Umm, what a dick move?

[user1497545304]

This is probably the definition of a first world problem but...

SIL and I got pregnant around the same time, and she's just had her baby girl. I'm due in a couple of weeks.
Before I even found out I was having a girl, I had my heart set on the name Elle - I even posted a thread about this! Me and SIL are close and she knew very, very well about this.

After much deliberation, I helped SIL decide on the name Mia for her baby.

Went to visit her and new baby in hospital this morning, where she announced that her baby looked like such an ELLA that she just had to screw Mia and go with that. I didn't say anything but I wanted to throttle her

Umm, wtf? SIL knew very well that we were going with Elle, and now we can't! Elle and Ella are just TOO similar, let's face it.

I am extremely pissed and also upset! I trusted SIL like a best friend. She's always been very aware of people's feelings.

Just rang up my mum, and was told I was being 'bratty' and 'overreacting'.

I would never dream of doing what SIL did, though!

AIBU?

Why would you want a name that means 'She' anyway - you wouldn't call a child Enfant so it's no different really.

I think you should stick to your original name of Elle too. It sounds as if your little girl already has that name anyway, even though she's not born yet. If your SIL was bothered about it being similar she wouldn't have gone for Ella would she? Just call her Elle anyway, its a lovely name.

Call your DD Elle anyway, if your SIL doesn't like it then you can change the registered name of a baby for free once in the first year- so she won't have a problem changing her kids name if she has issues.

They knew you were going to call your baby Elle, so just do it. It’s fine

When will people learn?
Tell no-one your chosen name. She may not have done in deliberately but you planted the name in her head
Still crap that she did it but learn for next time

Elle is a horrific name anyway. Common and chavy.
Bloody Hell zippy, why don't you tell us what you think!!

YANBU it is a shitty thing to do!

I'd use Elle anyway. I told people my girls name including sil , so they should be clear that I am using it even if they do. And if they thought I'd change if they got in firstand would be upset by this then bonus points personally . My brother had a cousin with the same name. No big deal at all.

Most definitely name your DD Elle. It’s a lovely name and reminds me of Eleven from the Stranger Things.

It was indeed a dick move.

But there's nothing you can do about it, really. you can use Elle, as planned, or you have to find another name.

If you do use Elle, your friends and family know you've always planned to use that name.

Are there no Stranger Things fans on this thread?

Yes it's total dick move but seems to happen often. I kept my baby names to myself because a similar thing happened to my DM. She was pregnant at the same time as a family member and had chosen (for example) Steven James Surname or Peter James Surname.

My DM was due first but family member went into labour a few weeks early. She took both first names and called her ds Steven Peter Surname.

As for you, Anabelle?

Why not name her one of these, but call her Elle anyway? Then if she is/you are bothered with it in the future, you just go with the full name. These are longer versions for Elle:
Noelle
Brielle
Danielle
Estelle (THIS IS GORGEOUS)
Gabrielle
Elliana
Ellery

Tbf I loved the name Elle when you first wrote it but now that I read the above ones I think they would be a million times prettier! But of course I'm not you but Estelle and Noelle are definitely going onto my name list in this moment

Yanbu for being pissed off.

Doesn’t elle mean “she”?

ella is better: call DD ella!

What about Elke, much nicer too!

Call her Belle, it's a much nicer name.

If you still want to call your dd Elle after the birth, then call her Elle.

If the names are too similar, then it will have been your SIL (and your bro) responsibility to have chosen a name they KNEW would be extremely close to yours.

They don’t own the name either so there is no reason for you not to use a name that you’ve always liked and always wanted.

Never, ever, ever tell anyone the name until after you've registered the baby.

No one owns a name, but nobody can copy you if you don't tell them.

A similar thing happened to me and I was pissed off, in the end we went with our first choice anyway because it’s the name we’d chosen, if u “don’t own the name” then neither do they

Actually Eleanor is a fab idea and her nickname can be Elle. Perfect!

Yes scelestus I’m a big fan and that’s what I thought when I read the name Elle! Then my mind went to legally blonde. Regardless it is a really lovely name and if you’re heart is set on it OP then don’t let it stop you from giving it to your dd. If you’re not 100% anymore then have a re think about something else you might prefer? :)

Call her Elle. I reckon SIL will probably decide that her DD doesn't look like an Ella after all, if you stick to your guns.

I have known this to happen to someone in rl and they stuck to their name choice, and the person who 'stole' the name changed their baby's name.

Elle is the way they say hell in London. “When Elle freezes over”!
There’s loads of names out there, just let your sil have it and choose another

I would be annoyed at this.

Call her Elle anyway- they are different names after all, albeit similar.

A very close family friend named her younger daughter kinda after me (I am about 4 years older) and it never caused any issues. And this is someone we saw virtually every day so I'd keep the name.

I'd still be annoyed with your SIL and I'd make sure never to share any cool idea ever.

It's bad form alright. YANBU. Terrible form really from the SIL. But you should absolutely call your baby girl, the name you love (and I can't believe people are telling you their opinions on the name being bad etc, entirely not relevant). Call her the name you had always chosen. So what if they sound similar?

I'm in a place where my dad's name, is the same as my brother's name, is the same as my husband's brother's name. Ready for it....My husband's name is the same as my grandad's name, is the same as my first cousin's name, is the same as my husband's uncles name, my husband's first cousin's name and is also the same as my uncle's name (yes maybe needs to be read more than once!). And no, we did not star in or inspire the movie 'deliverance' . TBH it's not a great name in my opinion (i.e no offence to my, but... there you go. 2 families who got connected through 1 marriage all use this name.

It matters not a jot that her cousin has an almost the same name. Why on earth would it? USE the name you have chosen for her and ignore the SIL.