To think a 13 year old boy shouldn't use the ladies loo?

[NameChangeLulu]

NC for this. Recently I was in a situation where a group of people I was in went to a service station. A boy of 13 was told by his mother to come into the ladies with her rather than use the gents as it was safer.

AIBU to think that’s not OK?

If my child being safe is not your concern then your child feeling safe is not mine

Yep, this pretty much sums it up for me tbh

HousefulOfBoys then how old do your boys have to be before they are allowed to go into a toilet by themselves?

And do you really want your boys to grow up to be the kind of men who don't give a shit about the privacy and safety of women and girls? Because that's what you are teaching them.

What harm did it do.........really? He's 13 not 30!

Presumably all these people who's bus and train stations are so unsafe for their teenage children drive their kids to school?

They aren't drinking red bull and peeing at said stations five days a week waiting for their bus/train to school?

So what age do you think a NT boy should stop going into a woman's toilet area? 14, 15, 16, 17, 18?

@doodle01 Service stations are risky anyone could be 30 miles away before police get there.

Erm...I think the strange man dragging a kicking and screaming 13 year old boy out of the loo may arise some questions before it got to that stage.

Also- assuming I’m driving at 70mph would take someone 15 mins to cover 30 Miles... do not an instant thing. are you my family member?!

I regularly go to Service Station loos and have never felt unsafe. They are perfectly fine.

@NellysKnickers if you had read the thread, you will see more than one post from people who have concrete evidence that the presence of teenage boys in spaces reserved for girls and women ends up restricting the ability of some girls and women to use those facilities at all.

It's a women's loo, not a teenage boys' loo.

red bull and peeing my son wouldnt go in alone Probably not.
Would you like your 13 year old daughter to go into a male toilet alone ?

She wouldn't. What with being female and it not being the correct toilet.

But when she goes to secondary she will be on her own there's nothing I can do about that. I can't be in too places at onve in case she needs to pee

Ok the issue is the mother who wanted her son to go into the girls loo not the boy

Would you like your 13 year old daughter to go into a male toilet alone?

Are you actually trying to use that as an analogy......?

Dont forget if he doesnt come out in time what is she supposed to do

I️ really think the disabled toilets are for people who are physically disabled or have colitis... My ds doesn’t look or speak to anyone in the ladies. How can him being male being accompanied by me, make anyone feel unsafe? I’ve been raped and sexually assaulted as a child and don’t find men using a toilet scary.

How can him being male being accompanied by me, make anyone feel unsafe?

That's not your call to make, mrsBeverleyGoldberg All you need to know is that it does make some women and girls feel unsafe, and that there is evidence on this thread that it means some girls are prevented from using the facilities at all.

And I am sorry for your own experience, but just because you feel one way about it does not mean that everyone else with similar experiences will - or should - feel the same. People have very different reactions to trauma, and none of them are right or wrong.

@mrsBeverleyGoldberg they are for people who need the extra space or support, like my Nan with Alzheimer’s who needs instructions and you can’t fit two people into a standard cubicle.

There are cubicles, no teenage girls body parts will have been exposed to any teenage boys. It's not as if a boy has been in the changing room with the girls.

Disabled toilets are for anyone who due to the nature of their disability is unable to access to “normal” toilets. If someone needs assistance to go to the toilet then they should use the disabled toilet rather than using the “wrong” toilet.

As I said before I think if nothing else it is very undignified for the person with the additional needs.

I️ really think the disabled toilets are for people who are physically disabled or have colitis...

You don't believe your son is entitled to use the disabled but you do believe he's entitled to use the ladies

But nelly

If someone doesn't want their ds in the men's loos for all of two mins then presumably a make changing room.where they spend far longer and theres nudity would be more of a problem?

And Archery you will also see more than one post where a poster speaks about her own child or a male child she is aware of being abused, assaulted, intimidated etc.

Essentially the safety of children with penises is not as important than the feelings of children with vaginas.

And women who have sons are perfectly safe being in the mens to accompany them, where they are greatly outnumbered, but women individually and/or with daughters are not safe having a man (boy) in a sapce space where women outnumber men.

Glad we cleared that up!

@NellysKnickers but that's not your call to make. Just because you don't think it's a problem for you, doesn't mean it isn't already a problem for other women and girls. Now maybe you don't care about them, but they exist anyway, and they should have the right not to be excluded from a facility that is designated for them , just because some parents think teenage boys - for whom those facilities are not designated - should be able to use them.

*safe space

sailorcherries what age would you deem it inappropriate for a male to enter a designated female space?

Baroness I've already answered, at least twice.

@ArcheryAnnie. A 13 year old boy is a child. I just don't get where this angst is coming from. As an aside my 12 year old would rather die than come in the ladies loo but my point is that I would not mind at all if I went in the ladies and stood next to a 13 year old boy, with his mum, at the sink whilst washing our hands.