AIBU to think my friend is taking the piss?

[Linning]

Was supposed to meet with friend this evening to help her out with a project and catch up. We were supposed to meet up at around 6pm when she was due out of work but at 6pm she sent me a text saying "Just got off work, I am heading to the gym now, will be done at around 9pm, let's meet then! x" . Didn't say anything, figured I could use the time to do stuff around the house and do a bit of work. Come 9 pm and she sends me another text saying that she "just finished her gym session and was now going to get a shower and go home" so I simply told her to text me when she was home and ready and I would come over (she lives close by), about an hour later I received another text from her saying that she had "just bumped into a friend who has just moved in the area and she was off to check out her new appartment but she would text me when she left her friend's flat so we could meet." It is now 11pm (!) where I am living and I am sat at home supposedly waiting for a text from her to tell me she is now finally ready to meet me.

So am I unreasonable to think she is taking the utter piss? She has a form for this too. She once asked to meet up with her at a certain time, then texted me when I was ready to tell me that she would need an extra hour to clean up her place and have a quick shower, when I got there an hour later, she had "fallen asleep" so I had to wait an extra 30 minutes in her living room while she showered and got ready, we then spent an hour together (where I got dragged along to buy furniture for her place) before she casually told me that she had a skype session scheduled with her therapist in about 15 minutes and did I think we could meet up again when she was done an hour later.

So is that me or this friend absolutely doesn't value me or my time at all? I have no problem being flexible and rescheduling but I have feeling she has taken it to the next level now and I am especially angry as I have refused other plans for the night so I could be available for her and her project and have now been left feeling like a proper mug.

Having got to this stage in life and realising that I was being mugged off by a spectacular amount of people (friends and family) who funnily enough were never there when I needed anything, I now just don’t respond. I can’t be arsed with people who use me.

Not much of a wake up call!

You are still busy setting your alarm to get up nice and early to help someone who doesn't give a monkies about what they need done because they expect the mug called Linning to do it for them.

Turn it off and go back to sleep.

I would turn that alarm off and ignore the door

I wouldn’t feel too sorry about it if you were to sleep through your alarm and miss the 9-11 timeslot you suggested.

It’s not like she’s been making an effort to meet up about this supposedly important project, is it?

I hope you turned off your alarm and had a well deserved lay in, op!

I hope your lie in is going well.

linning when someone is doing you a favour, you (usually) go all out to accept that someone’s giving up their time/experience for free so even if I’d been late out of work, I would have been apologetic, I would’ve missed the gym and bought you dinner. I’m sure sure that’s a normal reaction for having a friend give up their evening.

Hope you’ve had a lie in!

Op - what happened?

Hope you are still snoozing - might make CF realise you’re not a doormat

I hope you went for the option of lying in instead of getting up early for said "friend".

I hope you stayed in bed to OP this person has a pure brass neck

I hope you stayed in bed to OP this person has a pure brass neck

Hoping Op didn't bother with the alarm & is still sleeping, coz I' sure CF will be planning to sleep as long as she wants & then beg Op to see her.

What a using bitch!

She's no friend. Of course YANBU.

I agreed to help her and she now has very little time before the deadline. I feel it would be a bit mean to have her try and find somebody else.

She has very little time before the deadline because she didn't prioritise the meet up with you that was scheduled. Her project is her responsibility, not yours, so no it's not "mean" of you. You offered help and she accepted, but then she allowed everything else to prioritise. How fucking rude is that?

In my next post I'm going to post a link to a book about setting boundaries. You can get it instantly on kindle or order as a book. You really need to read it OP.

READ THIS SHORT BOOK

I'd be very surprised if she turned up at 9am. Be prepared for panicked and begging texts tomorrow when it sinks in that she needs to get this project done. Don't be available - you offered a time slot to her, so it was her responsibility to prioritise and make use of it and therefore it's her look-out if she couldn't be arsed to sort herself out. You are not obliged to run round after her specifically to do her a favour!

Did she come round?

I bet the OP slept through her alarm. 😆

How can you be in any doubt that your ‘friend’ is taking the piss? Absolutely and downright rude, selfish, disrespectful , egocentric and inconsiderate. These aren’t qualities I look for in a friend.

Please let us know what happened op

I just feel bad about doing this because I have promised I would help her with her project as she needs my expertise

Well she didn’t need your expertise that much did she??!! If she really needed it, she would have made damn sure that she met up with you at the arranged time. Please tell us you have told her where to go??

This 'friend' wants you to do the work, OP. She doesn't want help - she wants you to do all of it.