Found a condom in boyfriends jeans pocket

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I've just been through the laundry basket to put a load of washing on and found an unopened condom in the pocket of my boyfriends jeans.

We don't use condoms.

Aibu to think there could be a perfectly innocent reason for it being there??

I think it's actually quite odd to not have some privacy on things like phones and online accounts for whatever. It's the modern equivalent of reading someone's private letters. I often have a bit of a moan to girlfriends about whatever- including DH!- and although it's not sinister, I still feel that is my right to have some privacy and not something I'd want anyone to pry into. It's the same as eavesdropping on a conversation.

It actually surprises me that so many women (it seems) expect access to their partner's phone or online activities.

*Dh and I must be the only people on the planet who don't use passcodes on our phones. Is there some security reason why we should?&

Yes because if you lose your phone and someone finds it they can find out everything about you, by hacking into the data, including financial stuff if you have ever emailed it via email linked to your smart phone. High security risk. How can you not know this?

Hugh the one above was for you!

Just a different thought but recently I went to get my coil removed and visited a family planning clinic. They gave me a paper bag full of condoms for free. I was cleaning up my room quickly one day and one accidentally ended up in my gym back. I carried it in there for months before I eventually remembered to remove it. I’m married and told my hubby and we laughed about how it looked. I agree though that Jeans pocket is a bit more suspicious 😒

I know my OH email password and I can get into his phone. He is oblivious to my various passwords and passcodes.
This is because he has no idea how to work technology and has never sent an email before, he only knows how to reply.

Works for us.

Hope the OP is ok, I am worried as not come back and said ‘hey, all ok, perfectly innocent explanation - [insert reason] and we are all good’.

OP hope you're ok - must be hard hearing so many different opinions. Let us know you're ok x

This is because he has no idea how to work technology and has never sent an email before, he only knows how to reply

How old is he? The only people I know who can't email are my parents who are 90+.

Does he never use email for work or anything or online ordering? Bizarre.

Are you ok OP ?

Yes because if you lose your phone and someone finds it they can find out everything about you, by hacking into the data, including financial stuff if you have ever emailed it via email linked to your smart phone. High security risk. How can you not know this?

In fairness, some people only use their phones for phone calls/texts. Old fashioned, I know. Having to put a passcode in every time is bloody annoying. If I had any sensitive data to store or transmit, I certainly wouldn't use a smartphone, passcode or no passcode.

Sorry to derail, OP. Hope you resolve your situation.

In fairness, some people only use their phones for phone calls/texts. Old fashioned, I know.

Unfortunately if your phone is lost or stolen, someone can see your contacts and can send them messages apparently from you. This could be embarrassing, or worse. In addition if you don't quickly get the account cancelled they could run up a large bill.

DH and I have pass codes set on our phones, tablets and PC. They are the same code so that we can each use the other's devices when needed. But we have nothing to hide :)

Morning everyone.

Had a busy morning at work so only just read through the replies.

I'm still unsure about where I go from here. After a long talk last night, he still swears he doesn't know where the condom came from. I know people will tell me I'm being stupid, but I think I believe him.

The condoms are still in the drawer. He knows I go in the drawer to put things away/pinch his socks, so it was a terrible hiding place if that is what he was doing.

I've been thinking about it all night and I honestly cannot think of a time he could have cheated or have been planning to cheat.

We are together almost all of the time, we socialise together or go out with mutual friends if we go out alone, he's never been secretive with his phone, tablet or laptop - if he gets a message/notification on his phone and I'm closer to it, he will ask me to see who it is and I know his passcode - and i have the spare key for his car, so he wouldn't be hiding anything in there.

He's kind, loving and generous, he pays his way and does half, if not more, of the cooking, cleaning, chores etc.

I know his answer to where the condom came from sounds like bullshit, but it could be true.

I might come to regret it but I feel like he deserves the benefit of the doubt.

Good for you OP. I would also give him the benefit of the doubt here. It sounds like on the whole you have a good relationship.

You can always review the situation in future.

Another one who would give benefit of the doubt here.

You just have to trust your gut here as it’s all you have to go on really. Good luck for the future Bigapple

Thanks for getting back to us.
Hope it all goes well for you.

I agree, just keep half an eye on things. Is he being understanding about why you're upset about it?

I know you say you are always together and my ex got away with an affair for a long time because I felt the same - he didn't have time for an affair. But he very much was... If they want to get their dick wet they will find the time :(

Thank you all so much for the support.

He has been very understanding about why I am upset about it. He has said that anything he can do to put my mind at rest, he will do. But I honestly don't think there is anything he could do differently. This has been the only niggle in 6 months.

I still think he's lying.

I’m very glad for you OP, I too would be giving the benefit of the doubt here.

I think he's lying too. But maybe now he knows you're onto him he'll stop whatever he's doing/was planning to do and there won't be any further issues. Just have your wits about you and make it crystal clear to him that if you ever found out that he has lied then it will be over immediately and he'll be kicked out. You might feel a bit paranoid for a while but hopefully he can prove you wrong and give you absolutely nothing to worry about again

As long as he is understanding, I can understand why you would want to build up the trust again. Good luck, I hope there are no more niggles.

SMH at the number of people on here who may have been burned before, and are now projecting this onto the OP

Good luck to you OP

Good for you I wish you both many happy times ahead