to other children. I find it infuriating when people send poorly children into school or nursery, spreading it around with no account taken of those who may have siblings or family at home with a compromised immune system.

It's very unfair to other children. Your child maybe fine with slightly raised temp, but mine always ended up admitted in hospital for cold at nursery age.

My DD always runs a slightly higher temp with teething. Whack a cold into the mix then you have a snotty nosed toddler with a temp. I send her to nursery. She would be constantly off if I didn’t send her in.
DDs nursery are fine with it and will call us if she needs collecting (which she usually doesn’t as nursery makes her feel better and takes her mind off teething).
I’m probably a crap mum and my snowflake will grow up feeling abandoned

I didn't send mine in with a temperature but I did with just bog standard cold, cough etc. Plus teething ailments. As a pp has said, you literally wouldn't be able to hold down a job otherwise. My DD's first year at nursery, she was a bit ill at least 50% of the time. Now at age nearly 4 she rarely is so it gets better!

Crikey I think people have been harsh. Schools and nurseries are just a mass of germs this time of year.

Thanks again everyone. It really is difficult to get the balance right. We have no family or friends nearby so nursery is our only childcare option. We both took a few emergency days off work earlier this month because he was unwell with another cold and didn't do to nursery for 4 days (but then his temp was over 38, and he wasn't his usual self at all). This morning I felt was borderline, as slightly raised temp and intermittent clinginess and happiness/running around, and he was more than happy to eat and drink - but maybe I have set the bar too high, which is why I'm worried and asked the question?

We do both want to get the balance right in order to keep our employers happy too and keep our jobs, as at the end of the day we do need a roof over our heads. Unfortunately a single salary doesn't cover our mortgage and bills so SAHP isn't an option. I simply can't take a day off every time DS sneezes (which is basically constant since he started FT nursery) but I appreciate I may have made the wrong call on this occasion because of the raised temp.

I wish people could see the other side of the coin too. The one where mums (it’s always the mums) get called into the office and berated over time off while they struggle with bills and are terrified of being made homeless with young children to support.

Schools and nurseries are just a mass of germs this time of year. something that would be vastly improved if people actually kept their feverish children home when they're sick.

I think it's totally unfair on staff & the other children to knowingly send a sick child into nursery. All you do is potentially pass the same problems to goodness knows how many other parents who also likely have jobs.

By the sounds of it you could have stayed at home until your husband was in a position to relieve you. You had an alternative option but chose not to use it.

Children get colds. We don't mind that in our nursery but a temperature is unfair on your child and others.

I wish people could see the other side of the coin too. The one where mums (it’s always the mums) get called into the office and berated over time off while they struggle with bills and are terrified of being made homeless with young children to support.

This. And also to understand a) what it's like to have no support and b) the experience of working in a business where projects must be won and deadlines met otherwise salaries don't get paid and where there isn't any fat in terms of resource to cover you if you aren't there. Not everyone works in a nice, flexible, public sector environment.

God I rarely get a temperature but when I have had one I feel dreadful. The poor child

All you do is potentially pass the same problems to goodness knows how many other parents who also likely have jobs
This

streetlife, but there are other side to other side as well. I had to give up work when my ds had chronic illness. He had enough with hospital visit. Though if he picks up some minor cold, he always ended up in hospital for a week. Do you think those who has some health issues should stay home and never mix up with other children?

A sick child was sent in to my DD’s preschool, from that my DD caught it & it quickly spread to the rest of our family. My Grandma is currently in hospital with Puenomia all caused by one sick child being sent to school instead of his parents keeping him off

Our old nursery would have sent them home immediately with any sort of temp and banned giving calpol in the morning...

New nursery had consent form for at what raised temperature they could/would give calpol/calprofen... I was a bit surely they'd just phone. I'm wondering if dd will get ill more often at this one?

Irvine my post was in response to people who had already posted similar stories to you and called OP selfish as though the threat of homelessness was some sort of trivial matter.

She should not have sent him in on balance, but the lack of empathy and understanding on here is saddening.

dances our nursery allows calpol if its controlling a temp - ds hasnt been properly ill since being there. Hes had a temp twice, nothing ever came of it thankfully.

You could be passing your work related issues onto several of the other kid's parents,when their kids catch what yours has! God knows how many of the other parents will find themselves in your shoes tomorrow.
Incredibly selfish.

Coughs & colds, no issue. Even staff rock up to work with those. The fever is a massive no go for me, & anything at 38 or above is a fever. That's indicative of something else brewing.

And i was a single, working mum with absolutely no help for two years, requiring probably more than my fair share of days off thanks to people who felt it okay to send their fevery kids to nursery. Nope, employers don't like it. Nope, it isn't great being reemed over the coals for having to keep your kid off. But perhaps it would happen a bit less if more parents took a step back & thought about it before sending their sick kids in