To think a 13 year old boy shouldn't use the ladies loo?

[NameChangeLulu]

NC for this. Recently I was in a situation where a group of people I was in went to a service station. A boy of 13 was told by his mother to come into the ladies with her rather than use the gents as it was safer.

AIBU to think that’s not OK?

Where are all these 6 foot 13 year olds? I have never seen one. My (nearly) 13 year old is 4 foot 5 without any obvious signs of puberty.

And no one has answered the question about

How safe will the ladies remain as previously stops being the ladies.

The boys will all have the option of the men's but where does that leave the women?

As it slowly stops

Yes, most people's risk assessment is way off. My Sil wouldn't let her boys go to the loo at a family campsite, but let them, as not great swimmers, go waist deep in rough sea on a beach with dangerous currents. Bizarre.

Funnily enough tweens aren't often raped on public high streets in broad day light. Sadly it has happened in public toilets out of view and behind locked doors.My kids keep to main roads when out with mates. They avoid dodgy roads,bus stations and yes toilets. They are old enough to cope and manage risk alone. At 12/13 they weren't ready.

You can't go three feet round gere without bumping into multiple traffic wardens.

They even have time to arrest people for fishing but won't find your burglar.

What are these towns doing where the criminals are being handed to them on a men's toilet shaped plate and still it's being allowed to carry on.

Something needs doing about that besides expecting the women to sort it out

So who is it who makes the gents unsafe and unsanitary?

Men.

So the answer to this is to allow men in the women's loo because "it's alright it's just MY son"....and then someone else does it and someone else until (a) there is no ladies space and (b) the ladies is as "dangerous" as the men's?

I must admit having been near many men's loos in stations, service stations, shopping centres by virtue of going to the ladies; I am yet to see countless men recoiling in Horror.

To those people taking their teens into the ladies, what are you doing to try and rectify the situation of unsafe male loos?

It's utterly odd. And then those with a warped sense of risk often act superior lile they are more concerned with their child's safety and anyone who doesn't agree mustn't care enough about their child.
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The other one is 'won't allow my child to walk 15 mins to school with a friend because it is dangerous' but will put them in a car where they are more likely to be hurt or killed.

My DS was 6' at 14. I find the suggestion of a family toilet for teenagers and their parents bizarre. Aren't they rooms with multiple multi size toilets? My 13yo DD wouldn't use the toilet in front of me!

Haven't read all the thread so apologies if I am being repetitive but there was a horrific story recently of a 15 year old, waiting for his mum at the gym, who was raped in the toilets. Here in France, there have been similar cases in shopping centre loos. If I deemed the situation even remotely dodgy, my 13 year old would be coming with me, regardless.

You are sexualising children.

Do you know what that term means? And of course teenage boys can be sexual predators!

Where do you suggest 12 year old boys many of whom won't have phones go to the toilet if they don't feel safe,their adult doesn't think it's safe? The street?

If there’s a point where the gents is actually dangerous, the disabled toilet is the better bet.

No one has explained why they are peering into men’s’ toilets yet?

Frankly I'm shocked re the high numbers of delicate girls

So in your book boys are in danger with males in toilets but girls are just being delicate when males are in their toilet. What misogynistic bullshit

I think most parents are pretty good re calculating risk. I know campsite loos I would and wouldn't let my kids go to unattended, I also know beaches I would and wouldn't let them swim in.

Situations vary. A blanket ban puts kids at risk. Common sense is needed. An accompanied 12/13 year old poses zero risk.

Oh, not again. Nobody is saying that 13 year old boys are sexual predators.

I don't think men are all sexual predators. That is why I was perfectly happy for my son to use the men's loo as soon as he wad old enough to reliably wipe his own bottom and not lock himself in the cubicle.

Funnily enough tweens aren't often raped on public high streets in broad day light.
Sadly it has happened in public toilets out of view and behind lockeddoors
Funnily enough, a child is more likely to be abused or assaulted by someone they know (e.g. family, family friends etc) than they are a stranger.
That's the point. It is a warped sense of risk to act like a child is more in danger from a stranger than someone they know.

And yes where does little Johnny wee when he’s not in town with mummy dearest? If the men’s is ‘unsanitary’ does he goes to the ladies?

If I saw a teenage boy in the ladies I’d report it. They don’t belong in women’s toilets.

So if your 12/13 year old needed the loo while at the bus station waiting for the bus home, what do you tell him to do?

As can teenage girls be sexual predators. Most thankfully aren't. A penis does not a sexual predator make. A penis on a child accompanied by a parent does not not a sexual predator make.

It's hysterical.

And really using the disabled toilet is no answer. You actually want disabled people to wait for the only toilet because some MNers view their girls too delicate to share a room that contains several lockable cubical toilets with an accompanied 12/13 year old boy.

Insane and entitled.

Insane and entitled

The only thing that is entitled on this thread is the mothers taking males into a female space

My 12/13 year old wouldn't be in town on his own.

The same accompanied boys you won't send your sons in with in the men's?

Many dads in their with their kids too.

And the gents contain cubicles.

So why are YOUR sons being protected and OUR daughters being "too delicate".

Misogynistic bullshit

A 13 year old with his mum is odd but wouldn’t offend me

Why not Fox?

Clearly boys are a problem on their own. A problem with their dad.

And the ladies loos and mum's have some kind of magical powers that strips them of the danger they would be of they were three feet through the wall to the left.

The only thing that is entitled on this thread is the mothers taking males into a female space
This x100

Oh dear Timmy. You need the bathroom? Ooh no. Don't go in thr mens. It mighy be full of nasty evil men and it's very dangerous. Come with mummy to the ladies. Don't worry about how other women and girls feel because you're just so scrumptious. If anyone has an issue then I'll just hysterically ask why they think my beautiful baby boy is a predator rather than apply common sense. Really if they think anything bad about you then it reflects on them. Remember darling if at any point you don't want to use the mens because I've talked about it like a scary place full of predators then you just use thr ladiea toilet or the accessible one because it doesn't matter about women, girls or those with additional needs. What matters is that my darling 13 year old baby grows up knowing he can access any space he wants.

Aka. Women shouldn't get annoyed at men being in their space because having a penis doesn't make someone a predator... but teen boys can't use the mens bevause people with a penis might be a predator?

So women abd girls should put up and shut up and anyone who doesn't fancy the mens should just use the ladies.
Ok. That makes perfect sense.