Ex girlfriend and new partner, please advise!

[Difficultsitch]

The relationship with my DH ex girlfriend and him is strained . They have a DD of 6. A new boyfriend has recently come on to the scene and staying over in the house with my DH DD which is fine but the ex is refusing to let DH know anything about him . Where does he stand?
Please help if you can .

We can agree to disagree
Because we are both going round in circles
Making the same points

Because of the murder of Sarah Payne. Who was killed by a stranger.

olive The reason I'm so curious as to if it's me you are calling naive is it is laughable that I may be even slightly naive about sexual offences.

Honestly if she really is that bad (and abuse is, trust me) your partner should worry far more about his child spending time with her mother as opposed to her mothers new man. That's the bigger issue. That said, I've been falsely accused by my own ex of being abusive when he wasn't getting his own way which is why I have often wonder when accusations like this are bandied about

I’ve only got to page 3 so someone may have already mentioned this.

It is perfectly possible for an abuser to be less of a direct risk to children if they remain single,

A lot of the risk to kids when domestic abuse is an issue is the emotional harm caused by witnessing it and the risk of being caught up in violence unintentionally, if the abuser was single then the risk is reduced and only increases when a relationship is entered into

Olivetappas You didn't answer. How will you get the new partners name?

And when you have a yes/no answer regarding convicted child sex offences will that be enough? Will it be 'safe' then?

And we keep going back to the very start

When I stated dad does have a right

How he will get the name is another matter
Because yes he can't get anywhere without that
But my whole point is dad does have a right to know information about new bf

And again ur grasping on and on and on

How many times can we make the same points

Why won't you answer any questions?

And no dad doesn't have a right, rightly or wrongly. We have established that.

Why did you ask about why Sarah's law is in existence if you aren't go to comment when I answered?

Iv answered question after question the same question in different manners

Rachie,

You tend not to just get a yes or no.

What tends to happen is they tell you if their is nothing noted of concern but they do not tell you if there is.

When there is what usually happens is the adult who is in control of the contact between the potential risky person and the child gets a visit from either children’s social care or the police dependant on the risk and then dependant on what happens at that meeting or contact decides what happens next.

No you haven't. I've asked you several times who was naive and you never answered.

Nicknacky

Why won't you answer any questions?

And no dad doesn't have a right, rightly or wrongly. We have established that.

Olive will never accept it because of Sarahs law dontcha know???

Despite the fact OP already said they didn't want to use Sarahs Law.... they just wanted a name and a face.

Right Sarah's law is there to protect children so if you have a concern about a child or if you are wary of an adult you can check with Sarah's law

Why is it around because many times ppl have failed to know information about an individual that if they had of known could of prevented certain tragedys

olive Can you link to a particular case that you have in mind?

NeedsAsockamnesty Tue 21-Nov-17 14:13:28

*You tend not to just get a yes or no.

What tends to happen is they tell you if their is nothing noted of concern but they do not tell you if there is.*

To be fair though, the vast majority of people are not convicted child sex offenders (however the media likes to hype it) and OP is back to square one and still can't dictate to ExP

Are u kidding me.

I find the fact she won’t tell you his name very odd. She is entitled to a private life and to keep things ‘secret’ but normally that would be prior to moving someone in to the family home. Once you start involving a man in dd life it is unreasonable to expect secrets and that kind of privacy.

olive Sorry why would I be kidding you?

@Nicknacky I haven’t followed the argument up to now so I’m not taking sides, but a Sarah’s Law check on Ian Huntley would have flagged up previous allegations as it doesn’t just cover convictions, it covers intelligence files for people suspected too.

Oh and I have a court order specifying that my ex partner is not allowed to allow contact with our child and any girlfriend/partner/wife without further order of the court or my consent which should not be unreasonably withheld.

And I am fully entitled to use duration of relationship as reasonable grounds along with refusing consent until I have received the results of the various checks that can be legally done.

Granted this is due to his refusal to react appropreatly to a previous known risk.

notreally Sorry I was aware of that but forgot to mention it.

Thankyou

Olive the problem is although yes he does have a right to make a request under Sarah's Law if he has a name there is no corresponding law which requires the mother to give a name. He has no right to demand the name. I don't blame him for wanting to know but he has no right to know.