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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU? -Probably - sodding school play

227 replies

amerrylittlenamechange · 22/11/2017 10:20

Yes, it’s one of those threads. I have a dd in Yr 6 - she’s one of the youngest, and it’s a difficult class in a largish primary. Lots of issues, which the school handles well - but things in her class are quite ‘locked down’ - lots of collective punishment and missing play, a bit of low-level disruption and being kicked etc, etc. It’s not the case in the rest of the school - I have another child further down - who has a genuinely lovely time in class. But this class is hard work. And dd is one of those well-behaved children who just gets overlooked in an environment like that.

The school has always been beautifully inclusive - which I really like - and very focussed on performing arts. And obviously it’s nearly Christmas, so they’ve just cast the school play. All but six children in her class have got something to do in it. There were no auditions - children just put their hand up (or shouted out, dd says) and she was at the back with her hand up every time and the teacher didn’t see her. She’s quite short, and not particularly confident. Though before anyone asks she is a good public speaker - it’s not that she can’t be loud when she needs to.

Now I’ve no problem with her not getting a part. You can’t win them all - and I’ve told her that - and she’s pinning her hopes on the Leavers ‘Production, where they will apparently be able to audition. She does drama out of school (a free afterschool club) anyway so she does get her chances. We had a chat about how good it was that lots of people who might not do drama elsewhere get a chance. She’s onboard with it all. She asked the teacher if there was any other way for her to be involved (at my instigation because she was so upset - asked about makeup, costumes, scenery, lighting etc) Told she might be able to help with the technology, but nothing has happened with that because the teacher ‘doesn’t have time to check’.

My issue is that there are a LOT of rehearsals. In other years children who haven’t got lines (which usually includes DD - though she has been a narrator once or twice) have been on stage singing and doing, you know, some kind of actions. This year, apparently they can’t be involved at all (not even with her class’s song, which is only done by children on stage), so they are just sitting on the bench doing nothing and watching everyone else during rehearsals.

There are a lot of rehearsals. The teacher now says that she and the other five might be able to ‘play with an iPad’ while everyone else is rehearsing - and yesterday he did let them bring a book. I’m not really wild about that as a solution for the six children who can’t be involved as rehearsals are three times a week for an hour as the Christmas Play fever ramps up. Though DD, is, I must admit, really pleased that she might get to play with an iPad (and I'm really not)

But AIBU to think

a) if you can involve 21 children in a class Christmas scene you can involve 27?
b) All of the children should be able to feel involved in the preparation for the show in some way?
c) Giving six of them an iPad to play with instead is not a great solution?

Suspect I’m being ‘that mother’ to be cross. But I think it could have been handled better.

OP posts:
hiddley · 22/11/2017 12:41

Clearly your experience has stayed with you flowerpot.

How is that for a point.

hiddley · 22/11/2017 12:47

You could always have 5 sheep, the front and rear of a donkey, the front and rear of a cow, 5 stars etc. etc. That's 12 parts. Then you have the 'prompter' (It's your turn next). The costume helper, the person who pulls the curtains during the play etc. etc. It's only 27 kids for goodness sake.

therealposieparker · 22/11/2017 12:47

I would make an almighty fuss...
Go through the bullying policy and make your complaint using lots of the schools language.

Dahlietta · 22/11/2017 12:49

And, Flowerpot, presumably a significant proportion of your lessons wasn't given over to rehearsing said play while you sat there messing about at the side?

PanannyPanoo · 22/11/2017 12:50

So is it a whole school show, and only 6 children out of the whole school are not doing anything class specific?
I think as a parent and a governor its important you advocate on behalf of all 6 being left out. and having nothing constructive to do whilst the others are learning.

FlowerPot1234 · 22/11/2017 12:52

hiddley
Clearly your experience has stayed with you flowerpot.
How is that for a point.

Grin Pretty pathetic as a point actually! Yes, I have a good memory. Memories are like that!

Scabbersley · 22/11/2017 12:52

I agree with other posters - I am the first to hand these kinds of OP a massive grip, but in your case I would be seething and deffo complain.

hiddley · 22/11/2017 12:52

These plays are important for confidence building. Among other things. You wouldn't exclude six from maths class as you can't be arsed teaching 27 maths, so why is it different for this? I really don't get this teacher's logic.

Scabbersley · 22/11/2017 12:53

dds old primary had 110 kids in it and they were ALL in the play. Lots of them didn't have lines but everyone had a costume and a bit to do, even if it was just shuffling on and off. Loads of sheep, loads of stars, a big choir etc.

FlowerPot1234 · 22/11/2017 12:55

Dahlietta
And, Flowerpot, presumably a significant proportion of your lessons wasn't given over to rehearsing said play while you sat there messing about at the side?

Not sure what you're on about, I've not mentioned lessons, rehearsing etc. What are you talking about? Do you mean did some of our lessons ever involve preparation for activities which some of us weren't involved in? Yes. Did we mess about at the side whilst this was going on? No, we were either given work to do or we created our own. What's that got to do with my post though? Confused

amerrylittlenamechange · 22/11/2017 13:04

Each class has a scene. I'm not sure how all the other classes have worked it so everyone is involved. But I know my other child's class auditioned them all- and that they are all on stage and get to be involved in rehearsals - even if they are just reacting loudly as bystanders or waving a prop around.

OP posts:
hiddley · 22/11/2017 13:05

What have you emailed the Head?

hiddley · 22/11/2017 13:12

If I were you I would email along the following lines:

Dear whoever
I've become aware that in this years upcoming Christmas play, 6 of the Year 6 students have been excluded from having any part to play.
The teacher's proposal is that these 6 get 'educational' time on an ipad during the 3 hours of rehearsals per week. My child is one of the 6 excluded.
This is unacceptable to me.
It is exclusionary and not conducive to my child's education or confidence building.
I do not demand that my child is in a leading role, but surely she could have some role to play, however menial, in order to include her in the fun part of education that drama is. Incidentally, she does drama outside of school so particularly enjoys it. I would be happy for her to have a token back-stage role at the very least. I am not willing to accept her being excluded from whole school activities for three hours per week.
Please advise how you will address this?
Regards
Blah blah

hiddley · 22/11/2017 13:15

Your dd never needs to know that you have corresponded with the head.

EduCated · 22/11/2017 13:16

As others have said, it's the fact that it's 6 out 27, and that it wasn't down to auditions, and that the rehearsals are in lesson time, and that suitable activities haven't been arranged for those not involved.

Add it all together and it's just not on.

chocatoo · 22/11/2017 13:16

You have a duty as a governor to raise the issue on behalf of the 5 other children (as well as your own child). Leaving 6 out is shameful and not inclusive. You need to raise it with the head teacher and the chair of governors. It can't be that hard to dream up a little cameo piece for them. Disgraceful. How, as a School governor, will you support the School's actions to the other 5 who have been left out?

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 22/11/2017 13:17

I think what the op has done by emailing to arrange a conversation is much better than that email hiddley. That’s just going to piss off the Head and that’s not helpful.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 22/11/2017 13:20

Bit premature to start going to chair of governors. Give the Head a chance to sort it out.

That said, I am concerned that class room management does seem to be generally poor and that’s basic stuff and the Head should be on it. Costly interventions are not a substition for basic classroom management and ensuring each and every child has a voice and quality learning opportunities.

Not saying it’s easy because of course it’s not but it matters.

Cindie943811A · 22/11/2017 13:21

Good luck and let us know the outcome

amerrylittlenamechange · 22/11/2017 13:22

Thanks all - lots to think about. Will let you know. Suspect they'll dream up something for their 'forgotten six' - just hope I don't get six months of ill will from the teacher for it.

OP posts:
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 22/11/2017 13:23

Yes kick up a stink... This is vile! ... You don't leave 6.kids out... I've worked in special needs and the most profoundly disabled kids had a role in Christmas play ... You just need creativity! And some flexibility...

Also outrageous expecting them to sit and watch... (the included kidsAngry) rehearsing??

So what if you get labelled... You're in the right.
Your daughter is presumably leaving 7.months after the play.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 22/11/2017 13:23

The teacher really isn't very good either..

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 22/11/2017 13:23

Well if you do (and that’s totally unprofessional and unacceptable) you woman and up and go and sort it.

You can do this and what’s more, you absolutely should do this.

Good luck Flowers

NoSquirrels · 22/11/2017 13:24

You're a Parent Governor - so this is definitely within your remit. Both as a parent on a personal level, and as a governor on a general level.

You have a) tried to enable your DC to take it on herself by asking for a supporting job (backstage/lighting/tech) and b) spoken to the class teacher.

Neither approach has been satisfactory, so you need to go to the Head.

Don't feel bad. Sometimes you do have to do things that are awkward but necessary.

Mia1415 · 22/11/2017 13:26

I think for the first time ever on a school play thread I am going to say that YANBU. This is awful. Please speak to the school. It is just not acceptable to exclude 6 children like this for no apparent reason.