Umm, what a dick move?

[user1497545304]

This is probably the definition of a first world problem but...

SIL and I got pregnant around the same time, and she's just had her baby girl. I'm due in a couple of weeks.
Before I even found out I was having a girl, I had my heart set on the name Elle - I even posted a thread about this! Me and SIL are close and she knew very, very well about this.

After much deliberation, I helped SIL decide on the name Mia for her baby.

Went to visit her and new baby in hospital this morning, where she announced that her baby looked like such an ELLA that she just had to screw Mia and go with that. I didn't say anything but I wanted to throttle her

Umm, wtf? SIL knew very well that we were going with Elle, and now we can't! Elle and Ella are just TOO similar, let's face it.

I am extremely pissed and also upset! I trusted SIL like a best friend. She's always been very aware of people's feelings.

Just rang up my mum, and was told I was being 'bratty' and 'overreacting'.

I would never dream of doing what SIL did, though!

AIBU?

Oh yes :) you could have an Ella too (for a couple of days). See how everyone feels about name stealers then.

I can see it both ways, you don't own the name but it is a bit of a dick move on her part. I'd stick with your original plan and call your DD Elle if that's the name you like, you announced you were planning on using that name a while ago so she can't acuse you of coping her.

for this very annoying reason

sorry posted too early there lol

I'd say to sil 'just to let you know that I still intend to call my dd Elle as always. Just in case you'd find it weird that the names would be so similar-obv it will be a bit odd but I'm sure we'd get used to it'

I think it's really out of order of it. Congratulations @ good luck!

Aw that’s a bit rubbish isn’t it. It’s not even about the name, it’s about her choosing something so close to your name for ? reason and springing it on you thoughtless and unkind if it’s someone close to you.

But there are other names, you’ll find one you love. I heard one the other day I love am a nurse and a girl was called Ailsa after ailsa craig it’s meaning is lovely too. I have 4 Boys so never got to use my girls name but I’m sure you’ll choose something beautiful for your baby x

What does your mil think?

Call her Mia

Yes, a dick move.

Call your dad Elle regardless.

She did a really shitty thing. Call your daughter Elle anyway.

She looked like such an Ella
What does this even mean? She might still be high on Pethedine.

Just stick with Elle if you want, I doubt you'll be meeting up much with sil now you hate her

Call your dad Elle regardless

This thread has got weird

An unusual name I might agree.

But Elle / Ella. So common, both girls will be surrounded by them anyway so it doesn't matter.

Babies don’t look like anything

I never understand that

There are so many beautiful names out there. Personally I love a name that can be shortened, and is (ideally) not too popular:

Persephone
Tamsin
Sian
Georgina
Isabella
Isobel
Araminta
Jasmine
Esme
Stella

To name but a few. I know you have your heart set... but I would change. You are obviously close, so the children will see each other often.

And never tell anyone your intended baby names ever again (or make something weird up!).

My youngest looked like Bernard Manning when he was born.
We didn't go with that.

Yanbu. That's really shitty. Of course they're similar.

This is why my babys name is a tighly kept secret no matter how much people ask.

YANBU. Some of the comments on here are fucking dickish. Sorry, we don't all have Jocastas and Tarquins. I don't believe the OP actually asked if anyone liked her choice of name at all.

Definitely tell your SIL (who sounds like a knob, this must have been deliberate, no way this came out of nowhere) that you are going ahead with the name Elle as you have discussed with her and they do sound very similar, she will have to have the skin of a rhino to not realise she is being a dick. You could just put Eleanor on the birth certificate but never refer to it if your DD gets fed up of having a similar name to her cousin. From experience everyone bloody shortens a name anyway, even when ypu don't want them to.

That is a sly move from your sister in law! She could have at least spoken to you about it first if as the names are very similar! I agree with PP who said to tell her you still intend on calling your daughter Elle and hope that she doesn’t mind them being so similar!

Could be worse - my sil used 'our' baby name for her dog (after finding out which name we picked). 😂

choose another name but keep it to yourself. There must have been another name she liked that you could maybe use - what would she call her second child if she had one?

It is SUCH a dick move. She’s an utter dick. Who does that? Call your daughter Elle.

You should definitely call your dd Elle. Even if she had used Elle itself you should still go with Elle. It's your choice, you chose it. Don't let other people's shoddy behaviour stop you with what you had wanted to do.

Do you have any records of texts/emails/messages with it on? If you do then print them out and keep in case anyone presses you on the matter.

To anyone who says "wow those are similar names". Say yes, I was surprised as well. SIL had decided on Mia and we had decided on Elle so I was really surprised when she went for Ella.

They are only cousins anyway and not siblings so I wouldn't worry.

I’d call her Elle Mia myself.

You read my mind 40

OP - Elle is a lovely name. I would be stottin' * if someone did this to me, but if I really loved a name, I would use it. It may be that when your baby is born she looks like a Demi or a Susannah (or a Mia!) or whatever. Sometimes babies just look like a name.

I think your SIL has pulled a quick trick - but there is nothing you can do (unless you want to pick an entirely different name, and pretend that you tricked SIL into Elle/Ella to protect the one you wanted)

• Geordie - English translation : stottin' = furious