And just to throw this out there, I experienced DV from my ex. He disguised it as me being incompetent and unable to do things properly. He was obviously believable until the day he tripped himself up and I realised actually it wasn't me who was incapable. Some things he did were:
He used to wash up, I dried and put away. He then said leave the drying up, it drys better and we can put it away in the morning. We did and put it away in the morning (whoever got up first). After I went to bed, he would dry and put it away, saying he had got up first. This then manifested into him telling people he did the washing up, the drying and the putting away while I did nothing but each time I went to do it, he would shoo me away in the living room to look after DS.
He would add washing into the piles before I put them in the machine that I wouldn't notice was there and then that would get ruined in the wash (wool jumpers in with the bedding on a 60 wash) and them it would be my fault as I'd sorted the washing. He would even hide tissues in pockets. Again, it looked like I was incompetent at washing, even though I knew I was doing it right but he loved moaning about this.
I used to do the weekly shop. He'd unpack and put away. Formula, nappies etc would be missing even though I knew I had got them. He would then throw away the receipt and say I hadn't collected it so I couldn't prove it. Again, I was scatty and couldn't remember the shopping to everyone else.
He used to take DS out in the pushchair. Have a walk to the beach and spend a good 5 hours out so I could do college work. Absolutely offered to do this, told me to make the most of it, cuppa before he left etc. He told people I'd kicked them out of the house in one of my moods and he was scared to go back.
I'm sure the OP isn't doing anything like this but it's always worth bearing in mind that the person doing the wrong thing is not the abuser, yet most here assume it's because he doesn't care about her and is purposely destroying her property through hate.