Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To feel sick to my stomach?

230 replies

TimeForSilence · 16/11/2017 06:58

I have NC for this as very outing.

I have spent the past 14 months going through hell at work.

I raised aco

OP posts:
Allthebestnamesareused · 16/11/2017 10:59

I think you need to get advice asap as you will need to resign asap to rely on their decision for constructive dismissal. If there is too a long a delay between the event that causes the dismissal (in this case the decision) then I think it may not be deemed to be constructive.

McTufty · 16/11/2017 11:00

OP this is disgraceful - so sorry it has happened.

I’m an en employment lawyer, I would hesitate to wait for your start date for your new job before resigning. You would leave yourself open to an argument you resigned because you had another job, rather than because of their breach of contract in requiring you to stay working with a proven sex pest. It may not be fatal to your claim given the circumstances but you’re probably better off putting in writing sooner rather than later that because of their handling of this you are resigning. Make sure you outline all of the reasons why you are resigning too.

ticketytock1 · 16/11/2017 11:08

He must have something on time one senior / who is part of the decision making process when it comes to his disciplinary. Hard to explain otherwise!
What a horrible situation for you. Take them to the cleaners and go to the police!

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 16/11/2017 11:14

Feel free to vent here during the process - we’re absolutely on your side! What a shot thing to happen, I am livid on your behalf.

bunbunny · 16/11/2017 11:15

Just out of curiosity and please don't feel you have to answer - but at any point in the proceedings was the perpetrator expected to formally apologise to you for what he was found guilty of and to make any undertakings not to do it again (to you or others) ?

Because if he didn't have to then what was the point of giving him a warning? Certainly shows that those running the tribunal don't understand the impact of his behaviour on you and is another point to raise in constructive dismissal.

CoraPirbright · 16/11/2017 11:17

I am sorry that I have nothing useful to add unlike McTufty, Foodie et al but I just wanted to wish you the best of luck with ACAS etc. I hope they are super useful and supportive. Go to the mattresses on this one - this sorry excuse for a ‘man’ deserves to have his career in tatters.

TheLegendOfBeans · 16/11/2017 11:20

I am appalled. I got the exact same result at a disciplinary for a stupid mistake to do with EU financial legislation and my not having done the correct due diligence.

I’m appalled for you OP.

littlebird77 · 16/11/2017 11:26

Call the police, tell your company you have decided to start criminal proceedings, before you do would they like to revisit their decision? This alone might be enough to scare them into sacking him.

If you are ex police you will know yourself how seriously they will take this. You have hard evidence that the CPS will want to see. You can NOT allow this predator to continue, you have a duty to all the young women coming up behind you to protect them.

Secondly I would definitely sue, if they will not move on their decision then a tribunal is your only way forward along with being charged by the police.

My guess would be once they know how serious you are they will change their minds and get rid of him. I would still consider prosecution even if they dismiss him. If he has done it to you he has very likely abused other women too. You must stop him, please.

MrsHathaway · 16/11/2017 11:31

He thought he was invincible before, he knows it now.

I wish this weren't true, but I believe it.

Even without details I'm deeply upset for you. This is the second "slap on the wrist" (not even slap, tap with a feather) I've heard about this week and I'm reeling with the unfairness of it all, during a period where you would think everyone would be hypersensitive to how devastating sexual harassment can be.

Very best wishes for your fight, and for your new job.

chocz · 16/11/2017 11:38

OP secure your new job

Secure a reference from your existing job

Then and then when you are sorted conplain - write to the highest people you can- board members letting them know that this person has received a first written warning.

Let them know they have not supported you or women.

Bluetrews25 · 16/11/2017 11:40

So sorry this is happening to you, Time
Sad fact with many employers is that if you complain about someone higher up the food chain than you, even with evidence of horrendous wrongdoing, the higher up one shows their teflon coating and the complainer becomes a bad, bad troublemaker who has to leave. IME.
It's not right.
Flowers

chocz · 16/11/2017 11:40

Also I would make a complaint to the police.

I think constructive dismissal could be hard to prove as you have a new job which your existing employer can use to say you have mitigated any loss.

I think contacting the Police must be a good call.

TimeForSilence · 16/11/2017 11:49

I am absolutely overwhelmed, thank you all.

I will be fighting this and at no point has he ever been expected to apologise.

I will be spending the afternoon on the phone. It has been handled badly and now my own manager is ignoring me. No support considering I had to be dragged off a dual carriageway yesterday due to how devastated I was.

In this climate it should have been dealt with.

OP posts:
TimeForSilence · 16/11/2017 11:50

Chocz - I applied for that job because I needed a back up. I never wanted to leave. I have no choice now.

OP posts:
MrsHathaway · 16/11/2017 11:56

I think constructive dismissal could be hard to prove as you have a new job which your existing employer can use to say you have mitigated any loss.

IANAL but surely the point is she had to look for a new job because he was creating such an intolerable working environment and management didn't do enough to prevent that.

TimeForSilence · 16/11/2017 12:02

Spot on Mrs - I might have a new job but it’s a 80 miles a day commute and it’s going to cost me a fortune in fuel and childcare but I have no choice.

OP posts:
chocz · 16/11/2017 12:03

Yes I agree but best OP does secure a new role as that is the right thing to do for her financially and then she can pursue complaints and a case - including the loss of her statutory rights (considering that she will lose her statutory rights for 2 years at her new job).

Good luck OP.

I hope you can progress this but also hope you can secure a fresh start and not be penalised for doing so.

chocz · 16/11/2017 12:04

OP is there anyone else you know of that has taken this man on or has been let go because of it.

I am sure you won’t be his first victim.

Take care of yourself.

MrsPinkCock · 16/11/2017 12:07

OP, you need legal advice, and quickly.

I’m an employment lawyer.

Whilst there may be a potential CD claim here, the claim will fail unless it meets the fundamental components required - your employer must have committed a fundamental breach of contract, and you must accept that breach by resigning WITHOUT DELAY. If you continue to work there, they can argue that you’ve waived the breach of contract, or that the real reason you resigned was because you had a new job. That will make your legal position very difficult as in a CD situation you would ordinarily resign straight after the breach and without giving any notice.

You also need to bear in mind the three month limitation period - if the sexual harassment acts were more than three months ago, and nothing has happened since that would extend that three month period, you could lose your right to bring that claim. However you could argue the outcome to the disciplinary was a further discriminatory act which could bring it all within time limits.

You also need to ensure that you exhaust the grievance and appeals process - if you don’t, your employer has the argument that they haven’t committed a fundamental breach as it could have been rectified through the grievance or appeal process. Plus, it would reduce your compensation even if you won (and if you walk straight into another job you won’t be entitled to loss of earnings compensation unless your new job pays less).

You really do need fast legal advice.

TimeForSilence · 16/11/2017 12:15

I can’t resign right now as I’m in hospital and I have no access to IT.

My work aren’t talking to me either. I have been left vulnerable and I will be resigning ASAP. I will then stay off sick for my month notice as I feel too vulnerable to return.

He has loads of other victims but no one else will speak up.

OP posts:
TimeForSilence · 16/11/2017 12:16

I will not be going back into work - I handed my ICT equipment and ID card in yesterday. They won’t accept my resignation until I’ve thought about it and I have no right of appeal.

I will be going to the papers instead.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 16/11/2017 12:17

I can’t resign right now as I’m in hospital and I have no access to IT.

Can't you send an email from your phone/tablet/MNing device?

SoupDragon · 16/11/2017 12:17
Flowers

Sorry you're having to deal with this BTW.

TimeForSilence · 16/11/2017 12:19

I have tried to ring various people this morning and I am being ignored. My work email account has been disabled on this phone.

I also have 1% battery. I need to talk to ACAS and a solicitor before I do anything.

He makes me sick.

OP posts:
CiderwithBuda · 16/11/2017 12:24

I know you are angry and distraught. Rightly so. But please take a deep breath and take the advice of the employment lawyers on here. Work out how to get the best outcome for you. Going to the papers might make you feel better but might actually not be your best route long term. You need to look after you. Flowers

Swipe left for the next trending thread