To think a 13 year old boy shouldn't use the ladies loo?

[NameChangeLulu]

NC for this. Recently I was in a situation where a group of people I was in went to a service station. A boy of 13 was told by his mother to come into the ladies with her rather than use the gents as it was safer.

AIBU to think that’s not OK?

I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. I think a boy of 13 can use the men’s toilets by himself.

Not long ago there was a boy of around 13/14 in the ladies changing rooms at the gym/swimming pool. There are very few changing cubicles and I felt very uncomfortable with him being in there. I think by this age it is safe and appropriate to use the men’s toilets and changing rooms.

Well that's when it falls apart because in coughing for their sons not being a threat and the women being hysterical, and that teenage boys aren't all rapists, they apparently don't feel safe around other peoples teenage sons

Vouching

Ok. For those whose hypocrisy has clouded their views...
I am quite aware of patriarch thanks
How many women on here will go to bed tonight (or whenever) and have sex with a man? Most of you.
Why are 13 yr old BOYS viewed as dangerous when those boys will gro up to be someone's DH-Just like yours?
In the home if you are married with daughters...her safe is not safe from men.
And in light of the criticism of my comments about false rape allegations as 'this doesnt happen', why on the other thread about what you would do if your partner was accused of rape, said so many women say they wouldnt leave without evidence...as women never lie right? So those women saying that are rape apologists.
I am educating my sons. Every event in the news. When harrassment is on TV, about sex education. Do not criticise me for standing up and worrying about my sons, when so many of you actively have happy relationships with men. Or are your husbands 'not like that'?

Sorry for typos.

Well by that argument value why are you worried about sending your son into the mens toilet? I send my sons in precisely because I think they are likely to be safe there. Obviously I'd prefer to know they are 100% safe at all times - playing out, in the park, at school, at the skate park with their mates - but the sad reality is nothing in life is 100% safe and I cant tie myself to them til they're 18.

How many women on here will go to bed tonight (or whenever) and have sex with a man? Most of you

Do you understand how consent works?

If I have sex with my partner tonight he isn't a rapist. If my partner tried to force me to have sex with him after I said no, he would be a rapist.

Nothing is more damaging when trying to educate about sexual assault/harrassment than NAMALT

Value-if you think men never pose a risk, why do you think boys shouldn't use the men's loo?

And also, do you really think that sexual violence and sexual harassment is a figment of women's imaginations?

And surely the women's is full of people waiting to make a false claim? Boys are better off avoiding the risk and using the men's no?

If all men are absolute lambs, valuerange, what's the issue in sending boys into the mens' loos then?

How many women on here will go to bed tonight (or whenever) and have sex with a man? Most of you.

My choosing to have sex with a particular man does not give any other male the right to be in a female only space.

It just gets dafter and dafter....women and girls are not allowed to have valid concerns/fears about the threat men/boys pose...they only become valid if the concern is for the safety of women's MALE children

Yy sens

Thing is boys/men alot of the time "aren't like that" til they are.

And every single man/boy whoever did something wrong was someones son/husband/boyfriend/uncle etc and their families probably said the exact same things about them.

Many many things gonon right under people's noses so this "mummy is right there" means nothing.

I'd like to know exactly how many boys get assaulted in the toilets. I suspect it's pretty rare, that's why when it does happen it's making headlines. TBH I'd think he's in more danger of assault at school with other boys he knows, than in a busy public toilet.

As an aside to the argument, I don't agree that because we educate our boys to treat girl's with respect they will not rape. Rape is rarely about lack of education, it's about power. Any boy/man can become a rapist regardless of their up-bringing. Luckily, most men don't.

I would think that bringing your boy up to expect to not be assaulted in a toilet will teach him that it's not normal. Teaching him that it's likely to happen and he should avoid being alone with other males is giving the wrong message. Just as women are told they should expect to be raped if they walk at night alone. It's wrong. We should be able to expect to be safe wherever and whatever we do.

mummy is right there" means nothing. it also means nothing because she isn't , she won't be in the cubicle with him preventing him from peering under the side panel at the female next to him or if she's in a cubicle herself I doubt she takes him in with her so no there is no supervision.

I never said my son would not be safe in mens toilets. I never said he would be assaulted or i was scared of that. Where have I said that? Read my posts.
Of course now your husbands are mentioned it becomes a response of 'they aren't all like that'.
Baroness if you have a daughter does she have a 'safe space' when the man you choose to have a relationship is there?
They arent all lambs giles. Equally they aren't all predators.
My son has only ever used the mens. Your comments are ridiculous. I actually feel sorry for your sons (but your lovers are fine because you are attracted to them )
Whilst feminism is a perspective some women pick and choose the bits that suit them. Example: sexual assault et al of females is a problem. IT IS. It is widespread. ALSO TRUE. The process of reporting rape and getting a conviction is shit. I KNOW. I dont condone any of the above. It is awful. I argue that the above arguments have some basis but are hysterical in portraying all boys as a risk to all girls. If this is true then all men are a risk to all women but you still choose to live with/have relationships with one.
Bertrand i never said that my son was in danger from going in the mens. That was someone else.

valuer, are you talking to me? If so, I wasn't addressing you with my comment I was addressing the thread in general in response to the OP.

No Fresta not you

Who said that they were all predetors.

And even if there were no evil people on the planet at all the toilets would still be men and women's and neither should be in the wrong one

Men and women have the right to pee and use a rest room discretely without having to worry about members of the opposite sex coming in.

You at angry at the wrong people. Don't be anyway women who want their Dds to be able to comfortably use a women's toilet.

Be angry at the few men who made someone feel uncomfortable around ken they don't know. And be angry at the funding cuts and the lack of staff and police etc that mean that so many of these men's loos full of your teenage children who apparently are fine but you won't let your kids pee around.

Why on earth is it the woman's problem for being uncomfortable and not the men's/boys for being where they shouldn't be.

The only people to blame for any unfairness you feel is happening towards your male children are other MEN.

Didnt say the women have the problem it is natural to want to be comfortable. Just dont like boys to be blamed for that. They are children. Yes Giles. The blame is on other men but that is what many women fail to grasp.
I gave birth after leaving a dv partner and was put in a ward with 3 other men post c section and i couldnt move. I was frightened. I complained but the midwives said thats what women wanted.
That is where i argue women need to feel safe.
Abuse by men is statistically higher for men in the home than any other place. So whilst I get the argument here-i do-i just said it wouldnt bother ME. I didnt ever say other womens feelings are problematic.
I dont speak for other women but i sure as hell will speak up for my sons.

But no one is attacking your sons.

But either men are allowed somewhere or they aren't.

You cant have "no man except Xs kids" cis shes upset her sons share biology with reasons behind somone else's trauma.

Dd doesn't know your ds from Adam tgeybwill probabky never meet. She diesntbwantbto change it share toilets with boys though despite never being assaulted or anything.

It's not personal.

I wouldn't be taking offence if you told dd to piss off out the men's either. She shouldn't be there regardless of the fact she's harmless m

"i sure as hell will speak up for my sons."

Me too.

I'm not taking it personally. It isnt about the toilet per se.
I have seen first hand the damage men can do.
It is depressing as fuck that because of that, we are becoming scared of boys.

"we are becoming scared of boys"

Who's scared of boys?

I’m not scared of boys, but I still think privacy and dignity are important. I do not want to share my female only spaces with males old enough to use their own.