To think a 13 year old boy shouldn't use the ladies loo?

[NameChangeLulu]

NC for this. Recently I was in a situation where a group of people I was in went to a service station. A boy of 13 was told by his mother to come into the ladies with her rather than use the gents as it was safer.

AIBU to think that’s not OK?

"I think he uses the ladies when he's out alone"

He's 18!

Sorry, ignore previous, I must've missed something, will reread the thread.

It's extraordinary how little people care about the comfort and convenience of girls.........

However if you could find me a study and/or research paper that spoke about those issues while the children were with their parent (at least the boys were) that would be grand.

If you'd RTFT, you'd have seen accounts of this right here, of damage done when these boys' mums were present.

Extraordinary, but unsurprising, Bertrand. What I find baffling is the idea that any parent of sons would want to teach their own son to grow up with so little regard for women's needs and feelings.

Or the safety and well being of little boys

sailorcherries your son is only 7 currently so not a problem however when you start talking about 13yo it is different and I think it is quite safe to say they are not in the parents view 100% of the time. You can't guarantee that they won't look under the wall at the person next to them. If the mother is in a cubicle herself he could well be harassing a girl by the sinks. I've no reason to think your ds would do anything like that but the more older boys are in the ladies the more chance of something happening

A 13 year old isn't "little", doodle.

First google to come up there are many try it

Brighton and Hove news

Boy, 14, raped in toilet at the King Alfred in Hove

A 14-year-old boy was raped at the King Alfred Leisure Centre on Hove seafront, Sussex Police said today (Friday 3 February).

A 47-year-old man from Rottingdean was arrested during the week, charged with the rape and brought before a court.

Bertrand I do care, but not above the safety of my own child.

There have been so many posts on here where women have spoken about the issues male children they know have faced in mens toilets, when at a vulnerable age. These posts have basically gone ignored for the war cry of "girls will be uncomfortable".

Then there was the genuis who decided that instead of having a boy in the female loo the mother and son should go to the mens. There are already many threads about how dangerous it is to have a man in a female dominated space yet this person didn't care about a woman in a male dominated space as long as it meant a child with a penis was not in hers.

As for Aquas scenario. The mother of the boy couldn't allow the boy to change alone. Therefore either the boy came with her; they never attended there again; or the mother should change in the mens because, despite her not being safe, it wouldn't affect your child. It waa unfortunate what happened to your daughter but unless there is a thorough overhaul of facilities where more floor to ceiling, lockable facilities are provided it can be a rock and a hard place for some.

At the end of the day I will do what I feel is necessary to keep my child safe and that's all that really matters to me.

I took DD aged 10 into the ladies at the cinema a few weeks ago and there was a man in there.
I got a bit confused and said did I go into the wrong toilet.
He said that he was with his neice because she had refused to go I to the gents with him.
When she came out of the cubicle she looked to be about 6, no apparent SN. Basically old enough to go the toilet by herself.
I didn't care really, myself and the man had a chat about how much nicer the ladies was etc but I'm sure there are plenty of women who would have given him an earful.

Hove Crown Court heard the child was too scared to cry out and fight back during the 10 minute assault.
Afterwards the boy went home with his mother before confiding in his friends and his aunt and calling police.

Read more: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4725722/Harley-Street-therapist-raped-child-gym.html#ixzz4ybgeS4bd
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Archery I've seen one or two on this thread. I've seen many more where boys are the victims.

"Or the safety and well being of little boys"

I care very much about the safety and well being of little boys, bigger boys and men.

I do not think their safety and well being is served by a) insisting that they use women's loos over the age of about 7/8 or b) teaching them that their comfort and convenience trumps that of women and girls.

Manchester eve post

Two men are facing lengthy jail sentences after being found guilty of raping a boy in the toilets at Debenhams.

Really ?

Puts the could he fight them off in doubt

Unless females are walking around naked and not in a cubicle, I really see no issue

sailorcherries I do agree there is a problem I just don't think taking older boys into the ladies is the right solution.

Nobody is saying that men and boys aren't at risk from other men (and boys), doodle.

But say we all say, OK, mens toilets are awful, any vulnerable male (boy or man) can use the ladies! Come on in! Then the ladies.... isn't the ladies any more. And is no more safe than the mens'.

Women have been raped in women's toilets by men who have gone in to attack them, and it's really really important that women are allowed to name and identify potential threats to them in vulnerable places.

The answer here is to make men's toilets safe. Whether that is attendants, or changing the architecture so that they are more like the individual cubicles, or whatever (although those still have problems), it needs to happen. But the price of that cannot be to render the women's loos unsafe too.

Why are women and girls always expected to pay the price of solving what men to to other men and boys?

These posts have basically gone ignored for the war cry of "girls will be uncomfortable".

We are talking about teenage boys, here, not seven-year-olds. We aren't just talking about women and girls being "uncomfortable" (though I think women and girls' comfort is important), we are talking about women and girls whose past experience has led them to credibly believe that they are actively unsafe when a man or teenage boy is in a place designated women-only. That credible belief (because it is sadly all too credible) leads to those women and girls being excluded from those womens facilities altogether, because the teenage boy's need is held to be greater.

Where is the fairness in that?

But Archery we are not talking about men, we are talking about children.

Baroness I will take my child with me until I think he can either use the accessible loo and wait alone or use the mens safely. What age that happens at depends on where we are and who we arw with. It will not be a magic cut off point.

Surely a better use of our time would be to campaign for floor to ceiling lockable toilets/changing rooms as opppsed to arguing over when a child is too old to use the ladies, who gets to use x/y/z? The former makes everyone safer.

Independent

he 16-year-old was "touched" inappropriately in the toilets in Newbury, according to police, by a man described as white, aged between 50 and 60, with a slim build, short grey hair and stubble. He was wearing a blue fleece jacket and grey suit trousers.

@Mumof56 until they were 18?!?!?!?!?!

Bonkers.

The sooner we have mixed gender lavatories the sooner this ridiculous business of boys being 2nd class citizens will stop.

Evening Standard

A 15-year-old boy was sexually assaulted by a man in a public toilet in east London.
Thames Valley Police are seeking information about the incident which happened at around 12.40pm on Saturday 12 March in the toilets on Pembrook Road, behind a WH Smith store.