I listened to a podcast a little while ago where a woman was talking of talking about how she had a glass or two of wine every night, often three or four at weekends, and she went through a period of wanting to address after making excuses to not attend a family event because there would be no alcohol and was concerned that she was at the start of an issue. She tried talking to her family and friends for support and was told she didn’t need help, that she was fine, that’s a couple of glasses of wine every day isn’t an addiction and that she is normal. She managed to give up her daily wine but it was a struggle and many if her friends and family got angry with her for refusing alcohol. Her Mum since said it’s because she drank a similar amount and if her Daughter felt she had a problem with alcohol and that a few glasses everyday was too much, it meant that maybe her own consumption was a problem and she might ask her to stop the wine with her, which she couldn’t do.
I think people get defensive when someone says alcohol everyday is too much, because they feel you’re saying they have a problem with alcohol.
Not everyone who drinks alcohol everyday is an alcoholic, but at the same time, you don’t have to get drunk when you drink to be an alcoholic either, you don’t have to have a hangover either.
My mil is a full blown alcoholic, for a while, she’d sneer at people who felt alcohol everyday wasn’t healthy, calling them spoilsports or alcohol police, she’d say she doesn’t get drunk, she’s harming no one and that she just likes wine and gin.
Looking back now we can see she felt attacked and worried she’d have to confront her drinking. A glass of wine a day for some people is totally fine, for people like my mil it’s the start of a problem, her glass a day, turned to a bottle a day, to two bottles a day, to two bottles and a gin, she now drinks a bottle of gin and a bottle of cider a day. She will still say she doesn’t get drunk or have hangovers and just likes the taste, so there’s no problem :(