To leave DH over ruined underwear?

[Sprinklestar]

Ok, sounds dramatic, right?
But... We have been together years, known each other forever. Today, yet again, he washed my hand wash only underwear in the machine and ruined it. I have lost count of the number of times he has done this.
It is just such a waste and will need replacing. We must have had this scenario every year for the past ten.
It's like that thing on the internet about the man whose wife left him over a cup left on the side, its the constant drip drip drip effect and never learning.
I can't stand his incompetence anymore. How hard is it to check a label? And not mess with the stuff in the separate handwash only basket?!
I am so angry.

He must be doing other disrespectful things, surely?! Limiting his thoughtless, passive aggressive or deliberately disrespectful behaviour to underwear is seriously weird. Like a strange fetish. Maybe he's trying it on himself and then trying to hide the evidence by ruining it in the wash!...

It is just underwear - not the biggest crime. If it was an item of clothing, I would be v. annoyed.

It is an item of clothing. Several items in fact. What on earth is the difference you are trying to make?

For Christ's sake. Will people just read the fucking OP properly and stop banging on about how you can buy knickers for £1 down the market and she needs to get over herself?

There was a woman on here a while ago whose DH kept ruining her lovely cashmere jumpers because he was fishing them out of a separate basket 'to be helpful' despite the fact she had repeatedly asked him not to wash her stuff. The point should be obvious if you are not a fucking moron. The OP's DH is ignoring her requests not to wash her stuff and is ruining it.

OP, the only thing I can suggest is to have your stuff in a separate basket and put a big 'do not touch' sign on top.

My plain, ordinary £15-20 bras are handwash only - most underwired bras are. They don't get handwashed, but do into a delicates wash without anything else to bend the wires out of shape. It's hardly any sort of special snowflake instruction.

If DH could figure out the washing machine without having a fit of the vapours (he did take a load to MIL's to wash when it was on the blink, once - and couldn't find the detergent dosage cap that was attached to the bottle - so much for the detailed instructions I wrote him!), he wouldn't dare touch the bag of stuff that needs gentler treatment than everything else.

Do stop commanding people how to read and respond to your satisfaction

I agree with @Lethaldrizzle 'Life is too short to handwash anything'!! (and may I add, iron anything to that list). My Dh doesn't even know how to work the washing machine. That's fine by me. I only use one cycle on it ever. I do separate colours and whites and I know bras certainly don't last as long if machine washed, but jesus this has to be a comedian looking for fodder for the next show?

Why do people keep banging on about Read the OP, is it because people aren’t agreeing with it.

Yes,because they want you to agree with their hypothesis that this is how men disempower women

This would piss me off big time, once is a mistake but to be repeatedly told NOT to wash the hand wash stuff on a normal cycle makes him a moron or just a selfish prick who doesn't give a toss! I know sometimes partners don't listen and you have to say things many times but to carry on ruining nice underwear through ignorance is a joke.
I can see that it's a bigger issue, and why should the op wear cheap tart just because her husband is a fool?

Tatt NOT tart!

I don’t have a hypothesis about how men disempower women. I do think that this thread shows that one individual (who happens to be a man) is regularly disregarding the OP (who happens to be a woman).

I despair. MN used to have lots of interesting people to talk to. Now there seem to be vast numbers of deeply thick wilfully ignorant Stepford Wives.

HQ I think we're going to have to completely get rid of AIBU. It's attracting far too many twunts.

It takes one to know one, as they say.

It's the 'I know better/wilful thoughtless' of it. It doesn't matter what the item is, it's a piss take.

(My DH washes everything on 60° and up. He's fine to ruin his own clothes, he knows better than to do it to mine as he's ruined loads through wilful ignorance. He was also 'being helpful'. It wasn't helpful, he was either cramming things in so tight the stuff in the middle would still be dry, washing it all on 90° or putting it on a three day hour cycle when there's two more loads to go and I want to go to bed etc. "Helpful" is distinctly unhelpful.)

Added on with as you say the drip, drip of other stuff, thoughtlessness, carelessness, especially for other people's belongings, it adds up to a bigger picture.

Ahh the bi annual scrap AIBU plea.thats being going on since AIBU started
Mn used to be a clever witty place,all riposte and clever hypothesis.old days
That too has been rattling about forever,the mn gorn to the dogs wail

omg now you’re a stepford wife if you think that there are bigger issues in the world than one man not handwashing one womans knickers.

seriously.

"most underwired bras are."

Most underwired bras can be washed in the washing machine. Most women wear underwired bras, do you think they all spend half an hour a week at the bathroom sink?

Stepford or Essex?

My fella can’t use a tub but he doesn’t hit me which he could of so all is good. Posh nacks? I can get mine for 5p in Romford.

I not only have a separate laundry bin from the rest of the family, I keep it in my separate bathroom. Problem solved.

Why are so many people banging on about most underwear being washable in the machine? The Ops aren't, end of!
I wash mine in the machine on a hand wash cycle, the Ops husband probably whacked them on a 40• wash with a 1000 spin cycle. Mine wouldn't withstand that, they'd be shapeless and fit for nothing.

Gwen I just said I wash my "handwash" bras on a machine delicates wash. It's a far cry from bunging them in with the filthy, heavy cottons, though.

Handwash and woollens cycles on modern machines are undoubtedly gentler than actual handwashing but a cottons wash (at any temperature) with 7kg of school uniform and jeans most definitely isn't.

Please don't touch my delicate wash items. Once is enough. He's an adult.

I couldn't count the number of times I went to the dryer and found a ruined item of my clothing which I'd put aside for a delicates wash. He was only helping me out, doing the washing for me. I left him eventually.

Sounds like you have very little respect for your husband if you’re willing to bomb of “in sickness and in health” for a ruined pair if knickers.
Have you ever thought of actually talking to him? You sound like a bit of a princess

I told my husband time and time again not to switch off the tv recorder box (as it won't record any sodding programs) he kept on doing it, so I made a sticky label and attached it to the plug saying Do not switch off, I felt like a fucking primary school teacher doing it but he got the message loud and clear!