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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think getting quite drunk with a baby is odd??

576 replies

Choccywoccydoo10 · 16/11/2017 12:14

NC as could be outing.

So we are suppose to be visiting friends this weekend. They have a 6 month old we have a toddler. They want to go out for dinner and drink then go back to theirs and pop open the champagne. Apparently they have quite a few bottles. My DP friend then said he's going to guzzle the wine and his wife will be drinking too.

Obviously most of the drinking will be when the kids are in bed but AIBU to think you wouldn't do this?? What if something happened like an emergency and you needed to go out or the baby needed something. I wouldn't want to get really drunk while caring for my D'S.

I'm all for having fun and a laugh but a glass or 2 not 3 bottles of champagne and guzzling wine!

AIBU or would other people do this?

OP posts:
bluekittykitty · 16/11/2017 13:17

Obviously I'm boring here but ?....i couldn't think of anything worse than looking after a baby and toddler under the influence of alcohol ,
a glass with dinner is fine but i would never drink more when being responsible adult caring for miners

You are right to feel uncomfortable as your maternal instincts will be to ensure safety

By all means parents can have a drink but really anything more than a glass or two you need to have a babysitter or a sober responsible adult

Hope you figure out what to do as already sounds like causing you stress it's not about not having fun when you're a parent it's the fact that parents are meant to be responsible

StickThatInYourPipe · 16/11/2017 13:17

Doremisofarsogood

We loved going to the pub as kids! They had an outdoor park play area and could change about all afternoon. We always had to drive so parents weren’t drinking, just a great place to meet friends and let us kids blow off some steam

wineusuallyhelps · 16/11/2017 13:18

@Walkingdead11 I’d agree if both parents were completely out of it. That is dangerous for the children.

However, I don’t drink to a point where my rational judgement is impaired and I couldn’t make decisions. I don’t like feeling like that. (But I am over the limit to drive and would never drive even if I’d had just one unit, even though the law says I can, because I think it should be zero...I digress.). So having a couple isn’t “disgusting”.

LemonysSnicket · 16/11/2017 13:18

3 bottles of champagne between 4 people is about 3 glasses each. Add a couple of glasses of wine at dinner ... honestly would barely effect me. We all have different tolerances.
Oh, and calling weed marijuana makes you sound so pearl clutching it's ridiculous. I hate weed and I don't think parents should get drunk around their babies but come on ...

QuiteLikely5 · 16/11/2017 13:18

Who on earth makes it clear they’re planning to smoke weed during your visit?

Champagne - Aldi’s finest?

If you disagree with the lifestyle choices of others why socialise with them and sleep over at their house?

Originalfoogirl · 16/11/2017 13:19

I'm with you OP. I've never been much of a drinker and haven't since well before our girl was born. Apparently that makes me boring and/or sanctimonious.

Actually, it makes me someone who never really enjoyed drinking, got terrible hangovers and decided it wasn't worth it.

There have been so many stories, including one in our town where a young girl became ill and her parents were drinking so couldn't take her to the hospital. She died because there were not enough ambulances in the area. We all know the ambulance service is over stretched and that mistakes have happened. This is why I will always make sure there is a sober person in charge of our daughter. It's usually me, and that's not a problem but I have been in a similar situation where one (ex) friend was convinced she was going to "get me drunk" just for fun, one night when they were coming over to stay with their little boy. Just to add to the fun, we were staying somewhere very rural where ambulances (and taxis) are like hens teeth. Absolutely no way I wouldn't have one sober adult in that situation.

hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea · 16/11/2017 13:22

By all means parents can have a drink but really anything more than a glass or two you need to have a babysitter or a sober responsible adult

No thank you, I do not

including one in our town where a young girl became ill and her parents were drinking so couldn't take her to the hospital. She died because there were not enough ambulances in the area

How disgusting of you to suggest a child died because her parents had been drinking. She died because of a lack of ambulances, or possibly because whatever happened to her meant that she would have died either way.
Unless you are suggesting that anyone who could not drive for any reason would have also have been responsible for their child's death?

Originalfoogirl · 16/11/2017 13:22

adult caring for miners

Not typo or spelling shaming here but this one gave me a great mental image. Miners work down mines...Grin

user1483877842 · 16/11/2017 13:22

This reply has been deleted

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mumof06darlings · 16/11/2017 13:22

If the baby is only 6 months - judging by mine anyways they could be a high chance they would wake up for a bottle or something and if both parents are drinking then yanbu. If your not allowed to be behind the wheel of a car after a drink due to imparement then you def should not be in charge of a baby with a number of drinks onboard. Kids are only young for a short period of time so, i always believe one person could easily abstain and be responsible.
Kids are our responsibility and they need us to be at our 100 percent for us to give them care. Accidents happen too easy

LagunaBubbles · 16/11/2017 13:23

kootoo if you are over the limit, you are DRUNK

Crap. Absolute crap. The drink driving limit here in Scotland is so low I could have half a glass of wine and be over it. There is no way I would be drunk on 1 glass of wine, never mind half a one!

mybestfriendisadog · 16/11/2017 13:23

well, I can't drive - I guess my DC are destined to expire. In fact, we were told to call an ambulance for emergencies because by and large, they can get to you and provide care faster than you can get to them.

Due to the flashing lights n all...

What makes you santimonious, is exporting your (extreme) choices onto other people as moral judgments that you're better because you've given up doing something you never enjoyed in the first place.

I don't smoke because I never wanted to - therefore anybody who smokes whilst being a parent is clearly some sort of reprobate that should be taken away in chains.

BaronessEllaSaturday · 16/11/2017 13:25

including one in our town where a young girl became ill and her parents were drinking so couldn't take her to the hospital. She died because there were not enough ambulances in the area

My child would have died in the same situation due to me not driving.

LagunaBubbles · 16/11/2017 13:25

By all means parents can have a drink but really anything more than a glass or two you need to have a babysitter or a sober responsible adult

Thanks but its not up to you to decide what adults do in their own homes. And no my children don't need a babysitter if I drink a bottle of wine at dinner. Hmm

LemonysSnicket · 16/11/2017 13:27

I aldo think theres a big divide here between people who think more than 2 glasses of wine means you're hammered and those who don't . ...have any of the people who don't drink much thought about the fact that 3 glasses to someone with no tolerance could make them quite drunk but to someone with tolerance they could be pretty much sober ...and vice versa?

Hanuman · 16/11/2017 13:28

There have been so many stories, including one in our town where a young girl became ill and her parents were drinking so couldn't take her to the hospital. She died because there were not enough ambulances in the area.

We don't own a car. Are we bad parents?

Originalfoogirl · 16/11/2017 13:28

How disgusting of you to suggest a child died because her parents had been drinking. She died because of a lack of ambulances, or possibly because whatever happened to her meant that she would have died either way.

So, the bit where I said "she died because there were not enough ambulances in the area" didn't suggest that I understood she had died because there were not enough ambulances in the area Confused? Not sure how much clearer I could make it.

Point being, if I were in that situation, I could not ever forgive myself, even though the fault lay with the ambulance service which is why I choose always to make sure there is a sober someone. Nothing in that suggests it was the fault of the parents. But surely we all learn from tragedies, how to try to avoid the same thing happening again? We should be able to rely on friends, neighbours, taxis and ambulances but tragically it has been proven that sometimes we can't.

Originalfoogirl · 16/11/2017 13:30

We don't own a car. Are we bad parents?

Nope. And never suggested you would be. But I do own a car so it is within my power to manage the risk. You will have your own contingency plan which suits your own family circumstances, I expect.

hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea · 16/11/2017 13:30

Not sure how much clearer I could make it

Perhaps you should not have used it as an anecdote as to why parents should not drink?
Don't backtrack now that people have pointed out what a shameful thing you were suggesting. Hmm

mybestfriendisadog · 16/11/2017 13:30

come on - that is disorderedly over-anxious to never drink in case there is an issue and an ambulance can't get to you, there are no taxis and no neighbours to help.

Of course it's fine for you to make any legal choice you want, it's not fine to expect other people to do the same and judge them for it foo

EastDulwichWife · 16/11/2017 13:32

I'd hold judgement till you have to scrape them off the bathroom floor on Saturday night. You have absolutely no idea of knowing how pissed they will get until the night. It's pretty basic language and sounds more, to me, like they've got a six month old and can't wait to let their hair down. Not, as you seem to have fixated on, that they will get so battered that they can't call a taxi. Relax and stop judging them.

ProfessorCat · 16/11/2017 13:32

It always makes me smile how non-drinkers who disagree with aspects of drinking alcohol such as the driving limit, caring for children and alcohol on a lunch break are immediately called sanctimonious and preachy, boring or miserable.

I'm none of those things, but I do have strong opinions about alcohol. That doesn't make me preachy because I don't preach to people about it in my actual life. I just avoid socialising with them.

grimeofthecentury · 16/11/2017 13:34

I remember when people on mn were fun. Now it's full of boring bastards.

kaytee87 · 16/11/2017 13:34

I wouldn’t ever get drunk if I was in charge of ds but I could have a couple of drinks and not be drunk.

His wife might only plan to have 1 or 2.

If they’re both totally pissed and he’s smoking drugs with kids in the house then that is obviously not on at all.

You don’t know what will happen as you haven’t been yet. Tbh the weed thing would put me off anyway.

ProfessorCat · 16/11/2017 13:35

Who's boring, grime?