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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think suspending the teacher was extreme?

523 replies

LouBlue1507 · 14/11/2017 09:25

A maths teacher has been suspended, probably going to be sacked for accidently calling a trans child a girl whilst referring 'well done girls' to a small group of girls. He apologised for his mistake, but weeks later the parents complained.

I don't think he's helped himself by going to the press and 'This Morning' but for a class of pupils to lose a good teacher over this?

It's obvious that the majority of teachers need training on transgender, gender fluid etc. It's not fair that they are thrown in the deep end with no training what so ever. I bet most don't even know what half of it even means!

OP posts:
kua · 18/11/2017 18:46

Your belief stems from where?

From previous members of Mermaids who have shared their experiences on MN over the years and from Mermaids themselves advertising online private clinics. Google Dr Helen Webberley.

BatShite · 18/11/2017 18:57

Your belief stems from where?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3079707-AIBU-to-think-the-NHS-should-not-be-recommending-hysterectomy-to-young-girls?msgid=73442340

Mermaids leaflet. Along with as other posters have said, parents who have posted here about how they were treat by Mermaids (Mermaids staff once came onto a thread on here and doxxed a fucking member!) and their direction of parents to Helen Webberly (I don't even want to use Dr for her name, as I believe she has broken the 'do no harm' and should be sacked immediately)

Puzzledandpissedoff · 18/11/2017 19:27

Thank you for the information and links, BatShite

So in Mermaids we appear to have an organisation which, among much else, peddles suicide statistics based on a survey of 27 people, who advocate medicating children with life altering chemicals (is that even *legal^ for a 12 year old?) and ban anyone critical of child transition from meetings

I've tried to find where they get their funding from and it doesn't seem clear ... does anyone know, please?

PencilsInSpace · 18/11/2017 19:38

According to their latest accounts they received the following grants in 2016-17:

Children in Need - April 2016, £128K over 3 years
Leathersellers - May 2016, £40K over 4 years
Awards for All (lottery funding) - July 2016, £10K for 1 year
Department of Education - October 2016, £35K over 2.5 years

BatShite · 18/11/2017 19:39

So in Mermaids we appear to have an organisation which, among much else, peddles suicide statistics based on a survey of 27 people, who advocate medicating children with life altering chemicals (is that even legal^ for a 12 year old?) and ban anyone critical of child transition from meetings*

Yup. In a nutshell. And the NHS directs vulnerable kids/parents to this pressure group too. Its quite unbelievable really, but it is happening.

Not sure where they get their funding. The lottery gives them grants I think but theres got to be more than that.

BatShite · 18/11/2017 19:43

Children in fucking need are funding them? What on earth..so children in need are advocating child abuse and pressuring kids into sterilization and lifelong medical problems. fantastic.

BatShite · 18/11/2017 19:44

OK I am really feeling the need to email children in need now, how can they be so stupid? Surely they research the groups they give funding to?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 18/11/2017 19:49

Okay, so nobody has to give to Children in Need - or patronise Leathersellers - or play the lottery - but the DofE's contribution comes from money we have no choice about giving

It might be nice to think they'd reconsider the wisdom of backing something like this, but I worry they're probably in thrall to the transactivists as well Hmm

BatShite · 18/11/2017 19:51

Children in Need is on the whole a great cause though. I would not stop donating for the sake of one group they have chosen to direct funding at. I just cannot believe they would give funding to what is essentially a pressure group advocating giving chemo drugs to children. And falsifying suicide stats to do so.

kua · 18/11/2017 21:46

Thanks Pencils for Mermaids account to the Charity Commission. At first glance a couple of things have jumped out at me.

3.5 WTE salaries £35k !

Reliance on volunteers to man the help lines, no clarity to what training they have been given.

And why would you reference a private FB account? It comes off as very unprofessional to say the least.

Headofthehive55 · 18/11/2017 22:53

I think there is too much emphasis on gender.
Your biological sex is such a tiny part of you. Day to day it's largely irrelevant. No colours or clothes are off limits here, we are all individuals, unique.

chocolatecakeatmidnight · 18/11/2017 23:56

Datun I can believe all those 10 may have had sexual trauma. Very few of us didn't get fondled or flashed at or whatever when we were growing up. I only know afew women who havee never been sexually abused. I agree that all 10 of them are unlikely to be lesbian or autistic though.

Oliversmumsarmy · 19/11/2017 07:20

I am now totally confused.

I thought transsexual meant you had a male/female brain in a female/male body.

Although a rarity I have come seen a little boy who for as long as they could make it known has wished he had been born a girl.

From my limited knowledge I thought if you were a lesbian that meant you are a woman who was attracted to other women. But most definitely a woman. If you decided you wanted to change sex then you would not be a lesbian but transsexual as (not to be too graphic) how you wish to have sex is completely different.

sagamartha · 19/11/2017 07:58

How people wish to have sex has NOTHING to do with being transsexual. Transsexual is about the body and how your brain sees your body and the mismatch - and all the feelings generated around that.

Oliversmumsarmy · 19/11/2017 08:18

How people wish to have sex has NOTHING to do with being transsexual. Transsexual is about the body and how your brain sees your body and the mismatch - and all the feelings generated around that

In which case why are women who are lesbians think they are transsexual when they clearly identify as female up to the point of saying they are trans.

Why are men who have always identified as male suddenly decide they are trans.

As I said I do believe some people are born in the wrong body. Having seen the boy I knew growing up everyone around him knew he was a girl in a boys body. It was no surprise when he decided to live as a woman. It was a case of when he announced he was going to live as a woman everyone was happy he had finally worked it out.

Datun · 19/11/2017 08:40

Why are men who have always identified as male suddenly decide they are trans.

Because identifying as trans no longer means you have to have gender dysphoria.

Cross dressing fetishists have hijacked gender dysphoria as a means of legitimising their practice.

Just today there is a report in the times that shows sex offences are hugely over represented in the trans community in prison. 41%, as opposed to 17% of non trans inmates.

sagamartha · 19/11/2017 09:58

Why are men who have always identified as male suddenly decide they are trans

You don't suddenly decide you are trans. It's become much safer and acceptable to be trans, trans people are more visible, more accepted, much more is known about it and you realise what the fuck has been wrong with you for many years. There is a lot of shit going on in your head, a lot of internal mental battles, internalised transphobia and a massive fear over coming out.

Julie8008 · 19/11/2017 21:30

I am now totally confused

Me to. A while back we were told that men and women have exactly the same brain. Now it seems men and women have totally different brains and could possibly be stuck in the wrong anatomical body.

So hypothetically a young woman might be attracted to another woman and so decide they are lesbian. But later decide they are in fact a trans and so transition to man. Are they still a homosexual or have they become a heterosexual?

Italiangreyhound · 19/11/2017 22:04

Julie most likely they would say they are heterosexual because they love someone of the opposite gender. However some gay people (and others)are upset/angry/offended because this is a kind of gay conversion therapy

Late transitioning males may well be bi or pan sexual or simply continue to fancy women.

BoneyBackJefferson · 19/11/2017 22:05

An honest question

When a woman comes out as being attracted to the same sex she comes out as a lesbian.

When a man comes out as being attracted to the same sex he comes out as gay.

So why does a person that comes out as trans feel the need to be a woman or a man (prefix it with trans if you like), surely they are coming out as trans?

sagamartha · 19/11/2017 22:10

Maybe they're just a person who's come out as trans who is attracted to men or women?

BoneyBackJefferson · 19/11/2017 22:12

So are we further confusing, sex, gender and sexual attraction?

Italiangreyhound · 19/11/2017 22:18

Boney trans people would, generally (I think) look upon 'gender identity' and sexual orientation (or who you fancy) as two totally different things.

So famous trans man dad of two Trevor McDonald is on a relationship with a man, they both see themselves (I believe) as gay men.

Does that make sense?

BoneyBackJefferson · 19/11/2017 22:32

Italiangreyhound

thank you, you have (sort of) proved my point in that Trevor McDonald seems to be/is all three and they are essentially separate things.

So before we start changing all the rules and taking things off various people shouldn't we be finding out what exactly the trans community wants?

Julie8008 · 19/11/2017 22:44

So you could actually have a lesbian with a penis?