To ask how you'd respond to your FIL making an unannounced speech at your wedding?

[quickopinionsplease]

As per the title really

So there you are at your wedding breakfast, formal affair, it's speech time.

You all know the running order, you're all a bit nervous because you've been working on your speech.

And then in the middle of it all, FIL stands up to make a speech. You aren't sure what's going on.

He hasn't told you about this, hasn't checked if it's ok or run it past you.

How do you feel about this?

YWBU. I fee a little sad that it was so awkward for him.

Were you a bridezilla Op?

MIL got over excited/tipsy and made an impromptu speech in which she explained that she had put her name on the nicest favours and no one else should take them! I was a little and my DFs face was a picture (we have it on video) but it didn't spoil the day and she only embarassed herself. DH and I just laughed about it after as it is very much in character for her.

I wish my dad had made a speech at my brother's wedding: those of you talking about timings being interrupted and military precision have clearly never been to a Japanese wedding... Fob makes a speech, as does the bride (which basically thanks her parents for all their work in raising her) and the bosses of both bride and groom. Dad would have been a welcome relief after all that

Dancing happens in the tiny gap between one of the speeches and dessert, and after the final speech (over coffee) the moc thanks everyone for coming and reminds them to validate their parking

All the English guests thought it was a wind-up. It wasn't. The routine had been followed and the room needed to be vacated by 10pm (7 pm wedding)

I think it’s lovely.

With respect op, he should have been asked to speak on such an important day for his son, and you obviously. He then could wouldn’t ha e had to keep it a secret.

Wouldn’t have fgs

So he made a lovely speech, which he was desperate to do and was scared to ask you? I’d be more concerned about that tbh. I think he might have a point.

Sounds as if you have some very fixed ideas. This can make life in general pretty hard work.

I'd be annoyed that he didn't ask, not that he spoke per se.

Oh well, not the end of the world, worse things happen at sea

He said he didn't ask us about it in case we said no.

Hate twats who do this.

I'd have been livid tbh, he should have asked.
My fil would have been told that it was a traditional wedding with fob, and best man speeches.

It's absolutely amazing reading all the inferences about my character - talk about extrapolation!

Open mic style speech section at weddings are quite standard where I come from. Was surprised when I first attended weddings in this country how formal they are. Count yourself lucky OP at mine a distant relative recited a poem.... about unrequited love

My FIL tried to do this. We mumbled our consent and then forgot to hand him the mic, speeches over. He got in a right strop though, disappeared for hours (think him and his wife went to the pub. Classy)

I would thing it was rather sweet that he had wanted to do it. as it was the father of the groom. If it had been the father of the bride, in my case, I would have had to have questioned how he found out about the wedding, as we are NC!

Btw obv it's not unusual to have a FIL making a speech at a wedding, but he asked when the speeches were already underway which would have fucked up the timings and made us late for the event we had planned next. Also, he is a bit of a ballbag, and his speech would have been cringe from start to finish

My aunt was at a wedding where a father of the groom made a speech that was quite possibly the most cringeworthy one in history. He never mentioned the bride once until he finished on a 'and to the bride and groom' toast. He spoke about how fantastic his son was, went though his school and uni career and sporting achievements, talking about all the distinguished guests he'd (the FoG) invited, Dr this and Sir that and what they were notible for.

The poor bride must have been wishing they'd had the speeches before the wedding so she could have legged it.

We didn’t have speeches (DF dead, DM and Best Man not big ones for speeches, so it would just have been FoG).

I did go to one where Irish FoG started with “Groom was born in 1978, the year of the three popes. Pope John Paul died after thirty-three days you see, so they had to elect another one. Of course, that wasn’t anything to do with Groom, because he was just a baby then”. It carried on in that vein for about 20 mins. We were dying. I’m still not sure if he was serious or not, but it was the absolute best wedding speech I’ve ever heard.

My mil stood up and made a short speech at our wedding. It was just a few words really rather than a speech but she welcomed me to their family and spoke about how happy she was and wished us well. I don’t think she had it planned but I think she just decided to do it on the spur of the moment.

Every wedding I've ever been to the Father of the Groom made a speech. A lot of randomers also made speeches. No big deal. Makes for a great day.

A lot of randomers also made speeches

Fuck me, that must have been a long running Reception, I’d have been well pissed off at the constant interruptions.

I think it's nice that he cares enough to make a speech. My FIL couldn't give a shit about us.

Not only have I never been to a wedding where the father of the groom didn't make a speech, I've also never been to a wedding where loads of random people didn't make a speech too. I thought that was traditional.

No biggie so long as it was inoffensive. Would have referred to have known however.

Preferred

We’re only extrapolating based on what you’ve written.

I’d have loved it.