Why do you wine?

[Fuckitletshavevino]

It seems to be the norm now to have a bottle of wine after a hard day. However many nights a week. But what was your trigger for this?

Mine started with depression about 2 years ago. But since then stress.

Now it’s a habit to go get a bottle every few days. I am still stressed but it’s an excuse.

I just love wine. I actually wish it was alcohol free so I could drink lots more. I usually have a couple of glasses, probably 4 nights a week. I don't drink it to get drunk, relieve stress or be sociable, I just like the way it tastes.

I don’t drink in the house at all, I’d rather have tea. On the odd occasion I go out though, I completely over do it and then curse myself the following day. I’m an ex smoker and would do that any time I got stressed. Now that I don’t smoke any more I just scream in to a dish towel sometimes

@BigGrannyPants that’s how I used to be (only drinking tea, not the screaming into a dishcloth ) and I was so much happier then and relaxed. I want that “me” back again. Things have improved greatly this year, I now have a very good job that pays well but at the same time things are worse than ever. The landlord is selling the house after living here for 5 years. I can’t private rent because I don’t have a guarantor anymore even though I can afford the rent and the council won’t help because I work so I am basically homeless with my 6yo within a matter of weeks or even days. After my depression and stress I started sticking to tea and then this happened. And I went back to the wine!

Why do you need a guarantor? (Sorry if silly question, I don't really understand renting. Just read constant madness on here.) It sounds very stressful.

Do you know that some of the HAs do open market rent, now? So not social housing.

@Battleax my wages although is enough to cover rent, Estate agents want you to earn 3x the rent without a guarantor. Unfortunately the HA don’t do that in my area. It’s an over populated area. Stressful is an understatement!

I'm bored, I'm lonely, I rarely leave the house, I know it's bad for me, I don't really care any more.

@Katedotness1963 you are not alone hunni x

@cathyclown the difference between a heavy drinker and an alcoholic is partly that one chooses to drink and the other has to after the first drink. The choice is literally taken away. The first step in AA is admitting that we are powerless over alcohol - a heavy drinker might get through a lot in their own way but they don't drink alcoholically. We know our own kind, I suppose - those who literally tip it back without it touching the sides and are impatient for more and irritable, restless and discontented if they don't get it at once. They're the ones who'll hide what they've drunk or lie about it. A heavy drinker doesn't bother.

@Lobsterquadrille2. I think you are more or less spot on. Like many others have said we don’t drink every night. We choose when we do and we can live without it. We don’t wake up in the morning thinking “I need a drink” it just gets to a certain point of wanting to feel relaxed after a hard day. And so we reach for our habit

And vino I know it's all relative (and some think that a glass a night is an issue and the first step on the slippery slope to full blown alcoholism) but I don't see that as being a problem. As I said earlier, it's also a progressive illness so if your habits and quantities stay largely constant, that's also indicative of a less than serious issue. I'm only very slightly envious of non alcoholics because I never liked the taste of any of it anyway!

katedotnessYep! Exactly that for me too! Love red wine.and a bottle several times a week is my treat!

Example of my previous point... ate dinner about 6.30 then went to pub for quick drink with DH. Couldn’t even finish one glass of wine .

Didn’t make me feel ill just didn’t want to drink it.

I reckon it doesn’t matter how much or how little, it’s the psychological dependence on needing that drink.

I find that eating dinner was my cut off for wine too. So, when I am struggling being alcohol-free I know that if I can get to dinner then that's it, the cravings are over and dead. Once I've eaten, then wine tastes sour or something.

@SecretSmellies it really does stay sour. I think it’s a taste bud thing. I cook breakfast everyday for me and my lo. I can’t survive without 20 cups of tea in the morning. Yet as soon as I’ve had my first bite of breakfast tea tastes nasty it’s the same with wine

Sorry for the poor punctuation!

Yes if only I could eat dinner before 6 every night reckon I’d be fine.

Actually I’m a SAHM mum so wouldn’t be unfeasible, but who the hell wants to eat dinner with bickering tyrants at that time of day!

Nope, in my world it’s
Let DCs eat (have first lovely glass while making tea)
Clear up and maybe sit down for 10 mins (another glass)
Sort dinner for me and DH (poss def 3rd glass)
Eat usually after 8 have far too big a helping of dinner. don’t want to drink anything else.

@packofshunts I’m a single working mum. I wouldn’t give anything up to be a SAHM again. It’s hard work! I have a reason now to order a take away or be knackered enough to have a movie day so I could nap. But only because society says it’s ok. I feel I was more entitled to those when I was a SAHM I go to work now for a break

I disagree that alcoholics need a drink in the morning. Only severe alcoholics drink all day. Most alcoholics are functioning alcoholics and just drink on an evening but they drink every evening and tend to keep drinking once they start and really miss the alcohol if they can't drink for 2 or 3 days

For anyone cutting down, the 'Drink Less' app is really good. You log what you've had, it's not focussed on totally stopping, just about getting a realistic view and has lots of ideas on deciding how much you drink in future.

Sofa - good on you, that is a huge step. Much admiration.

I drink a bottle of wine a week on one night. I do feel rough the next day.
Years ago I drank much more than that but just couldn't do it now.
I think many of you who drink a bottle a night may get a shock in your 40s or 50s at how much it will have aged you. It really does affect your skin and the way you look, especially noticeable when you reach the menopause.
My friends (including me) who have always drunk a lot of alcohol look much older than those who haven't.

Gottage....bingo!
In one line you’ve summed up the most compelling reason to stop drinking

“Friends who drink look so much older than those who haven’t”

In one line you’ve summed up the most compelling reason to stop drinking

It's not a reason to stop. It's just another negative to consider. The main reason to cut back is your overall health...You don't have to stop altogether...just be aware of the consequences of a whole bottle a night.