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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Found a condom in boyfriends jeans pocket

661 replies

bigapplerecords · 22/11/2017 08:54

I've just been through the laundry basket to put a load of washing on and found an unopened condom in the pocket of my boyfriends jeans.

We don't use condoms.

Aibu to think there could be a perfectly innocent reason for it being there??

OP posts:
GinwithCucumber · 22/11/2017 18:20

Yes he'll tell you you're a jealous, paranoid crazy snoop.

Mustang27 · 22/11/2017 18:22

What??? That was his response!! Wish you had checked his phone. You may not have found a thing but if there was anything on it it will be gone now he suspects you suspect something. I’d be utterly gutted by that response.

RebootYourEngine · 22/11/2017 18:23

Unless he let one of his mates borrow his jeans he is lying.

CougheeBean · 22/11/2017 18:28

I hope you’re ok OP. You can get through this and you deserve the truth.

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 22/11/2017 18:36

Doesn’t look good op Sad. His reaction really makes me think he’s lying, if there was an innocent explanation he’d have given you it.

So sorry you’re going through this, hope you’re ok Flowers

Justbookedasummmerholiday · 22/11/2017 18:39

Just found these in my pocket Flowers
For you op.

Pack his stuff tonight.

2017SoFarSoGood · 22/11/2017 18:40

so sorry, OP this is just the worst Flowers

MollyHuaCha · 22/11/2017 18:44
Flowers
TammySwansonTwo · 22/11/2017 18:47

So a year or two ago, my husband found a crumpled up letter from a dance school in a town I've never heard of (and we had no kids) in our hall under the coat rack.

He asked me what it was and where it had come from. I was completely baffled.

My response wasn't "no idea babe, never seen it before - I'm off for a shower". I was completely flummoxed. I googled it, found out it was in Cornwall, and the only person I knew from that area was the craftsperson I order frames from. I had unpacked boxes from her in the hall. Sent her a fb message - she confirmed her daughter went there and it must have been caught up in the packing materials she used.

That is what a normal person does when you find something bizarre in their possession. I would have been even more adamant about finding the source if it were something that implied I was cheating!

The condom is one thing but his reaction is the biggest proof so far IMO. I suspect he's fed you plenty of bullshit after his thinking break shower

mehhh · 22/11/2017 18:48

Ask if he knows how the ones in his draw got there as well... i wonder if they magically appeared as well

Sorry he's such a shit Flowers

TheWhyteRoseShallRiseAgain · 22/11/2017 18:49

Oh that doesn't sound good op hope you are ok Flowers

Dozer · 22/11/2017 18:51

Time to demand he unlocks his phone for you to check.

Dozer · 22/11/2017 18:52

Before he can delete messages/appa

MyBrilliantDisguise · 22/11/2017 18:55

He will have done that three hours ago, Dozer, when the OP challenged him.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 22/11/2017 18:55

That’s shit for you OP, although I’m not sure what other answer he could have given?
Hopefully you’ll get an answer with that you can accept!

I do DPs washing. Never thought to check the pockets to see if he’s emptied them properly!

DiscoDeviant · 22/11/2017 18:57

I'm sorry OP. I think he's lying. It wouldn't just magically appear in his pocket. Or in his underwear drawer. I say this as the exW of a master of infidelity who led me a merry dance for 20 years. Gather the evidence if you must but I would just kick him out now. Before you invest any further. I moved in with my Ex after 12 weeks and I don't think he was ever faithful, looking back (I didn't know at the time) I found out he'd cheated a few weeks before our wedding but stupidly married him anyway. The next 12 years he cheated but was impossible to catch out as he was a wily fucker. Upshot was I ended up trapped with 2 kids and if you don't have proof or a confession you're a bit stuffed. I finally found the courage to leave 18 months ago. I haven't looked back.

NewMinouMinou · 22/11/2017 18:59

Oh no.
Any update? So sorry it’s turned out this way...

BarryTheKestrel · 22/11/2017 19:00

I'd have been on that phone the second he got in the shower, clearly he wouldn't have had time to delete anything.

I'm so sorry OP. He's a lying bastard. Hope you're OK.

NeganLovesLucille · 22/11/2017 19:03

He's lying. Just imagine that it was the other way round and he was accusing you. I expect that you would be finding every possible way of trying to reassure him and find and answer to the mystery. This would be because those are the actions of an innocent person who cares for their partner. He has fobbed you off and cleared off to the shower so that he can think up an excuse that might be plausible.

Farfromtheusual · 22/11/2017 19:04

My response would have been ‘and I suppose you don’t know how the others got into your underwear draw either’ 🙄

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 22/11/2017 19:08

Oh OP, please don't be the muppet, he wants you to be.
You are worth so much more.
Throw him out now ... just like if you found a rat in your house. He is a lying rat !
Please keep this real.💐🍷

GinwithCucumber · 22/11/2017 19:10

Discodeviant, has he ever admitted to you that he was a cheat during your marriage? Now that you've left him because of it? or is he telling you you broke up the marriage, as seems to be the usual line.

2017RedBlue · 22/11/2017 19:13

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns and so we've agreed to take this down.

MyLearnedFriend · 22/11/2017 19:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JoieDeFuckingVivre · 22/11/2017 19:20

OP, just offering a hand to hold and a virtual glass of gin and tonic Gin

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