Page 9 | To feel sick to my stomach?

TimeForSilence · 2017-11-16T06:58:47+00:00

I have NC for this as very outing. I have spent the past 14 months going through hell at work. I raised aco

LivLemler · 22/11/2017 16:58

This is awful OP. I'm so sorry you're going through this. You've been very brave - that sounds trite but I do mean it. How on earth he can say that when he is the perpetrator.

Original poster

TimeForSilence · 22/11/2017 17:13

Thank you Liv.

He is a massive man mountain and in a middle Management position. He was threatening my job. If I was that scary and making him feel vulnerable he could have just reported me. He had that option. I was too scared to do that as I was worried about my job.

I still can’t believe any of this. I feel like I’m in a dream.

OP posts:

Cantchooseaname · 22/11/2017 19:27

How dare he. Scared- for his career, of the truth. People that abuse power make me furious.
Do you have home insurance? Sometimes legal cover, including for work issues, is included in terms. I'd love you to get a kick ass lawyer and sort him out!!

MrsHathaway · 22/11/2017 20:49

And people wonder why women don't report.

This is fucking why. Because even with pages and pages of evidence and confessions and being found guilty of two offences, FUCK ALL HAPPENS. So why on earth would we lay ourselves bare?

OP and all sympathy.

AngelaTwerkel · 22/11/2017 22:28

"Apparently he felt intimidated and vulnerable."

How dare he. Furious for you, OP.

Original poster

TimeForSilence · 23/11/2017 07:32

Is that a plausible defence? Is that why he got such a feeble sanction?

I had demonstrated he wouldn’t leave me alone. Maybe complaining about him is ‘bullying’ him. He has been getting away with it for nearly 30 years.

Thanks everyone for your advice and support. It is appreciated

OP posts:

JamPasty · 23/11/2017 08:28

Massive massive hugs.

Domani · 23/11/2017 11:08

OP, if it's any consolation I know how you feel with regards to having loads of evidence to no avail. Mine was with SS which I won't go into because no one on here would believe me. But it was tantamount to emotional abuse to my children and affected them immensely. To this day, 10 years later they still suffer emotionally from it, dd still needing therapy. When or if you're feeling really down about it, please try therapy because injustice can eat away at you and make you ill. We never got resolve even though we went to court and LGO with (like you) masses of paperwork including documented evidence from other agencies. It sounds as though you may get some resolve in your case though, I really hope you do. In the meantime, concentrate on the fact that you have 2 out of 3 upheld so YOU have done nothing wrong. Sorry about what's happened to you. I know only too well that feeling of devastation, good luck OP and don't forget, 2 out of 3 were proven.

Original poster

TimeForSilence · 23/11/2017 11:17

Domani - thank you and I am so sorry about what you went through Injustice is an awful feeling.

I am thinking about asking if he ‘confessed’ to anything in the Hearing, such as lifting up my top. I will then let the Police deal with it. I have lots of people, including PC friends, advise me to report it but I will just look like a scorned woman harassing him. Despite all the evidence suggesting the contrary.

OP posts:

Domani · 23/11/2017 11:24

And NO, making complaints is NOT bullying or harassment, so stop thinking that. We were accused of that also, when making complaints. Keep your chin up.

Domani · 23/11/2017 11:28

I doubt if they'll tell you of any admissions from him, but it's worth a try.

TooManyPaws · 23/11/2017 11:29

Rubbish. You will NOT look like a scorned woman. Take the advice of your police officer friends. Regardless of whether or not he admitted to it, you have a cause for complaint of sexual assault, attempted rape and harassment. Anyway, don't worry about what that bunch of sexist numpties think; you're well out of there and will never have to deal with them again. No one with any brain will think badly of you - don't let them brainwash you into their warped thinking. ❤️

BaDumShh · 23/11/2017 11:34

Definitely report to the police, 100%. It’s what he deserves. If someone lifted your top or attempted to rape you out in the street, or in a shop, you’d have no hesitation in reporting it. Why is it any different because it was in work? It’s still a crime.

VeganIan · 23/11/2017 11:43

Definitely report to the police, 100%. It’s what he deserves. If someone lifted your top or attempted to rape you out in the street, or in a shop, you’d have no hesitation in reporting it. Why is it any different because it was in work? It’s still a crime.

Surely it's a police matter?

AngelaTwerkel · 23/11/2017 12:33

"Take the advice of your police officer friends."

Yes, this. They must know, right?

I would guess his feeling "intimidated and vulnerable" is simply a desperate effort to try and get out of this.

Original poster

TimeForSilence · 23/11/2017 13:40

Thanks again everyone.

I will wait for a reply from HR. It all seems to take so long.

I honestly don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be accused of harassing him!

OP posts:

TooManyPaws · 23/11/2017 17:21

Anyone who says that you are harassing HIM would be laughed out of court to use a cliché.

Original poster

TimeForSilence · 01/12/2017 18:12

Just a quick update if anyone is still following this.

I have just had it confirmed that the Service won't provide me with any justification as to why the sanction was so low.

Speechless again.

OP posts:

TheLegendOfBeans · 01/12/2017 18:37

I am so fucking mad for you.

Bratsandtwats · 01/12/2017 18:53

Have you now formally resigned and reported him to the police?

Pigflewpast · 02/12/2017 16:52

^this, and did you speak to the solicitor?

FireCracker2 · 02/12/2017 18:00

OP I hope you will take everything on here with a grain of salt and get real life legal advice

Original poster

TimeForSilence · 05/12/2017 12:39

I have just resigned today. Weight lifted and new job to start in 4 weeks. I am so relieved.

Thank you everyone.

OP posts:

LivLemler · 05/12/2017 13:17

So sorry to hear you were forced to make that decision OP.

If you have the energy for it, consider taking legal advice. But perfectly understandable if you just want to move on. What they've done to you is unforgivable.

All the best for the new job.

CHERRYBL0SS0M · 05/12/2017 14:43

I just wanted to echo others, I am so very sorry that you have gone through this, I wish I had some useful advice.

The situation stinks! The fact they will not give you any justification implies that they have no excuse. Does he have something that he is holding over someone higher up? Nothing that you have described seems to follow the legal requirements for gross misconduct investigation.

As above posters have said, if you can please do take this further and seek legal advice. The fact hat you said he is like that with every female would make me want to fight it as far as possible, to stop him doing the same to someone else. You're right, he will now think he is invincible, and may step it up with the next woman.

Congratulations for your new job, I wish you every success