Who is in the right?

[Rinmybell]

Firstly, this is about someone who is terminally ill, I don't know if it needed a trigger warning but thought I'd say in case people wished to stop reading here.

At uni I have a student in the same class, who has a life limiting condition. They are very poorly and at times it has been very touch and go. This is their second attempt at Uni. The first attempt, they lost a family member to the same illness and became very ill, also. So they dropped out. We will call them A.

Last week during seminar, A flagged up that another student (B) was ill. They were coughing and to their ears it sounded like a chest infection - which is very dangerous for A.
A spoke with the teacher and explained that one of them would have to go home. Teacher explained to B who was very upset and angry - and insisted they would not be going home, it would have to be A.
A is now very upset that extra provisions were not made for them - they have a lot of time off due to their preexisting condition and shouldn't have to take more time off for someone else's illness.
B, is cross also because they feel like they in themselves were well enough to attend, and they are not responsible for A's health.
A has now contracted a chest infection. Can't prove it was from B, but an email has now been sent out to all in the class that if any of us or children present with respiratory illness we are to stay at home.
This has now caused an outrage as people have complained today they've had to miss out today, as they have coughs.
There is another person in the class who's child also suffers with a life limiting illness, so they too agree that this should be the policy.
There is now quite a divide and people don't really know where they stand.
I already know what I think - but have been told IABU, so would kind of liked to know what others think.
So who is BU in your opinion?

A is being unreasonable. Very much so.

Surely uni these days is inclusive enough that people with a condition or even a germ phobia can choose to not attend and catch up online? That’s not to say I’m not sorry for people in this situation but a resp infection could be as little as a cough or cold and they can last some time...

Pretty sure someone with a mild sniffle causing them to sneeze could be more dangerous to A than someone with a bad chest infection. It depends on the underlying virus or bacteria. Which no one would know - including a doctor unless they grew a culture. Which no one is going to bother to do for a cold in a healthy adult.

The fact that A went whining to the teacher and pretty much demanded that B get sent home probably didn't go down very well with the other students, either. While it's understandable that A thinks everyone should prioritize A's needs, the other students are not in any way obliged to let their own work suffer because of someone else's troubles that they are not responsible for.

A is wonderful and I couldn't bare to make them ill, but I can't miss time off for a cold. B was being selfish, they shouldn't of been in with an infection.

9 pages with 95% of the responses disagreeing with you about B's supposed "selfishness", and you're still persisting with this.

A could actually die from B's infection. It's a fact, I've seen this first hand. In any school setting, you're going to have coughs and colds, School would be half empty over winter if everyone stayed at home, but a chest infection is different. B should've stayed away.

My DS recently had a chest infection. For a week, he had a cough and the doctor said it was just a bad cold. When it didn’t go away for a second week-the doctor said it was a chest infection and gave him antibiotics. He sounded no different in the first week when the doctor said it was a cold. Just because he was confirmed as having a chest infection ‘later’ -doesn’t mean he had it from the first day of the cough.

It may well be that A can’t continue with this course. People will not risk the thousands of pounds they have borrowed/invested for their course on this person they may never meet again after this course.

B's chest infection though likely came from a cold - DS is prone to them after he has a cold usually caught from the fact that everyone had a cold. Its why babies are more prone to bronchitis

B's chest infection would have been contagious like a cold virus - its how the host reacts. And that is A's issue - colds would lead to a chest infection. B coming in with a chest infection is no different to you cming in with a cold.

So if you cant miss time off from a cold which is as likely to lead A to having a chest infection as B coming in with a chest infection. So really you dont have the right to judge B.

The crux of it though that any cold virus could lead A to have a chest infection - the common cold is, well common and contagious and effects people differently

The difficulty for the other students is that A will receive mitigation for missed lectures, missed deadlines, extended/frequent absences for their condition.

When the university meet to agree on the degree classification to be awarded, A's condition, and the impact of this, will be considered in the event they're 'borderline'.

No one else, B nor otherwise, will have the same mitigation against absence or missed lectures or borderline grades.

It is shit for A, but we all have limitations placed upon us based on our health other capabilities. If A and the university cannot find a solution that does not impact negatively upon other students (who will all have their own adversities of one degree or another to manage), then maybe a standard/traditional univerity experience isn't appropriate for A

It is not 'reasonable adjustment' to deny others.

A is not only being unreasonable, they are being irrational. Probably because they are, understandably, very frightened of contracting infections.

I think A needs help to manage their fear so that they are better able to make rational decisions. This is not a criticism in any way - A's fear is real and rational - it is the way they are dealing with it that isn't.

Universities, schools, hospitals and other public places are germ factories, especially during cold and flu season. I'm guessing from the rather opaque hints, that the career path A wants to pursue involves a
level of working with the public and so those risks will be ever-present.

A needs to work out how to manage those risks and their fears in the real world.

Excellent point Saturdaynight

As someone who doesn't necessarily have a life limiting illness, but I have chronic asthma, if someone so much as sneezes close to me, I seem to develop a chest infection. I almost died in January, and that was after (the only way I can think of having contracted anything), going to the corner shop and some man snivelling and sneezing beside me for about 30 seconds. I tried to cover my face up with a scarf, but it seems whatever version of bubonic plague he had, I contracted. Within 2 days I was in a coma in ICU. It's the dribbling, sneezing types that bother me, rather than someone with a cough who uses a tissue or something.
It can actually be fatal for some of us to develop a 'common cold'. Mine developed into pneumonia, then ARDS, then multiple organ failure.
But hey, I have lived to tell the tale. I will actively move as far as possible from snifflers. That's about as much as I can do.

I get really angry though with people coming into work with 'colds' and coughing, spluttering and sneezing everywhere. It might be manageable for them, but I end up needing days off work as it goes straight to chest infection for me. Selfish bastards. But of course, that's just my own perspective.

I lost my last job due to developing a chest infection from everyone in the office spluttering around me and I was off work for about 6 days. I was promptly let go. Zero hours sort of contract.

I haven't worked since. That was two years ago.

The only thing that I have found that does actually help me, that I can feel actually works, is First Defence. It seems to work for me. I always have it with me for if a sniffler is about.

The First Defence thing is about £7, but it will last you a few months. If you're prone to contracting everything, it's well worth the investment.

First defence gives me migraines. I use immiflex. It was recommended by the doctor I see for ME but not at the dosage on the packet. Two am and pm. I can’t find the thing I read but it’s supposed to be more effective than the flu jab. My immunise system is compromised. I don’t get the jab because it could make me very ill.