This issue for me isn't really about age or gender, the ladies whose daughter was harassed in a changing room by a teenager wasn't scared because he was a boy or even because he was 13/14, she was scared because he was being an asshole and the mother was being one as well by just writing it off as "oh he has ASD" without trying to explain to him that in a shared space he had to respect certain rules.
The truth is we should all be able to use facilities like toilets, changing rooms etc without fear of threatening behaviour or being intimidated but we can't because of some people's actions and behaviour, it's not gender specific some women are just as vile as some men. It's also a simple fact that whatever you do it will offend someone. I have lots of health issues including incontinence. My kids are 15, 8 and 6, two have documented complex special needs and incontinence issues, the third is still regularly put into pull ups if we are going to be out for a while, because when she needs to go she needs to go NOW and she struggles with undressing, cleaning herself or remembering it's not really appropriate to walk out of a public toilet with your knickers around your ankles. Sometimes they aren't there for their reasons they are there for mine, they are parked by a wall out of the way, threatened with some ridiculous punishment if they mess around where I can hear they are safe and not wandering into something dangerous because I need to clean up. They don't have a choice and neither do I because even though I am not a single parent I am usually forced to be out alone with them due to husbands work hours.
We have been scowled at, sworn at and tutted at for using the men's both when I have stood outside waiting for the middle one or when sending the big one with the middle one when neither one can undress or clean themselves properly. We have had the same for using the women's with the 8 year old, although on one memorable visit someone told me I shouldn't be in the cubicle with my daughter because it was "creepy" she was 3 or 4 at the time, I didn't feel like explaining it was me that needed the toilet not her and I could hardly let her roam free. The other one people are odd about is standing outside the cubicle door holding it shut from the outside for some reason it's deemed "lurking" rather than stopping my monster locking themselves in and being able to help them maintain some decency while they go through yet another "I Can Do It Myself" phase when they can't. We have less issues with using the baby changing room although there have still been many and very few of them have an actual toilet inside. As for the disabled toilet it's a different ball game because people assume we are being lazy/thoughtless and I can't actually wear a sign around my neck saying "I HAVE A RADAR KEY AND I NEED THE HANDRAILS" or explain that actually my 8 year old has shit up his back and I need the space to clean and change him.
Right now my best solution is to try my best and be mindful of everyone's various feelings and just keep the trips to whatever toilet we need to use to as quickly as possible and feeling like I will probably spend my whole life apologising for neither them nor me being "normal" We are not trying to embarass anyone, intimidate anyone, just use the facilities, clean up and go about our business.