To think a 13 year old boy shouldn't use the ladies loo?

[NameChangeLulu]

NC for this. Recently I was in a situation where a group of people I was in went to a service station. A boy of 13 was told by his mother to come into the ladies with her rather than use the gents as it was safer.

AIBU to think that’s not OK?

Surely at 13 he is going out on his own/with mates so what does he do then if he needs the loo?

On the plus side eve all those boys will start using the men's. They will be much safer once all the pervs start using the women's

Archeryannie but how does it actually affect you? U are u then unable to use the toilet? No, ppl choose whether this will affect them. Toilets have cubicles to provide privacy & there is no age limit on using these toilets. All different ages are acceptable as shown on here & itjust seems silly to make all this fuss because the mother did not feel comfortable letting her son use the mens on his own. No one on here knows why the mum felt like this but its her choice to decide, there could be history of abuse or the child may be impaired, disabled or have another issue. Its all just speculation & judgement, let ppl be, he is a minor with his mum in the girls toilets! When i was at little school the toilets wer unisex! Let children be children.

No, ppl choose whether this will affect them

So "ppl"(sic) who have been assaulted, or have been in a situation such as a PP's who has daughters afraid to use the public loo should just stop letting this affect them.

Come ON women you're letting the side down, just choose NOT to let any of these issues affect you. You sillies.

@Pru24

Read the thread FFS.

No SN
No abuse
Reason for not using the men’s- because it’s unsafe (her words)

Archeryannie but how does it actually affect you? U are u then unable to use the toilet?

pru if there's a large male in the women's loos then I, and plenty of other women and girls, will feel unsafe, not because we are scaredy-cats but because we know that women can be very vulnerable when trapped in places with strange men. There have been a number of posters giving concrete examples of their daughters who have stopped entirely using facilities (toilets, going swimming, going to the gym) because there are teenage boys in there with their mums in women-only spaces such as toilets and changing rooms.

but its her choice to decide, there could be history of abuse or the child may be impaired, disabled or have another issue

Then they need to use the accessible loo, not the women's loo. There are also girls and women with histories of abuse, disability, etc, and their needs should be taken into account, too. It's not the mother's right to make the women's loo inaccessible for other women and girls.

Let children be children

An eight year old is one thing. But a fifteen year old is also a minor. Shall I take my towering, moustachio'd teenage son into the ladies with me, too?

Lils888, more than likely a girl wouldn't have upset her the way the boy did. She wasn't expecting a boy in the ladies. He was right in her face when she opened the door and gave her one hell of a shock. She's 5ft 8 but this boy was taller. So yes it is specific

Thinking about it to even from a special needs POV I don’t think taking a 13 year old into the toilet for the opposite sex is fair or respectful for them. Even if their additional needs don’t allow them to realise it they are still entitled to dignity so if they can’t access the toilets normally then they should be using the disabled toilets.

Can’t recall who asked but the Mum said to the boy ‘no come to the ladies with me, it’s safer’ at the time

That comment, "it's safer" makes me think that something may have happened to which you are not aware of. The fact you are family does not mean you are privy to all conversations/things/events which happen. A teenage member of our family was assaulted. Only their parents, myself and their auntie are aware. Despite the Police being involved. No body else in the family has an inkling of what went on.

I do hear what you are saying @JonSnowsWife but I am very confident that nothing of that Ilk has happened (luckily!)

There is form for mollycoddling between the boy and his mother so my assumption of ‘safer’ is due to that than any other trauma reason.

JonSnowsWife If for whatever reason a 13yo is unable to access their own sex toilets then it's more appropriate to use accessible ones than women's

No a 13 year old boy should not use the female loos really.

@BarronessEllaSaturday please read my post again. Nowhere have I advocated otherwise. I simply had a short conversation with the OP that there might have been an issue to which they are not aware of. I didn't make comment either way on anything else

He's just a kid why not.

My 2 are 11 and 9 and have flat refused to use the ladies’ toilets with me for years.

Fought off a grown man erm - is that the criteria for risk assessment !! Sorry that daft listen to what your saying. Assuming he doesnt freeze or be throttled.
MENS Toilets can be dodgy places no doubt.
Guess most women dont know that.
I wouldnt want my 13 year old going in alone you just dont know.

A 13 year old is not just a kid.

He's just a kid why not.

So what age would you think it is inappropriate, you could say the same about a 15yo or how about 17yo. Is it just toilets or also open plan changing rooms?

If my child being safe is not your concern then your child feeling safe is not mine

Yep, this pretty much sums it up for me tbh.

Yes they are little 13 year old boys are children. They sometimes are not big. Sometimes tiny. Certainly as vulnerable as a 13 year old little girl.
I know its not nice to have a male child in the female toilets but its not the end of the world.

I had a friend around that age who was dragged into a changing cubicle in one of the old pool side changing rooms Victorian baths he was rescued by his friends who saw what happened and kicked door open.

Unfortunately, male toilets do attract some weirdos. They have compartments where nothing can be seen. Police dont go there as it smacks of homophobia and policing 'cottages' went out ofthe window 20 years ago.

My son and friend had weirdo talking to them wehn aged about 11 in a major shopping centre I was foolishly waiting outside

Service stations are risky anyone could be 30 miles away before police get there.

Oh, of course a NT 13 year old boy shouldn't be in the women's loo. Don't be silly.

"Service stations are risky anyone could be 30 miles away before police get there."

How many times has this happened? No need to be exact- the nearest round figure will do.

I wouldnt want my 13 year old going in alone you just dont know

i do know that a 13 year old male should not be in the female loos