To not want dh to go to on midnight mass this year?

[Jellybellyqueen]

Dh goes to a church group once a week, church on sunday, and on special celebrations. He pretty much always goes to midnight mass on xmas eve, and also wants to go on xmas day, which we are spending at my parents this year. None of the (primary aged) dc are interested in going, nor am i, as he's the only religious one in the house. We've been as a family before, dc bored and me trying to keep them quiet, so im not doing it again.
Im also sick of staying in on my own wrapping presents on xmas eve. AIBU to ask him to give it a miss this once?

*goady , obv

I'm giving my honest opinion. Which is what AIBU is for.

And now you're personally attacking me (and my religion, and your husband's).
I've answered your AIBU. I won't be stooping to nastiness though.

ferntwist - I am not being aggressive towards you at all. Yet you have made a passive aggressive comment to the OP.

You think that not respecting your religion is an aggressive act?

I'll pray for her to soften her heart

Implicit here_

!. That you know better than her- ie you know she is not a christian, poor lost soul, doesn't know any better, but despite that you will caretake her as best you can.

1. That you think the OP has a "hard" heart that needs softened. I am sure she is a wonderful person and a caring mother, and not in need of having her heart " softened".

You may also think about why you felt the need to post a comment about praying for the OP. Perhaps you need to think about humility.

If indeed your intentions are pure and you want to pray, then why not just go and do it silently, without announcing?

Unless of course you actually wanted to make a dig at the OP, rile her a bit, while getting in the comment about the " soft heart".
Gives you the moral high ground and a chance to judge.

As I say, all very passive aggressive of you ferntwist- and not befitting of your christian ethos.

And now you're personally attacking me (and my religion, and your husband's).
I've answered your AIBU. I won't be stooping to nastiness though.

Why, ferny my dear, I'm just pointing out the fact that your comment is very obviously not based on all the facts, and when I nicely pointed this out to you, you were deliberately goady or still did not care to accurately address the actual facts of the situation.
As to attacking your religion, not so, my love. I have used no hateful or offensive words, neither have I denied anything you have said about your religion. It's what I believe. And if it's one thing I've taken away from this thread, it's that everyone's personal beliefs about religion should be respected. That includes mine. Do you not agree? Peace.

Thanks for your rational input speakout

Faith should be respected

Why?

ISIS firmly believe they're following a faith. Should we respect their atrocious actions because after all, faith should be respected?

it's religious observance on a religious holiday

It didn't start off as a religious holiday. The original name for Christmas was Yuletide. But you know, it'd be a bit uncouth for the church to actually use a Pagan festival so they changed the name.

I'll pray for her to soften her heart

Oh dear.

And now we're comparing wanting to go to the midnight service to ISIS.

Oh dear.

It's 11pm for an hour

The service might be just an hour but unless the ops dd has his own personal teleportation device and can click his fingers and he is ready and dressed and showered to walk out of the door it will end up at being nearer 3 hours he is absent.

All those who do go to church /synagogue /mosque as a solo activity do your partners get the equal time to do as they please?

Also why when most of you are probably working all week and weekends are so short why do you choose to spend a proportion of it every week away from your family.

It's quite common speakout.

I got told by a Minister that they'd pray for me once. You want to know why?
Because they blatantly told half of their congregation that if a kid had cancer it was their parents fault. (google generational curses). Unfortunately for them I was one of those awkward ones who knew their Bible inside out and all I did was simply point out the scriptures which proved this was a load of hokum. Fair enough I probably shouldn't have declared it was Bollocks in a church first but it was.

Because of this, this apparently made me a tool of Satan and I needed praying for, how dare I question a ministers words because they'd been to Bible college and I had not.

It's narcissistic behaviour and will always be someone else's fault not their own.

And now we're comparing wanting to go to the midnight service to ISIS.

Not what I said ferntwist but don't let facts get in the way of peoples right to criticise a religion.

Also ferntwist if you'd bothered to read through the thread you'd see that I actually told OP to let DH go to MM & the Christmas day service.

But I suppose that's what you get when you rush into judgement so quickly.

And now we're comparing wanting to go to the midnight service to ISIS.
Well, at least it's not just my writing you are finding difficult to understand. You said faith should be respected. ISIS follow a faith. Therefore you v strongly imply we should respect what their faith asks of them. (Hope you don't mind me paraphrasing your words jon). No-one said MM and killing non believers was comparable. Although now I think about it, Christianity has been directly responsible for a large number of non believer deaths... Are you trying to start an argument about this ferny? (before you accuse me, I'm not)

fern
I think we just have to accept that this is how thethread has gone:

OP - AIBU to want to stop my husband going to midnight mass because I want a family Christmas Eve and to wrap presents at 11pm at night. Hi going to a service linked to Christmas means I'll only be in charge of 23 hours of Christmas Eve and that is so unfair

Mumsnet (go faith and none) - yes YABU. Wrap presents another time and you still have all the rest of Christmas Eve

OP - no I'm not. You don't get it.

Mumsnet - you are. But if there are other issues of him not pulling his weight then get through Christmas and deal with the real issues. Him going to midnight mass is a non issues and the presents issues can be solved

OP - but I'm not being unreasonable. Why should I have to wrap presents at any other point in the month because he wants to go to a religious service on a religious holiday?

Mumsnet - because it's Christmas. The clue is in the name. If the issue is presents then it's easily solved. If there are wider relationship issues then solve them.

OP - you don't understand I'm just don't like the fact that I want a SECULAR family Christmas Eve

Mumsnet posters who dislike religion- oh right OP. You are SO NOT BEING UNREASONABLE. let me join in why I hate religion too. Let's mock people who have faith. Really he is totally just getting out of family time

OP - Thank you for the supportive responses fellow people who don't like religion. Now i can be so happy that other people have finally agreed with me.

JellybeanQueen no not at all. At least you understood.

Whatever you do don't mention how dandy the walls of Jericho went.

maisy not unsurprisingly, you have ignored the many posts I made about realizing I was bu to ask, therefore not going to, and wrapping presents at another time.
Why let the facts get in the way of a good bitch about someone though, eh?

Mumsnet posters who dislike religion- oh right OP. You are SO NOT BEING UNREASONABLE. let me join in why I hate religion too. Let's mock people who have faith. Really he is totally just getting out of family time

That's a bit of a generalisation. I don't dislike religion. I also said she is NB to feel how she does but she is BU to want to stop him. Her feelings are just as valid as his.

I have not RTFT but I wrap all the presents on Christmas Eve while DH goes to the pub with his dad. Call me a mug but I actually like the time to myself with a nice bit of Christmas telly and cup of tea getting all festive. If I wanted to change this I could be a bit more organised and wrap in the evenings in the run up to Christmas which DH would join in with.

To make a practising Christian miss midnight mass is VU for any reason and I say this as an atheist.

My goodness. I do feel I am being made a bit of a scapegoat for the discussion of religious tolerance though. I knew I'd learnt that term as a child, in my former incarnation as a Christian. The old Testament, no less.

That's not directed at you tulippa btw. Thread has moved on somewhat.

Maisypops your summary of the thread is spot on.
The OP is going to continue roasting any of us who don't just tell her we agree. I get so bored of AIBUs like that.
I still hope he can go and you soften your heart, as in walk in his shoes, be kind. Let him do something harmless he wants to on a day that is special for him and millions of others. For a whole hour, or maybe even two if it's half an hour to get there (I doubt it's an hour each way PP).
Hugs to all

your summary of the thread is spot on.

No it isn't. I told the OP she should let DH go but apparently I'm a religion hater so I couldn't possibly have said that could I?

YABVU. Christmas is actually a Christian festival in case you thought it was a shopping festival. It's not about presents. I'm not a Christian but I totally respect your dh for having a strong faith.

Further proof you're just being goady, as I have stated a number of times I agreed Iwbu. How is that disagreeing with you? Or is it the fact that I don't agree that your religion takes precedence over all others which you are protesting?
I notice you have not admitted your incorrect previous comments either ferny. Too difficult to admit you're wrong?

I still hope he can go and you soften your heart, as in walk in his shoes, be kind

ferntwist

Oh dear you really haven't read the thread have you?

The OP has already accepted she's being unreasonable and is letting him go.

Also. Don't pray for people who haven't asked for it. It's rather sanctimonious to do so.