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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU? -Probably - sodding school play

227 replies

amerrylittlenamechange · 22/11/2017 10:20

Yes, it’s one of those threads. I have a dd in Yr 6 - she’s one of the youngest, and it’s a difficult class in a largish primary. Lots of issues, which the school handles well - but things in her class are quite ‘locked down’ - lots of collective punishment and missing play, a bit of low-level disruption and being kicked etc, etc. It’s not the case in the rest of the school - I have another child further down - who has a genuinely lovely time in class. But this class is hard work. And dd is one of those well-behaved children who just gets overlooked in an environment like that.

The school has always been beautifully inclusive - which I really like - and very focussed on performing arts. And obviously it’s nearly Christmas, so they’ve just cast the school play. All but six children in her class have got something to do in it. There were no auditions - children just put their hand up (or shouted out, dd says) and she was at the back with her hand up every time and the teacher didn’t see her. She’s quite short, and not particularly confident. Though before anyone asks she is a good public speaker - it’s not that she can’t be loud when she needs to.

Now I’ve no problem with her not getting a part. You can’t win them all - and I’ve told her that - and she’s pinning her hopes on the Leavers ‘Production, where they will apparently be able to audition. She does drama out of school (a free afterschool club) anyway so she does get her chances. We had a chat about how good it was that lots of people who might not do drama elsewhere get a chance. She’s onboard with it all. She asked the teacher if there was any other way for her to be involved (at my instigation because she was so upset - asked about makeup, costumes, scenery, lighting etc) Told she might be able to help with the technology, but nothing has happened with that because the teacher ‘doesn’t have time to check’.

My issue is that there are a LOT of rehearsals. In other years children who haven’t got lines (which usually includes DD - though she has been a narrator once or twice) have been on stage singing and doing, you know, some kind of actions. This year, apparently they can’t be involved at all (not even with her class’s song, which is only done by children on stage), so they are just sitting on the bench doing nothing and watching everyone else during rehearsals.

There are a lot of rehearsals. The teacher now says that she and the other five might be able to ‘play with an iPad’ while everyone else is rehearsing - and yesterday he did let them bring a book. I’m not really wild about that as a solution for the six children who can’t be involved as rehearsals are three times a week for an hour as the Christmas Play fever ramps up. Though DD, is, I must admit, really pleased that she might get to play with an iPad (and I'm really not)

But AIBU to think

a) if you can involve 21 children in a class Christmas scene you can involve 27?
b) All of the children should be able to feel involved in the preparation for the show in some way?
c) Giving six of them an iPad to play with instead is not a great solution?

Suspect I’m being ‘that mother’ to be cross. But I think it could have been handled better.

OP posts:
celticmissey · 22/11/2017 11:10

ridiculous - they shouldn't be leaving any child out.. surely they could help behind the scenes with props,etc - you've got to mention it to the teacher concerned - the other five children are probably feeling exactly the same. Terrible example to set children. The teacher should know better....

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 22/11/2017 11:11

Is this a new teacher?

BeautifulWintersMorning · 22/11/2017 11:12

Yanbu

SparklingSnowfall · 22/11/2017 11:17

Utterly, utterly ridiculous to not involve 6 children in any way at all. You are definitely right to speak to the head as the teacher has not given a suitable solution.

amerrylittlenamechange · 22/11/2017 11:17

I also think they are using an old play that they wrote a few years back - which might explain the weird number of parts. The school used to be 1.5 form entry and is now 2 form - so maybe they just didn't think about the fact that wouldn't have enough lines for everyone in a bigger school.

I know they're super busy so I can't really blame them. In general the teacher does a good job - and DD really likes him. Though she does say he never sees her with her hand up, I guess that's a common complaint.

OP posts:
nocampinghere · 22/11/2017 11:21

That's seriously bad.
why can't they be on stage joining in with the ensemble songs at the very least.

don't complain about the ipad, that's not really the point and will distract from the main issue.

You either have a play with a few main roles and ensemble for all or a play where everyone gets a line or two.

whatkatydidnext1 · 22/11/2017 11:22

No that’s not on. Never heard of that before. All children play a role even if it’s an alien. Yes my ds was once an alien in the Christmas play. Hmm

QueenUnicorn · 22/11/2017 11:22

I wouldn't let this go. I'd actually be annoyed at the teacher for allowing it, that's not on.

Someoneasdumbasthis · 22/11/2017 11:23

sorry but no excuse for this. at the very least all the children could be involved in the singing in a chorus capacity, but I feel a few extra parts should have been written in in advance.

Totally different if its a smaller play with parts that are audiitioned for and only a few children take part in. But for the year performance, they have totally dropped a ball here!

I would be seething. And writing in. And seeing the teacher/head asap. YANBU or precious at all.

Very sad for your daughter.

listsandbudgets · 22/11/2017 11:26

YANBU - even if there are no actual parts these 6 could be helping with costumes, prompting, lights and at the very least some of them could be understudies

Its ridiculous for them to waste 3 hours a week as well - what exactly are they supposed to do?

DD didn't get a main part in her year 6 production but at least she got to be a blade of grass!!! Actually she was also involved in a lot of the singing and dancing so it wasn't bad Grin

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 22/11/2017 11:27

Though she does say he never sees her with her hand up, I guess that's a common complaint.

Only in classrooms with shit classroom management.

I find your attitude really shocking. As a governor (and my colleagues are the same) we don’t accept just ok, we expect the best and work towards that. We don’t settle or avoid making a fuss because we are completely accountable for the school’s performance.

Mummyoflittledragon · 22/11/2017 11:32

Outrageous. This must be against School policy as its inclusive. Definitely being both a parent and governor this is in your remit to get involved.

amerrylittlenamechange · 22/11/2017 11:37

Sorry to shock. I'm well aware of the stacks of intervention going on with this very difficult year group. It's working up to a point - and costing a fortune - but it will never be perfect.
Not settling, trying to be realistic. Aware of the very difficult dynamics, but still challenging over the data and practice.

OP posts:
W0rriedMum · 22/11/2017 11:38

That's bad.. All 6 kids need a part, however small, and should not be sitting on the sidelines playing with iPads!

Push this one quite hard as it's really not on.

W0rriedMum · 22/11/2017 11:39

For your sake, I hope this class are dispersed to many secondary schools so no single school has the pleasure of the difficult dynamic. In fairness to the teacher, it must be exhausting to deal with it.

hermoninny · 22/11/2017 11:44

I'm a governor and if i heard about this at my school I'd be livid. If the class had just 12 kids I could understand, but you absolutely cannot leave out just 6 of 27 children. It's cruel and completely unecessary. Further, the teacher is not teaching the left out 6 anything during these rehearsals which I would also be pretty angry about.

You absolutely have to say something and I think it's important that you do for both of your roles - parent and governor.

number1wang · 22/11/2017 11:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pigflewpast · 22/11/2017 11:50

Yanbu to think this is wrong. It is.
Yabvu to be making so many excuses about it, and about speaking to the head.
If I had voted for you to be a governor I would be really annoyed that you weren't dealing with this. It sounds like you've spoken to he teacher but have you actually said that you feel this is wrong and they need to include ALL the children?
The Christmas play is HUGE to the children, especially as you say because it takes over most of this half term, between SATs practice tests.
You really need to find your backbone and speak out strongly, not apologetically.

crazycatgal · 22/11/2017 11:53

The fact that all of the children are involved apart from 6 is ridiculous. Those children need to be involved in some way.

kootoo123 · 22/11/2017 11:53

I feel so sad for the poor kids left out. Its horrible. Have you spoken to the other mums? You need to take this to the school stuff like this stays with kids.

amerrylittlenamechange · 22/11/2017 11:54

Point taken .

I will be tougher.

OP posts:
noenergy · 22/11/2017 11:57

I normally annoyed that my DD only gets a small part but this is ridiculous, u can’t leave out 6 kids. All kids should be involved.
All the girls in my DD class gets a part and at least a line.

CurlyPJ · 22/11/2017 11:57

For heavens sake it is easy enough to split some roles and therefore their lines.

You make the Potato into Potato One and "Potato Two, Urchin into Urchin One/Urchin Two, Shepherd into Shepherd One/Two. etc etc Primary schools have been doing this forever. Yes 2 Potatoes have less to say - but everyone gets to say something.

Or you have a mid-way scene where the 6 leftover children get to dance, or do a jokey skit.

Or come on with a board saying "Act One" and the say loudly "Act One, Where Cinderella Meets her Fella".

What a balls up. Yes say something.

iseenodust · 22/11/2017 11:58

Small parts can always be created in school plays. Three of us were 'smoke' (just swirling coloured net curtain) for the genie many years ago.

W0rriedMum · 22/11/2017 12:03

Three of us were 'smoke' (just swirling coloured net curtain) for the genie many years ago.
This wins hands down Grin