To think a 13 year old boy shouldn't use the ladies loo?

[NameChangeLulu]

NC for this. Recently I was in a situation where a group of people I was in went to a service station. A boy of 13 was told by his mother to come into the ladies with her rather than use the gents as it was safer.

AIBU to think that’s not OK?

Perhaps you need to channel your anger into a focus which is not 13 year old boys but the ways we can educate both boys and girls to be confortable with each other

I 100% will NOT 'teach' my dds to be 'comfortable' with 13 yo boys, until boys can learn to fucking STOP sexually harrassing and tormenting them. Yeuck

I've told my dds that they should pretty much ignore boys until they start to grow up, which isn't until they are at least 18 in most cases

I do sympathise with men about male toilets. They do attract undesirables - from those who have less than salubrious toilet habits to those who are perverts. I rang the council about the local toilets as when I was waiting to go into the village hall I saw a veritable parade of men going in - as in they were waiting in cars and when one went in, another followed. Grim. The council person breezily dismissed this with, "Oh, they move to the conker field in the better weather."

A motorway service station, though, is busy enough to deter undesirables and at 13 it is definitely appropriate to use the gender appropriate toilets.

SN is a difficult one. SN does not mean no puberty or no interest in the opposite sex, by any means. Woman I know told me she took one of her SN charges into the ladies' toilets and upon investigation found him fishing in the sanitary towel bin . If a person needs accompanying and the carer is of the opposite sex, then they should go in the disabled loo.

If a mother thinks the men's toilets is unsafe for a son to go in alone, then she should accompanying him into the male toilets

That's mean, Sensimilla. That's 50% of the population you're writing off, as well as raising girls to be quite silly about boys instead of viewing them as - well, normal .

I can't believe how this thread has descended.

valuerange your post is utter nonsense. PPs have said why very clearly. The whole system, the whole of every system, is rigged in favour of me and against women. It's called the patriarchy, it's an actual thing, google it.

Back to the OP's thread, if a 13 yo boy has SN isn't he entitled as of right to use the disabled?

Perhaps you need to channel your anger into a focus which is not 13 year old boys but the ways we can educate both boys and girls to be confortable with each other

Maybe we could be encouraging our boys to direct THEIR anger at the catastrophic number of males who by their appalling treatment of women are creating situations that inadvertently damage their peers.

Imagine a utopia where a woman was never sexually harassed or assaulted.

It's not me making them 'silly' about boys...it's treatment that they receive from boys....and grown men actually.

My 12 year old matured early and gets harrassed in the street by teenagers and men

An extreme example I know, but my 6 year old has PTSD after being bullied and sexually abused by classmates

I don't think veiwing a lot of typical teenage boy behaviour around sex as "normal" is very helpful actually - and i say that as a mother of sons. If I had daughters I certainly wouldn't be espousing it as normal either.

Boys/men treating women and girls with courtesy and respect should be normal but it isn't, sadly. That's not great for boys/men by any means but girls/women come off worse.

That was to lady

Mums can accompany their boys into the men's toilet, if they are worried about them

I am starting a thread about mums accompanying sons into the men's toilets

I don't think mum's should go in the men's either that's not fair for the men they should get their privacy too.

However a thread with details on who to contact, maybe laws regarding usage or structual necessities, or possibly the responsibility of the premesis management etc

That would be useful.

No toilets should be unsafe dirty or used for shooting up and sex etc

I agree. But then I cant fathom a 14 year old needing escorting to the toilet.

However, if escorting is needed, why can't we make the men uncomfortable, but it's ok to make the women/girls uncomfortable?

Gileswithachainsaw I agree with you but it would be interesting to see how many respond saying you can't do that just take them in the ladies

Neither is ok.

No boys and men in women's and no women in the men's.

Oh and if somewhere locks the disabled loo then the person with the key should A) be available at all times

And B) receive some form of training or something as this nonsense only allowing people in wheelchairs and visible disabilities in needs to stop.

No NT teenager beexs supervising in a loo. If they have autism or whatevee and cabt go on alone of course the disabled loo is appropriate and the key holder should know this

The ladies really needs to stop being the solution to all the problems.

Building management and authorities should be responsible for keeping them clean and safe.

Men have urinals. You can't have women and girls wandering in and seeing... that !! Dh and ds hate urinals even though they're men, but then they worry that if they go in a cubicle the men who've used those have been pooing . It's all too hideous! Perhaps science will invent some sort of Immodium implant for humans so there's no need for public toilets in the future.

According to my household of men what you see when men are using urinals is mostly a row of backs. There is a strict ettiquette about choosing the urinal furthest from another patron and one looks straight ahead not left or right (small boys are allowed to look down to see where they are aiming and are ok to stand next to their dad/brother/friend).

To see what penises?

Totally on board with ladies not in the gents and vice versa but seeing a cock really isn’t going to concern me too much in that context.

But there wouldn't be girls and women 'wandering about'; it would be the worried mum, escorting her son. Eyes down I presume. She wouldn't have to see any penii

Because when you start doing that these loos no longer remain men and women's.

Now eventually those kids get older and are able to go alone. The druggies will move on to the next patch and hopefully the perverts arrested or the toilets closed down and built on.

But at that point it doesn't matter. All those uncomfortable with the intrusion of people who don't belong there have just stopped using the premesis.

And none of it dies anythung to solve the issues it just moves the issues to the other toilet

@Sensimilla is Penii the plural? I never know if it should be or not veers off the point

I agree with what you are saying Giles; I am just trying to get those who think it's ok to take boys into the ladies to think of it this way round. If it has to be one way or the other, I would rather the over protective mothers be in the men's toilets averting their eyes though