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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why do you wine?

174 replies

Fuckitletshavevino · 08/11/2017 21:04

It seems to be the norm now to have a bottle of wine after a hard day. However many nights a week. But what was your trigger for this?

Mine started with depression about 2 years ago. But since then stress.

Now it’s a habit to go get a bottle every few days. I am still stressed but it’s an excuse.

OP posts:
LemonysSnicket · 08/11/2017 21:06

Uni was my trigger... and all the stress and anxiety that came with it.

SecretSmellies · 08/11/2017 21:07

I used to drink a bottle plus every day. It started after I became severely depressed after having DS. It was a coping mechanism and a way to mentally separate myself from the world.

I have been tring to moderate my drinking for 4 years and last year decided abstinence was the only way. My brain chemistry is slowly getting back to normal I think. It's been hard, but worth it.

ShirleyPhallus · 08/11/2017 21:08

I don't think it's the norm at all.

I think it's fashionable to say "pass the wine!" In the same way that "keep calm and drink gin" is fucking cliched but I don't know anyone who actually drinks a bottle a night. And I am v sociable and go out a lot.

If you can't go without then it's a problem OP.....

PaperdollCartoon · 08/11/2017 21:09

I’ve just embarked on a month of now booze trying to kick my wine habit. I’ve has to accept that, yes, it is impacting negatively on my life.
I’ve had mental health problems since I was child and had many crutches and poor impulse control. Drinking is the longest habit though, any stress/anxiety/happy/sad emotions - I’ll reach for the wine.

PaperdollCartoon · 08/11/2017 21:10

Typically I’d drink a few bottles a week, often a bottle at a time to myself.

confused123456 · 08/11/2017 21:12

No trigger. I enjoy a drink, so I have one.
I can easily drink a bottle of wine to myself a night. I have a very high tolerance, I don't get drunk or get hangovers. Or I'll have spirits and mixers, which I have an even higher tolerance for than wine, or fruity ciders.

DancesWithOtters · 08/11/2017 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mustresistwine · 08/11/2017 21:17

see my username Blush

habit for me definitely... I had to set myself some rules as I was drinking a glass or two every night & I felt this was too much. No trigger, just ‘crept up’ on me. Wasn’t ever getting drunk or hungover, just a bad habit!

SofaKing0101 · 08/11/2017 21:27

why do i drink wine?
because i have to run a multi million £ business by myself - yes i need help

each day, I literally drag my suicidal son through the day, by giving him a reason to live

i give my other son, who is training to be a paramedic, encouragement, and to talk him through his day and what he (may) have seen

i get home in the evening to answer emails, letters, phone calls, walk the dog, cook dinner.

I look like a red faced strawberry due to my one bottle of mateus rose a night.
I probably start at 5.00pm and finish by 9.00pm

Does this A. make me an alcoholic or B. a woman in need or C. simply because I like it?

answer C

PurpleDaisies · 08/11/2017 21:31

It seems to be the norm now to have a bottle of wine after a hard day.

Is it? I know lots of people have a glass or two but I don’t think the majority drink a whole bottle to themselves after a tough day.

MerchantofVenice · 08/11/2017 21:31

If you can't go without then it's a problem OP...

I think she knows this, hence the references to depression, stress and excuses. You could be a tad more supportive.

It's really hard to admit you need to cut down. I think OP is asking for help.

packofshunts · 08/11/2017 21:41

Didn’t really drink much (even through uni) until mortgage and utterly shit job in my mid 20’s.

Then thought “ooh let’s be sophisticated and have a cheap bottle of red to go with dinner”.

Quickly became a habit and within no time I became reliant on it to de-stress after a shit day.

46 now and still drink more wine than is good for me

RebeccaCloud9 · 08/11/2017 21:44

Sofa - a whole bottle to yourself every night? I would say a is more likely than c and you don't realise it yet.

SecretSmellies · 08/11/2017 21:44

soberistas.com/

joinclubsoda.co.uk/

I am a member of both these groups and they provide terrific online and IRL support for anyone who wants to drink mindfully or abstain. Loads of discussions as to why people start drinking too much (including that alcohol is an addictive drug and so people sometimes get addicted. I know, hold the press). Loads of discussion and support about what problem drinking is, what it looks like and the reasons why.

Highly recommend for anyone who is a bit worried...no matter what a worrying amount is for them.... one glass...one bottle or more.

ineedwine99 · 08/11/2017 21:45

I like wine. I drink about 2 large glasses a night 4-5 nights a week. I never get drunk, i just enjoy wine

SecretSmellies · 08/11/2017 21:45

oooh... pack. Your user name is one of my favourite quotes ever from K&K!!!! Cracks me up every time and DH and I often say it to each other just for giggles.

Fuckitletshavevino · 08/11/2017 21:47

Wow! Mixed responses there! To those that know what I mean, thank you! I don’t get drunk nor have a hangover. It is however a problem that wine is my go to when it used to be a book. I was simply asking why. You negative lot need to go to another thread. Ta ta bye now

OP posts:
museumum · 08/11/2017 21:48

I don’t drink most nights but drinking wine at home for me came with having Ds.
Before I’d have had a quick half in the pub with workmates a couple of nights a week.

FittonTower · 08/11/2017 21:50

I like wine. I tend to get a bottle delivered with my shopping every week and, while I don't drink every night I will have a small glass some nights because it symbolizes the end of my work for the day. Once I've got home from work, cooked the tea, bathed the kids, put them to bed, tidied up the chaos, sorted what needs sorting for tomorrow I tend to have half hour-ish before I take myself off to bed ready to start all over again. I'm not particularly stressed but i am busy and that one glass between finishing up for one day and going to bed symbolises my rest time and space. I get through that one bottle a week and will sometimes share a bottle with a friend on Saturday night too.
It's not lots, I can and do go without but it's lovely and comforting and it's mine.

isitme88 · 08/11/2017 21:54

I couldn’t finish mine tonight. Too tired

isitme88 · 08/11/2017 21:55

Glass I mean. Mine started after the DC. Up and down ever since

SofaKing0101 · 08/11/2017 22:01

@ Rebecca do you really think i have an alcohol problem

i didn't think i had,

i have bloods and liver testing done every 6 weeks and nothing is showing up

hmmm food (or wine) for thought thank you.....

SilverSpot · 08/11/2017 22:02

A bottle a night isn’t the norm for sure!

I like to have a large glass (one of those mini bottles) and a pack of salt and vinegar crisps and read my book. It’s relaxing and tastes nice.

I also like to drink woth friends when we go out for dinner or just meet for a drink after work.

SilverSpot · 08/11/2017 22:03

Although no wine in the evenings at home for me at the moment because I’ve got a couple of kg to loose!

PurpleDaisies · 08/11/2017 22:06

rebecca that’s approximately 70 units of alcohol a week. The recommended limit is 14.