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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why do you wine?

174 replies

Fuckitletshavevino · 08/11/2017 21:04

It seems to be the norm now to have a bottle of wine after a hard day. However many nights a week. But what was your trigger for this?

Mine started with depression about 2 years ago. But since then stress.

Now it’s a habit to go get a bottle every few days. I am still stressed but it’s an excuse.

OP posts:
JustDanceAddict · 10/11/2017 13:50

I can’t really drink with a meal either! It gives me indigestion. If I go out, I have my drink(s) first, then maybe struggle through half a glass through the meal?

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 10/11/2017 14:00

For me it is such a habit to have a glass when I’m cooking dinner at the end of the day. I find it relaxing and I do also love wine. However increasingly I’m finding I feel guilty about even just a glass or two, which makes it not so enjoyable. Plus I don’t actually like feeling drunk so can’t drink more than a couple of glasses anyway. A bottle would give me a big hangover which I avoid like the plague. So I do have a bit of a tricky relationship with alcohol. I always have 2-3 nights booze free, sometimes take a month off, blah blah blah, but the fact that I have to even think to do that indicates something.

NotThereEileen · 10/11/2017 14:06

A couple of people have said their liver function tests are normal. That's not really reassuring as your liver takes a lot of damage before the results become abnormal.

allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 10/11/2017 14:19

Can anyone recommend an alcohol free / low alcohol white wine? Most of them are too sweet for my taste

Medeci · 10/11/2017 14:30

I used to enjoy a couple of glasses of wine most evenings but gave up completely when a relative died of alcohol induced liver cirrhosis last year, aged 46. Everyone was shocked, especially his four children, because it was so sudden. He seemed to be a social drinker, never got obviously drunk.
He was still working when he was diagnosed, died 4 weeks later in a lot of pain.

Wishfulmakeupping · 10/11/2017 14:35

Out of habit it's a nice treat at the end of the day BUT even though I eat well and do walk everywhere I've been steadily gaining weight so have gone on ww since I've cut out the daily drinks I'm losing weight, sleeping better and skin is improving so I'm only drinking on nights out (rare) or fri/sat night a couple but no more mid week drinking it's not worth the calories

SecretSmellies · 10/11/2017 14:36

allthegood Sainbury's do an okay AF white wine. Their own AF Sparkling wine is pretty good also, IMO. Not quite as sweet as some I have.

I have heard really good things about Rawsons Retreat in both white and red- can buy those at Tesco / Morrisons I believe.

AuntyElle · 10/11/2017 14:40

2rebecca, a bottle every night is four and a half times the safe weekly level.

hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea · 10/11/2017 14:43

There are no nice alcohol free wines. Mainly because without alcohol, its not wine. But also because they are all disgusting.

GinDaddy · 10/11/2017 14:55

As someone partly raised in Continental Europe, the whole "alcohol with meals makes me sick" thing is fascinating and scary to some degree. I'm not questioning people's experience, ever - if that's how folk feel then that's real to them. It's more that so many of us Brits hate drinking with meals but can happily go straight from the office at 5pm, have countless units, then go straight for a kebab afterwards. That's the culture I've partly grown up with. It's our national identity to some degree.

Is there something in our culture which encourages folk to binge solo, and not just enjoy alcohol as a companion to food? There are plenty of big drinkers in France where my family are, but the culture is more to eat and drink together; you're taught it from an early age as a teenager, and there's less mystery and "forbidden fruit" element to alcohol.

I wonder as well how difficult this drinking culture makes weight loss for people. I can't imagine that giving up big wine drinking (a bottle a night e.g) is even an option for some, yet some also persist in dieting. I can't imagine what the calorie intake is on five bottles of wine a week, but I'm sure it's sadly enough to distort any attempts at weight management.

None of this is "judgy", I mean, look at my username! I'm just wondering why so many folk are happy with the way we do things alcohol wise, almost to the point of "f off that's how I am" - and therefore ignore and isolate any of the undoubted effects this has on weight, mood etc.

Doobigetta · 10/11/2017 15:10

I don't drink every night, and I wouldn't normally have more than a couple of glasses on a weeknight. But there's a very strong link in my brain between a glass of wine appearing and it being "my time", as in, I'm not beholden to anyone, I don't have to police myself, etc. That instant unwinding that is simultaneously physical and emotional is a strong pull.

sinceyouask · 10/11/2017 15:15

These days a bottle of wine gets me very, very drunk, so it's once in a blue moon that I'd drink that much now (in my pre baby days, a bottle of wine was what I would drink whilst getting ready to go out and I would have been confused at the concept of it being a lot by itself!). I don't drink every day, but I probably have a glass every other day. I like the taste of dry white wine, I like how it feels in my mouth, I like the after taste and the slight tingly warmth after drinking, I like the slight buzz. And every so often, I do like getting hammered drunk. Because it's fun and I've always been a giggly, silly drunk who thinks they are hilarious and a great dancer and then wants chips and cheese and to go to sleep, rather than a maudlin or violent drunk.

Eolian · 10/11/2017 15:34

the whole "alcohol with meals makes me sick" thing is fascinating

I've never heard of this. Red wine makes me sick with acid reflux whether it's in food or in a glass. Only red wine though, and nothing to do with drinking with a meal or not.

Allthewaves · 10/11/2017 15:45

I don't have wine. I have chocolate that is probably worse. Every other female friend seems to have wine and fb filled wih posts about wine

user1485342611 · 10/11/2017 15:54

I used to drink a bottle of wine most nights,. It took me ages to break the habit. I now try to have two wine free nights a week, one night where I stick to one (largish) glass, and drink no more than 3 (largish) glasses the other nights.

Still probably too much, but a big improvement on before.

SuburbanRhonda · 10/11/2017 15:54

pack

Joining the thread, just like everyone else.

cathyclown · 10/11/2017 16:06

Lobsterquadrille2

What's the difference between a heavy drinker and an acoholic drinker if you could explain? thanks.

JustDanceAddict · 10/11/2017 16:07

I’d rather drink schloer or similar than alcohol free wine!

JustDanceAddict · 10/11/2017 16:09

The meal thing - I dunno, if I’m out for dinner I don’t fancy any more wine once I’m eating. The mix makes me feel queasy. I don’t eat kebabs!!!!

Fuckitletshavevino · 10/11/2017 16:12

@Suburban you aren’t joining the thread like everyone else. All the other posters have had a discussion. You have very unesasseraly tried to point out an error when there isn’t one. At no point have you joined in with anyone’s discussion or posted your own opinion on the subject!

OP posts:
Battleax · 10/11/2017 16:14

I did this through the stressful years of multiple small children. Then I just stopped. Not really deliberately. I think it's the Valium of our generation.

SuburbanRhonda · 10/11/2017 16:15

I wasn’t aware it was compulsory to offer an opinion on a thread.

Fuckitletshavevino · 10/11/2017 16:23

Joining the thread would indicate you have joined the discussion and you haven’t. Do you mean you are “reading the thread” Hmm

OP posts:
LakieLady · 10/11/2017 16:28

For about 12 years, I worked in places where there was a big drinking culture. Every lunchtime was 2-3 pints or glasses of wine, and the same again after work. And that was on an ordinary day, on a stressful day we'd go to the pub "for a quick one" straight from work and often be there till closing time. I dread to think what my weekly units were.

I cut down a lot when I changed jobs, but my ex was a big drinker and we'd do early doors on a Friday, always on the piss on a Saturday and Sundays we'd start at lunchtime but come home early to pass out and sober up.

I'm eternally grateful for the fact that, following a 3-day migraine, I was left with a mystery stomach problem that made me throw up if I drank alcohol or ate rich or fatty foods, and gave me excruciating stomach pains if I ate anything fibrous, like cabbage or cauliflower, or very spicy.

I had every test under the sun and they never found any reason for it. My liver was fine, no ulcers or anything, nothing wrong with my gall bladder, just inexplicable. After 3 years of eating nothing but boring, bland food and not drinking more than half a bitter, I slowly got better. I could manage to drink enough G&T to get merry, or a bottle of white, but I've never properly got my drinking boots back.

I miss a good piss-up, but I'm also very grateful. Ten more years of drinking like I was would probably have made me very ill by now, I reckon. I lost a dear friend to liver disease, and have seen several clients drink themselves into an early grave, and it's a bloody awful way to go.

INeedToEat · 10/11/2017 16:58

I was a massive red wine drinker - a bottle a night, every night. Slightly drunk and was able to get up for work every morning.

It started years ago with shift work and having to quickly relax before sleep to do it all again the next day. Then it became a habit, a massive habit which went on to cause anxiety. The only thing that made me less anxious was more booze ... and so the cycle continued. For years.

I did have weeks/months were I was able to cut down or stop (pregnancy) but the amount I was drinking always went back to the norm.

52 days ago (I just counted, i didn't know off the top of my head) after developing epilepsy (not booze related but a symptom of another illness) I stopped drinking. Due to medication it's unlikely that i will be able to drink again.

It's been fine (though I stayed away for social gatherings for a couple of weeks) and i dont even really miss it ... bonus is that i can replace my alcohol calories with chocolate.

A bottle of wine a night is a big problem.. I knew this when I was still drinking but another glass of wine always sorted out the disapproving thoughts in my head.