How to deal with SiL’s dogs this Xmas

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

DH’s family have had a really tough year, and made a big deal of wanting us all to be together as a family this year. DH and I are very happy to go along with this, and have agreed to all the plans that have been put to us.

The only issue is that his DS is hosting the Christmas meal at her house, and she had two huge (and incredibly boisterous) dogs. Our 3yo DS isn’t afraid of them but he also isn’t keen, and often flinches if they come near him.

DSiL adores her dogs and treats them like human children (to the point where they have a place laid at the table for them on Xmas day), this is, of course, her business BUT it does mean that they are never shut away or disciplined - even when they knock over my DS and make him cry.

AIBU to ask v politely that they be sequestered if they upset DS on Xmas day? I have a feeling I am. We’re going to have to suck it up, aren’t we?

Speaking as an owner of a big excitable dog I would word it in a way that you are worried that her dogs may accidentally hurt your DS which could cause problems for the dogs (I hope that makes sense - I have a feeling it doesn't!!) and you want to prevent any upset. Maybe take a gift for the dogs? xx

The concept of a 'joke' isn't an easy one for you, is it whattodo?

(:-)

Is this the SIL who refused to come to a birthday party because the dogs weren’t invited?

There is no way I would set places for my dogs at a table. They wouldn’t sit there anyway as they prefer to be under the table snaffling anything that gets dropped.

However, I wouldn’t put them in a kennel or another room for any guest. They are part of my family and they stay with me and my family. If guests don’t want to share space with a dog, don’t come to my house.

I wouldn't allow the dogs into my house if they behaved like that around my child. I say that as a dog owner!

YABU not to protect your poor child. Get a grip. Ban the things ASAP.

Me and my hubby have 2 golden retrievers and yes this is their home..they are very well behaved....however if we had people over and anyone was nervous of dogs I wouldn't hesitate in putting our dogs out of their way. Although I must say I prefer my dogs company to anyone else apart from hubby so I don't encourage people to come here I would rather go and visit them as it is do much easier all round.

I wouldn't allow the dogs into my house if they behaved like that around my child. I say that as a dog owner

That’s fine. Your house, your prerogative. However, if you were going to someone else’s house then it is really rude to demand that they put a member of their family outside, in a crate or in another room. I’ll happily keep my dogs away from a child, but I’m not banishing them.

The concept of a 'joke' isn't an easy one for you, is it whattodo?

Considering the attitudes in this thread, it's hard to tell what's real and what's a joke. I wouldn't be surprised if that what's genuinely what the poster believed, they just didn't want to seem crazy so attempted a smiley face.

Chrys2017 Just so you know, (:-) isn't a smiley face. Try again; perhaps using an emoji.

We have a (tentative) plan. We’re going to stay at MiL’s on Xmas Eve and then we’re just going to take DS over for lunch and tea and take him back to MiL’s house for bedtime on Xmas Day.

splendidisolation are you the SIL? Do you really think it is acceptable to have the dogs dressed up at the dinner table? Seriously? Give your head a wobble

“All the sneering at people who 'think their pets are people' makes me a bit sad, though”

But they aren’t people LisaSimpson. Before DD was born we had two cats that I absolutely adored. If we anyone came to our house who disliked cats I shut them out of the way. It isn’t difficult. People always come before animals in situations like this.

And what would happen if the dogs accidentally ate some chocolate that had been left lying around by a child?

“I’m very distrustful of people who treat others with such contempt"

So am I CherryChasingDotMuncher

“I am also firmly of the belief - and this really is a basic etiquette point - that when one is invited to another's, and is having the generosity of being hosted, one treats one's host's home with respect”

And I am firmly of the belief that you treat your guests with respect and consideration FlowerPot1234

“I wouldn't shut my pets out/in a room for visitors tbh”

I would and have done, but I am a considerate host.

LoniceraJaponica

👏

Chocolate I can't see what your emoji is. Is it good or bad?

It was supposed to be clapping handsome

Bloody phone!!! Clapping hands

Oh, thank you kindly

Does the daft mare realise that, in addition to the horror of your son being mauled, said dog(s) would then have to be destroyed?

Really, I often prefer animals to people these days, middle-aged misanthrope that I am. However, this is a no brainer; they talk the dogs for a lovely long walk and then shut them away from your son.

I'd stay home tbh.

I would stay home, even if it means upsetting MIL by not visiting at all.

Just the idea of dogs sitting and eating at the table is one of the most disgusting and revolting things I've ever read on here. I would never in a million years agree to, or accept, something like that. SIL sounds as though she's lost touch with reality.

@lookingforthecorkscrew - if you didn't have a thread about her before, don't worry, I'm remembering another loony SIL who I think wanted to give "her boys" a nice long walk rather than go, without dogs, to her nephew's birthday party...

There are probably lots of them around.

We don't have a dog, only a cat, but no way on this earth would I be putting a bib and paper hat on her and putting her dish on the table. Just... no. She wouldn't allow it anyway but not the point

A dog is a dog, putting outfits on them, eating at the table makes them dangerous didnt that dog lady victoria say. Huge no from me. Yanbu.