'Jokey remarks... EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!

[Wanderlust1984]

I work for a company where I'm based in a few different locations. I have flexi time so as long as I do my hours, I can pretty much start and finish when I want. I use it to take my DD to school a few times a week, it's a brill perk of the job and really comes in handy. I'm currently on a project where I'm in a shared project office based with a few people who work for our main contractor on this project. They usually start very early, around 6-7am. They're on flexi time too and most of them like the early finish. Also sometimes I'll have meetings elsewhere then head to the project office afterwards.

There's one bloke who comments EVERY FUCKING DAY, regardless of what time I start. Like today, I was in at 7am (not particularly unusual) and when he seen me he dramatically stopped in his tracks, held his hand over his heart and exclaimed "sorry, it's the shock of seeing you before 10am!". Or it's 'good afternoon' if I go in after the school run or a meeting held elsewhere. If I've been working from home for a day (something that's again, in my contract and really handy if I need to just get my head down and get a report finish or the likes. If I tell hi his he sniggers and says 'Yeah, working from home' with inverted commas on the 'working'.

Now I can take a joke, but it's getting to the point I'm losing it with him. My working hours are none of his business, his company are doing work for the company I work for! My line managers trust me an know if never take the piss. I've tried saying things like 'jokes get old ya know' and ignoring him but he then calls me grumpy.

Am I being ultra sensitive or is it ok that I feel like punching him in the nose???

What willow says ++

I've come across this soooo many times..

He thinks it's his job/right to keep these little women in their place... You know as he has a cock.

He's an arsehole...

How amazing he only does this to women... Its only 'banter' if both parties find it amusing.... And not every....sodding... time.

Don't joke with him.. He then has the defence you were joining in with the bants...

Just say ' John I find your constant comments about my flexitime really tiresome... Please stop:..

If he starts defending himself...

Say.:' you either stop immediately or HR/Commissioning* will be informed...
You choose - a one word answer will be ok.'

*Whoever you think most scary for him.

I would say, "I stay & work till 9pm, when you are shirking off. So fuck off it's called flexi time,

I have a similar situation. I work condenensed hours and I'm able to work from home. I start earlier than most people. And when I get up to leave, I get the comments as well. I equally feel like saying something. In previous job I'd leave at 5 and a colleague would say 'I'd love to be able to leave at 5' always In front of bosses so they would know she was staying. In the end one day she said It, so I replied well I'm in before 9 you don't arrive till 10, so it's all relevant. She didn't comment again. SAY SOMETHING you have nothing to lose.....alternatively just tell him to shut the heck up 😁😁

"I thought only boys did that to girls they fancy at primary school" should shut him up...

I used to do flexitime and start at 0915, until my Manager's boss complained that he needed me in for 0900, which meant a much earlier train. After that, I made sure I left dead on time rather than staying later. Luckily I changed jobs and went back to 0915! But some people just don't get flexible, or virtual working either.

Ask him to stop. Say that he might well be unaware but his comments come over as aggressive and you would like him to stop..

I would do as toomuchtoold suggests and go in seriously with " You make a lot of comments about my working hours. Are you genuinely concerned that I'm cheating the company by working short hours? Because otherwise I'd like you to stop making these jokes, because I don't want other people picking up the impression that I'm lazy.

^^this. Or speak to his line manager and ask him/her to have a word.

Personally inwouldn’t say anything at all to him but i’d copy and paste what you’ve put here to your HR department and say that you abide by the terms and conditions of your contract of employment and you’d like these pointless comments to stop. Copy it to his manager. It amounts to bullying and there will be bullying policy in your staff handbook. He obviously thinks he’s incredibly witty and needs to be brought up sharp.

I’d tell you’ve had enough of his jokes, they are not appropriate. This is his first warning, there will be no second warning but there will be a trip to HR to raise a grievance.

Fucking hell Wanderlust, I feel like I've stepped back 16 years in time to when I worked flexi. Dropping off kids the second the nursery opened then racing to the shitty bus which took an hour to be met by 'good afternoon' by some wankpuffin who had been eating toast and reading the paper since 7AM. They always think they're the first to say it. Then they get to miss out on the peak times at work when it all goes nuclear. Bastards . Also SAME comments you got only in the holidays when I could get in when the office opened, 'wow, surprised to see you'. Fucktards. Make him a lovely cup of piss tea and a botulism biscuit to go with it.

OP I can see why you find this so annoying and it's blatant sexism

if the company he works for are contracted to your company, then I'm not sure what the official procedure is for complaining but tbh I'd use it

just in case it makes you laugh, in my last job, I was part time. One really senior guy saw me coming in at 10am one day and said "oh, you're such a part timer..." and then walked off. Then he stopped, turned and said "OMG you are a part timer! I forgot! I'm so sorry".

I just said "Mmmkay" as sarcastically as possible - because I wasn't going to have a go a senior but he felt pretty free to say it!

Hmm, I’d give him my best permafrost expression and say “That attitude doesn’t really work here. Are you sure this is where you want to work?” Pause long enough for him to squirm then walk on by.

Are you genuinely concerned that I'm cheating the company by working short hours?

I wouldn't say that - he hasn't said it, so you are putting words in his mouth, and possibly giving him an opening to suggest you feel guilty.
Just ask him to explain his comments - he will find that very hard, without looking an even bigger dick than he is already.

If you are working in accordance with your contract, and he is not your line manager, and it is not impacting on his work, then it is none of his business. But do make notes of his comments, as you may need them when you have to escalate this later.

So if he is in at 7 when he is leaving at 3 make a remark about him being such a johnny punchclock, just doing the bare minimum

I had a very similar situation where a guy from a consultancy working on a project was making similar remarks to PAs who due to attending meetings to take minutes, organising events, dropping off stuff for bosses at different locations, fetching lunches and all sort of other stuff were sometimes away from their desks more than at their desks. Few people mentioned it to our director rather lightheartedly and they removed him from the project as this is not the behaviour our company likes to see in their employees.
Just tell him to bugger off straight. I would. You’re the client at the end of the day.

I had a similar issue at work regarding the parking space I have in the staff car park. A male member of staff from another department would constantly and loudly make comments to me about where my car was parked and was I authorised to park there. The bigger the audience he had the more obnoxious he was. It didn't matter how rude or nice I was to him he just wouldn't shut up. I nearly lost it with him one day as I felt embarrassed and undermined but instead I went to my desk and sent him an email. In the email I told him how his behaviour towards me was unacceptable and that where I park my car is none of his business but for his information I only park where I am allowed to. If he still has an issue with me he can take it up with my manager. I gave him my managers name and phone number. I got a two lined reply apologising and he has never mentioned it again. I am the only woman in the department I work in and he never made remarks to any of the men I work with who Park next to me. Maybe an email to the person who keeps making comments to you will shut him up too. Good luck

His behaviour is unprofessional. I would not lower myself by being anything other than professional regarding my dealings with him.

I'd be tempted to say "Tell you what, as you seem to have such a problem in understanding how flexitime works, I'll ask HR to arrange some training for you."

So to be crystal clear, you are this man's customer? This isn't an HR matter, it's a complaint to his account manager. His behaviour would be wholly unacceptable even if you worked for the same organisation but for fuck's sake, you are the customer. You can do what the fuck you want, it has nothing to do with him. How dare he think he can comment on it?

Don't make a joke about it and 'I'll have to think twice about who we select as a subcontractor next time'. You actually should think twice about who you select as a subcontractor next time. If this was someone at my firm, unless I could tell for absolute certain that this was just a joke between a customer and a supplier who knew each other well, that person would be marched off site.

I want to fucking kill him. ... but there are some much more grown up suggestions on here. a small playdo effigy to stick pins in would also be fun

tribpot "So to be crystal clear, you are this man's customer? This isn't an HR matter, it's a complaint to his account manager"

this is why I'm confused. Is this the set up?

Oh my god. I’d just say
Christ just give it a rest with the time jokes!
And walk off.

We have had this in our office. I had to drop my dd at preschool every morning. That left me 25 mins to get to work so I’d inevitably be late. I told my boss when I started and she said well just do your best. Anyway I got all sorts of comments including that I should get her in a different preschool that opened before 8. Then if I was ever early I must have ‘pissed the bed’. They used to go for maccy’s breakfast and tell me I couldn’t join them as I couldn’t get out of bed in the mornings. One morning I went in bang on time and the office was nearly empty. I asked innocently where people were and one of them made a comment that as I was early for once I was thrown. I lost it and said she needed to stop otherwise she’d find herself reported to HR. My boss also told her to let it go. We had a bit of a row and she didn’t speak to me. We’re ok now but there’s been other issues with these women too like commenting if you have to leave the office for any reason.

You're not being unreasonable at all. He sounds like a proper idiot. He either doesn't realize how tired his jokes are or he really thinks he's right and wants to stick to you, either way he's an a. At this point, the best thing you can do is ignore him, or as some of the PPs have suggested give him a taste of his own medicine. Turn the jokes around on him so you can steal his thunder. He'll most likely get bored.

Nyx, I think so - the OP has said I'm currently on a project where I'm in a shared project office based with a few people who work for our main contractor on this project. and The company he works for are contracted to us!!. And then has suggested herself that one response might be Maybe I need to consider this at evaluation criteria next time we're choosing subcontractors!!

This isn't a co-worker problem. This is a customer-supplier problem. And the fact that he only 'banters' with the two women in the office is even more reason to have him turfed off the project. Is the other woman also client-side, OP? Or one of his own colleagues?