'Jokey remarks... EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!

[Wanderlust1984]

I work for a company where I'm based in a few different locations. I have flexi time so as long as I do my hours, I can pretty much start and finish when I want. I use it to take my DD to school a few times a week, it's a brill perk of the job and really comes in handy. I'm currently on a project where I'm in a shared project office based with a few people who work for our main contractor on this project. They usually start very early, around 6-7am. They're on flexi time too and most of them like the early finish. Also sometimes I'll have meetings elsewhere then head to the project office afterwards.

There's one bloke who comments EVERY FUCKING DAY, regardless of what time I start. Like today, I was in at 7am (not particularly unusual) and when he seen me he dramatically stopped in his tracks, held his hand over his heart and exclaimed "sorry, it's the shock of seeing you before 10am!". Or it's 'good afternoon' if I go in after the school run or a meeting held elsewhere. If I've been working from home for a day (something that's again, in my contract and really handy if I need to just get my head down and get a report finish or the likes. If I tell hi his he sniggers and says 'Yeah, working from home' with inverted commas on the 'working'.

Now I can take a joke, but it's getting to the point I'm losing it with him. My working hours are none of his business, his company are doing work for the company I work for! My line managers trust me an know if never take the piss. I've tried saying things like 'jokes get old ya know' and ignoring him but he then calls me grumpy.

Am I being ultra sensitive or is it ok that I feel like punching him in the nose???

Next time he says anything to you just walk over to his desk and calmly say 'what hours I work are a matter for me and my employer and are absolutely none of your business. Perhaps instead of spending so much time focussing on where I am you should be focussing on delivering the results/services my company is paying your company for'.

If he does the whole 'I was just having a laugh' thing just point out it isn't funny and then ignore anything else he says.

Definitely do go in professional. If you try and be jokey about it, he won't understand how seriously it is pissing you off and it could backfire on you. A polite request to stop at first, then if he doesn't let him know you will take it further if he doesn't stop. A third time of him commenting and you can complain and share with management that you asked him but he ignored your requests.

I would put money on him not saying this to a bloke.

This.

This doesn't just "happen to men and women" because women are disproportionately flexible workers and primary carers and this is precisely what she's being harassed about.

And this.

He does sound very annoying. I wouldn't say anything, he seems to be jealous or sonething. Certainly I wouldn't waste any time thinking about him the way he's wasting his time thinking about you. Just shrug it off with a superior air and a smile. Or join in.

I also have an alternative sign.

LOOK OUT
There is a badger behind you
You must stop talking
IMMEDIATELY
Because of the BADGER

I had a colleague like this and he used to call me a part timer because sometimes I left at 4pm (I used to come in around 7am and not take my lunch) and sometimes at 4.50pm to catch my bus (then usually in by 8.30am). I had flexi hours whereas he had to sit there from 9am until 5pm every day, and hell yes he was jealous. He was always commenting on people's hours and I used to defend myself by going "but... but I've been here since 7am" but in the end I got annoyed at him and told him to worry about his own hours and not mine. He stopped pestering me. And he got a new job later on.

He was a nice chap but definitely not happy with his job. Perhaps OP's colleague is unhappy too. Obviously this isn't OP's fault. I'd probably ask him if he has a problem and whether he'd like to discuss it further, maybe with HR. (Actually, I'd love to do the "oh look, it's the time police! Wooo-ooooo!" )

Maybe it's a pathetic attempt to flirt with you
Funny enough those were my first thoughts, and that he can't think if any other way to get talking to OP than to mention her working hours. Unoriginal, repeatitive, irritating, and boring...yes. Bullying, I'm not so sure.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks just call me Colombo 😁

Id give two shits if he is unhappy with his job. He needs to stop-now. He will definitely be the type to say "oh she can't take a joke". Every time he does this, stop, give him the look, and note it down. He says anything, just say "well I've been advised to note down any instances of potential discrimination"
I had one of these (I was working through an agency, set hours. Every bloody day I got the "oh here's the part timer" unfortunately he said it one too many times in front of our team leader.

" You make a lot of comments about my working hours. Are you genuinely concerned that I'm cheating the company by working short hours? Because otherwise I'd like you to stop making these jokes, because I don't want other people picking up the impression that I'm lazy."

and taking note of when he said it, so he knows you have evidence if you decide to take it further.

Two great bits of advice there OP

I think using humour against these "jokers" works best, tbh. And it doesn't preclude you from going down the formal route should it prove necessary.

I had this from an arsehole in one job. Most people got in between 8.30 and 9, I arrived most days just after 9. Arsehole always made a dig about it. Then, for a few days, I got in early because I had early meetings, and I realised that Arsehole didn't ever do a stroke f work before about 10.15. He did a round of social calls in the building, with a file in his hand, and stopped and had a coffee with the typists around 10.

After a few days of me asking if he was starting work now when he reappeared at 10.15, he stopped saying anything about my start times.

Lazy fucker used to go out in work time and get his hair cut, change his library books, pick up his dry cleaning etc, too.

I disagree with using humour - completely agree with the PP who said he’s not doing it to be funny, he’s doing it to make a point. Plus, if you make a joke and he keeps doing it and you do have to esculate it, it makes it easier for him to pass off as banter.

I also disagree with the poster who said it’s not a feminist issue. How many of these jokes do you think he’s making to his male colleagues?

Could u not make jokes every day about him leaving early all the time?

“Oh, that’s a great one, John, ha ha(!) I’ve got got one for you too: what do you call a bore who makes the same, tedious, unwelcome comment every day ?”
...and walk off.

I had a similar issue a while back in a similar situation. I mentioned it to my boss and asked if he would prefer me to report it to HR or say something myself. He suggested I just replied with "That's the funny thing about flexi-time, people don't notice the times you are there, they only notice the times you are not" and it is very true, they never noticed if I worked hours above my normal hours but noticed times I wasn't there even when I wasn't meant to be.

Thanks all for your comments, only just managed to get logged on after a manic day, ironically! I need to do SOMETHING, love the sign idea!! It's so hard as we generally get on ok... but he says such sexist things! Like he was talking to a lady who does the admin for us and she was talking about holidays and he thought it was funny to say "women, getting given holidays from work?! Whatever next". It drives me mad. And yes he works for the company who are OUR clients!!

I get this all the time from my female full time colleagues
I work part time and I am sick to death of all the comments I get. And the snidey remarks about my clothes, my car, the holidays I take.
It's my life. My work life balance and yet I feel I'm constantly having to justify my reasons for working part time.
When my new boss started, she actually asked me 'So, have you ever actually worked full time?'
With a head tilt.
I've started diarising all the comments now because I'm pretty sick of them TBH.
Please let us know how you get on OP, I would like to know how you dealt with it !

Not quite the same as the OP but I understand the couple of posters who have been picked up on arriving/leaving earlier than is standard because they have a part time hours contract. My response has always been to remind them that yes I work less hours than them- and I also get paid less than they do. The option is there for them to apply for as well.

I got this in one job (I was on an 0.8 contract, the colleague was full time). He was simply jealous. 0.8. I was annoyed to begin with but then I just said every time he remarked that I wasn't there in the morning/afternoon (I got one of each off per week which in itself was a pain as I had to arrange childcare for 5 days/commute 5 days) I said 'yes, remember I get 0.8 of a wage too'. The year after, he went down to 0.8!

Given the client/contractor relationship, I actually think you should take this to your line manager.

Sorry about that random extra 0.8.

Another QS like @Dizzybacon here, currently off on maternity leave but I've had this in the past.

I was never in the same place at the same time on any given day, however if totted up I probably put in more hours than I was actual contracted to do & my work was done well & to deadline.

I'd just say (preferably with an audience).... Mate your craics terrible, if you've got a problem take it up with my line manager. If not go take your face for a shit

Next time he pipes up with that just say "jesus christ mate do you ever say anything else? Same old shit every time I come in".

I’d go with this definitely.

@greenappleplatter i still get it now after 20 odd years.

I go from site to site, I guess it can appear as floating around and not doing much. They don’t see the hours I put in at home and weekends.

The subbies also tend to forget everything that goes on behind the scenes trying to ensure they get paid.

You always make friends with the QS!

I use to get this believe it or not from a woman in HR. I leave at 4 and she would ring at 5 past then say 'oh I forgot you leave at 4'. Happened too many times for it to be forgetfulness so when she said it again I just said 'you say that every time you ring at this time'. Hasn't said it since.

Go sort him out, it's annoying!

Hands on hips 'Are you stalking me?'