To not notice I was being excluded!

[Mrbluethecatt]

I work with 4 other women all of which are at least 10 years older and have worked together for a long time. Initially when I started 6 months ago I was invited to go out for lunch or coffee. This then petered out. I wasn't that bothered as we have little in common and have different ideas and opinions.

I have noticed that they often go out for lunch and coffee, met up at weekends etc and often discuss these occasions at work. I do join in if they are talking about work or TV like bake off so I don't just ignore them.

I've been getting growlers and looks over the last few weeks which I have been ignoring. This has escalated to tuts and huffs if I speak to them. I asked one of them if there was a problem, she said there wasn't.

I've had a email this afternoon from my manager wanting all of us to meet tomorrow to discuss what's being going on over the last 6 months. My response was what do you mean? What has been going on? My manager then forwarded me an email he received from one of the women essentially saying that I have been distant and haven't been actively sociable with them. Haven't invited them to my home, to meet my family etc. So on the back of this they have been excluding me from their activities and Facebook group. They are upset I haven't noticed and have therefore caused an atmosphere at work.

Aibu to....well I don't know. What do I do now?

How extremely weird! Excluded you because you haven't yet invited them back to yours? Wtaf? I'm genuinely gobsmacked.

They wont get it though will they? They will be highly offended and upset at being told they are the bullies and not the victims.

The fact that they have put it in writing just how badly they are treating her, shows just how much they think that they are being perfectly reasonable.

The fact that the manager hasnt considered anything other than telling the OP she needs to sort this out shows how little conrol he has. As I said above, the tail wagging the dog.

As an aside, if this is how they behave at work can you imagine being a member of one of their "home families" who says that they dont want to do something or want to change the Xmas arrangements?! :o

You’ve worked bloody hard to get where you are blue don’t write off the job just renegotiate your work environment

Your department is utterly bonkers. I've never heard of anything so ridiculous. No way is there a requirement to socialise - although one year, we did have an email that said unless we had a valid reason could we all attend the department Christmas do. Not wanting to go wasn't a valid reason. I did have a valid reason but was annoyed at the enforced "fun" (bowling if my memory serves).

Is there a different team you can transfer to, rather than leave altogether?

Oh dear OK. Sorry to hear this bizarre behaviour has upset you so much. Have to admit I was following this thread hoping for a brilliant take-down of these idiots which would turn everything around so they were all permanently on the tea fun for you for ever more.
I think you should try and stay in the job if you like it? Or at least do it from home if you prefer? I would think they'll pretty much offer you anything right now to ensure you don't proceed with a constructive dismissal case against them! You may as well have a think about what your terms would be...

Utterly batshit!!

😯

Whaon

The OP has already said she is in planning on this thread. Just because she isnt working as a medical doctor doesnt mean that she isnt one, she is whether she is in a hospital job or sweeping the streets. She isnt a practising doctor which is a different thing.

And depending on her specialism, why would the OP know the ins and outs of food safety?! Never seen a GP use a search engine in surgery?

If you dont think its true then report, troll hunting is against the rules.

whatonearth19 I trained as a doctor while in the army and was injured. I worked at a hospital in Scotland for a while while doing my planning masters. I worked as a planner for a LA and in private while doing my double PhD in two related fields.

And the yogurt posts that was Dsis who started posting using my tablet. She is now on here with her own name.

I'm in my late 30s so I have had plenty of time to have different jobs.

But please report me if you don't believe me.

I agree food safety is pretty specific and myths tend to stick around longer and are harder to shift. I still have a gran that washes chicken despite her having done food safety for her hospital catering job!

One of my Drs argued the toss that asthma was an allergic reaction and not an illness in its own right, finally conceded when he checked the internet. I'd definitely not ask him about food safety

Yeah, I know at least two practising doctors who would have to google food safety rules when uncertain - one has a stomach like cast iron and the other does psychiatry.

Holy shit, they are mad.

(Totally placemarking but I am more or less speechless which, as anyone who knows me will tell you, is rather rare.)

It’s so funny op, you must have wound them up so much for this to happen. I’m really glad it’s pretty much sorted now. I really hope they get in trouble, workplace bullying is horrible !

Might it be an idea to get this thread removed OP? The women sound like they might be Mumsnetters (sorry everyone) and this might go against your claim of being professional.

not at all Penelope, the OP is unidentified as is her workplace.

🤔 not placemarking.

Woahhhhh. whatonearth19 has made a really good point.

OP, what's going on???

@PenelopeStoppit

Why would they be mumsnetters?

.ican the OP has answered those points.

I don’t see why OP’s previous threads don’t add up to here. The issue with a male colleague is from January. They’ve been in this role for 6 months. I know GPS and other nhs professionals that have shared their silly freak out stories with me since having kids as it can warp the mind.
Why can’t someone have been a doctor then change professions? Op was open about it early on.

No point in troll hunting here.