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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Why do you wine?

174 replies

Fuckitletshavevino · 08/11/2017 21:04

It seems to be the norm now to have a bottle of wine after a hard day. However many nights a week. But what was your trigger for this?

Mine started with depression about 2 years ago. But since then stress.

Now it’s a habit to go get a bottle every few days. I am still stressed but it’s an excuse.

OP posts:

Goodluckjonathan76 · 08/11/2017 23:26

I love wine. Just a glass or two a night with dinner. Love the taste and so relaxing. I do think it's good to have a night or two off a week though, although I often don't manage. A whole bottle would most definitely give me a massive hangover! I worry that I drink too often and have now stopped completely as I found out I was pregnant 3 weeks ago. Have to say that I miss it! Life is a bit boring without it and I don't enjoy meals and food as much. Does that make me an alcoholic? Have to say that I am eating a lot more cake and biscuits as well, having never had much of a sweet tooth. Sugar substitution I guess!

deepestdarkestperu · 08/11/2017 23:41

I drink maybe once or twice a month. I don’t really enjoy the taste but sometimes fancy a glass of wine with dinner or a Baileys hot chocolate in winter.

A bottle of wine a day is not normal, and the fact that people are so tolerant of it that they don’t feel any ill-effects the next day is quite worrying. I had a few glasses of wine on Sunday for a colleagues leaving do - I spaced them over the evening and had them with a 3-course meal and I still felt groggy the next day. Not hungover, but not right either.

Goodluckjonathan76 · 08/11/2017 23:49

A bottle a day is normal for some people. The same way that eating a packet of biscuits a day is normal for some people. Each to their own.

Goodluckjonathan76 · 08/11/2017 23:51

Being fat is as bad, if not worse for your health, than drinking. So if you want to condemn people drinking too much then you should judge people who eat too much too. A dear friend of mine, who obese, goes on about the perils of alcohol but seems to ignore the perils of obesity. I've had a few health scares in the last few years and am pretty sure it isn't going to be alcohol that finishes me off.

oldlaundbooth · 08/11/2017 23:57

I like glass of red whilst I cook dinner. I don't drink much, maybe two small glasses? After that it starts to taste bitter.

sonlypuppyfat · 08/11/2017 23:59

I don't like wine, is there something wrong with me

oldlaundbooth · 09/11/2017 00:00

Each to their own.

SIL drinks three large full-to-the-top glasses per night but never, ever eats desserts of any kind.

bbpp · 09/11/2017 00:18

I drink a bottle+ of wine a night, and binge drink on a weekend.

Yup to depression.

deckoff · 09/11/2017 07:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Justanothernameonthepage · 09/11/2017 08:10

I drink wine for the health benefits (really) and because I enjoy it. A bottle a week which works out as a small glass over 3 nights (DH often has a glass on one or two nights). But it means I spend a little more on a bottle than if I was drinking it every night so I feel able to slowly sip it instead of mindless drinking as I used too.
I am really aware of how easy it would be to drink more and often though, purely out of habit.

I ended up buying that non alcoholic spirit to make up a cocktail occasionally instead which isn't the same, but I still enjoy it.

Razorboy · 09/11/2017 08:16

I was drinking a bottle of wine a day and more at weekends. Never hungover. Always up and functional.

I do have a problem, this is not normal. My liver may well be OK now but my glass of wine a day grew and I started to feel anxious at the thought of not having one. I am having lots of alcohol free days now and trying to be more mindful of what I drink when I do.

For anyone who wants to, search MN for the brave babes battle bus and join us for non judgemental support.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 09/11/2017 08:24

I got bad when I was 19/20, living with a boyfriend who was emotionally and physically abusive and working long hours in a job I was struggling to cope with due to an undiagnosed (as in the doctors wouldn't believe me) disability/condition. I never used to get drunk or be hungover, but I'd easily put away 2 bottles of wine a night, or a bottle and then 4/5 bottles of beer if that's what we had. Not necessarily every night, sometimes I might 'just' have had one bottle, but it was pretty bad.
I stopped shortly after I left him, and stayed sober for 2 months, as a sort of reset. My relationship with alcohol in general is pretty bad tho, I don't drink every night now (or at all, sober for 3 months) but when I do, I just don't really stop.
It's a shame as I love wine, and it's so relaxing and nice to have a glass with a good book or whatever of an evening but for me personally, it's proved to just be a slippery slope!

anothernetter · 09/11/2017 08:31

My dad is borderline alcoholic. He drinks a bottle of wine most nights. He does it because he gets stressed about work. I'm sorry but drinking a bottle of wine every day is not normal. If you think that then you are in denial. I can see that it has affected my dad's health. He now has a paunch and I often see his hands shake. My mum recently told me that he often falls asleep on the sofa with a glass of wine in his hand and ends up spilling it all over the carpet. He did this a few months ago when he had his laptop on his lap and the laptop broke. There have been at least three people in my family who have had problems with alcohol so I know if runs in the family. Its heartbreaking to see my dad do this when I know it's affecting his health.

notacooldad · 09/11/2017 08:32

I only have the occasional beer at home but general I can take it or leave it and usually don't finish my glass
I must say that I am surprised at the bottle a night people because to me that seems a lot. I know that I wouldn't have any tolerance for that amount no also I am an essential car user for work so wouldn't want to risk my licence on the way to work.

In a job I had once every manager loved their wine! It was working in a complex with adults with learning disabilities and I was surprised at how much they drank and how often. My liver would have left me if I had attempted to match them!

I'm in a job that get very stressful as it involves people's lives and difficult and challenging decisions about them. I just to tend to distress by wanting to be alone for an hour or do once I get home. I don't want to talk to anyone for awhile until I feel calm again. I have to say it's not like that everyday but my family know how to react to one of my 'bad day at work' evenings. Wine or anything else would make things worse for me.

DumbledoresPensieve · 09/11/2017 08:53

I've never done it. I don't know why really, occasionally at the weekend I'll have a large glass of wine with dinner or my Sunday roast but that's about it. I like wine, (love it actually) but one big glass is enough - to me I'd compare it to having a big hot chocolate with cream and all the bits. I wouldn't want two or to have it frequently.

I think it's just habit isn't it (unless you have a dependence of course). If it's what you do, then you do it without thinking. I don't think about wine much. I saw all the 'I completed sober for October' posts on SM recently and realised I'd done it without even meaning to.

BastardGoDarkly · 09/11/2017 09:12

Its not judging to say a bottle of wine a night isn't normal, because it's not 'The norm'

I drink 1 or 2 nights a week, but some nights I go way over the top, most I don't, I have fun though, and I need that I think.

AuntyElle · 09/11/2017 09:19

SofaKing0101 you say in your post that you are in need of more help with your business and that you have a lot of stress supporting your children. So the answer has to be at least B. The fact that your drinking is affecting your appearance but you are continuing anyway is a warning sign.
Denial is a massive factor in any addiction. Whether or not you are an alcoholic I don't know. But please don't dismiss your current drinking as 'liking the taste'. That shouts denial. A bottle of wine a night is 63 units a week. Way past the safe level. I'm saying this as someone who drinks to much her

AuntyElle · 09/11/2017 09:22

...self.

sweetbitter · 09/11/2017 09:35

I know lots of people who like a glass or two after work a couple of days a week, and more at the weekend. I don't know anyone (to my knowledge) who habitually drinks a bottle after work every day.

I love a cold glass of dry white wine because it tastes nice, makes me feel relaxed, and clearly delineates "me time" where I don't have to worry about anything much. G&T for the same reasons.

I had two G&Ts yesterday when I got in as had been being assessed previously and wanted a treat and to relax and turn my brain off a bit.

DenPerry · 09/11/2017 09:42

I used to wonder why so many parents drink alcohol, not in a judgy way but in a “why do they need it?” way.. I thought this all the way up to DS hitting 3. Then one day I randomly decided to have a few ciders as a treat and loved how it took the edge off of a day that had been stressful. It was a really nice feeling.

My vice is food, but I have to control this otherwise I’d be the size of a house. My DP has his vape (cannabis) to de-stress and I have nothing.. so it was nice to have a drink. I think most of us need something either to relax, stop the boredom or have as a treat. We are human!

drinkswineoutofamug · 09/11/2017 09:50

See my user name too *
*
I used to buy a bottle of wine at the weekend and happily drink the whole bottle to myself.
When my daughter came out of prison, she was dry. She had a drink problem before hand. So I stopped having it in the house. Occasionally I will sneak a bottle in when she’s gone awol. I’m now on the brandy though for the Christmas cake really and only have a mug of brandy and lemonade on a Friday if I’m not working Saturday. I may need to change my user name

drinkswineoutofamug · 09/11/2017 09:50

What’s with all the typos

CountryGirl1985 · 09/11/2017 10:07

A bottle every night is definitely not the norm! If I do open a bottle I do usually finish it either the same night or the next but that's usually once every 4-6 weeks. 2-3nights a week I have a measure and mixer (gin, Pimms, Martini etc...)

packofshunts · 09/11/2017 10:29

Ha ha! Smellies! You’re the 1st person to comment on my username - thought I must’ve been the only one to watch K&K (look at moieeeee )

SecretSmellies · 09/11/2017 10:51

I say 'look at moieeeeee' to my DS when he is having his meltdowns.

I also like; 'I just want to be effluent, mum'.

My SIL is from Oz and she made us binge watch K&K one Christmas. I am forever grateful to her!

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