To ask for your comebacks to being asked if I'm a full time mum?

[RemainOptimistic]

Got asked this today in the context of small talk. I couldn't think on the spot so just muttered about going back to work.

What can I say in future? How about "oh why do you ask, are you a part time mum too?" or is that too rude?

"Yeah, I'm a full time mum and I work X days a week too... are you a full time dick head?"

Gives me the rage. I am a full time mum and have to go to work too. But motherhood is 24/7 job no?

I personally don’t see how the term ‘full time Mum’ is insulting to those of us who work. I’ve worked part time since my first child was 10 months old, and am fine with being called a part-time Mum - I outsource some of the childcare, cooking etc - to my child’s nursery, not to mentions all the childcare my husband does, so yeah... I’m a part time Mum compared to someone who outsources no childcare at all.

Though if I were being pedantic surely the only ‘full time mums’ are those without a partner, without support from family or friends, and who use no paid childcare and all.

It’s the phrase ‘stay at home mum’ that irrationally annoys me. Though I know it’s not a literal description I always imagine a woman confined to her house 24/7, pacing the rooms like a caged animal in a zoo!

It's just a way of expressing, do you care for your children full time or have other, usually paid employment? You must know this, why do you need a comeback? Caring for children is a job, if you don't do it someone else has to, usually they have to be paid. There is no need to be shirty about this if you work outside the home full time, part time or not at all. Why be arse for the sake of it?

Maybe they’re looking for people to meet up with for play dates?

You only need a 'comeback' if you're a humungous twat and want to make yourself look it.

Otherwise just answer the question like any normal person in real life would.

Yes .. aren’t I lucky!! .. I find most people jealous to be honest .

Circus performer. Juggling kids household, tightrope walker trying to keep everyone happy, lion tamer trying to keep the household inhabitants under control. Of course also responsible for managing the circus and environment as well as socialising young circus inhabitants with community.

Uh! What other sort is there ?!

But working mums do do everything SAHMs do AND work if kids are of school age - well certainly certainly single mums do.

Agree with a lot of the posters here. I don't think there's anything to get offended by. I am a stay at home parent and have used the term 'full time mum' before - mainly because I think it has replaced 'housewife'. Lets face it, no-one sees themselves as one of those anymore and its a very outdated term. If you come out with some of the comebacks suggested above, you will just look batsh*t crazy and a little angry

It’s funny to hear from other side as I work full time and am rarely home before mine are in bed. I always feel really crappy when talking to mums that are available to do school trips, help with reading, do school run etc.

But working mums do do everything SAHMs do
They don't.
If my son was in nursery for 8.30 then I wouldn't have changed that poo-laden nappy this morning or all the subsequent ones. I wouldn't have made and fed and washed up after lunch. I wouldn't have read the same book 5 times and been hills for the trains. I wouldn't have walked him round in a pushchaor trying to get him to nap. I wouldn't have done his feeds for lunch and snack. I would have have tidying to do in the house.

Yes I would still have to cook tea and vacuum and all the washing and cleaning but it is crazy to suggest you do EVERYTHING that is done with your child whilst you're in work all day which is what a SAHP does. In contrast you do a lot I don't- maybe you saved someone life or got an old lady a better quote on her house insurance or sent a rapist to jail or took a call that helped someone get their nuisance neighbour reported. But its crazy to suggest you did that plus 9 hours of feeds and bums and entertaining and disciplining

But working mums do do everything SAHMs do

They've cloned themselves and have managed to be in two places at once? That's impressive, I grant you....

I work when my kids are at school so yes I do everything shams with school age kids do. But outsourcing of cleaning and ironing. They're boring

Well if you are one why are you so defensive?
I personally I gave no clue what SAHM’s do oncr their kids are in nursery/school. I assume they’re lazy or can’t get a job because they have no education or experience. What’s do vital about being a Mum that requires you sitting on your bum all day.

sleeping your child in nappies will be a child in school before you know it. Will you then only be a part time mum?
What about those of us with more children than others? Are we more than full time compared to mothers of one?
Of course not.
You are either a mum or not. No percentages or qualifiers required.

TheFirstMrsDV
What are you talking about? I clearly said earlier I use SAHM because we're all moms. My last post was in reference to WOHM's do everything SAHMs do. Assuming you have any child at home, tats fact. It bears no relation to what type of mom you are, who is best, what % you or someone classifies you as. If you are WOHP then you physically cannot do everything a SAHP to pre school kids does. Even if you only work once they're asleep, you arebt available for middle of the night wake ups. That not a value statement, its a fact.

Do what works best for you and your family

Sleeping and Natalia - I did say with children in school - you are not changing nappies or feeding them then are you ? Not quite sure what takes up those six hours of school time for SAHMs - good Shopping/cooking/cleaning ? I do all that too as well as a full on work day

*food shopping. Or maybe good shopping

Jubejube1
Maybe their DP earns enough so they don't have to do a job just for the sake of keeping people like you happy.
Maybe they prefer to volunteer.
Maybe they're a carer for someone else?
Maybe they're a carer for that school kid and need to be available at a moments notice
Maybe despite their qualifications tbeyre struggling to get back into the work force after a decade out?

Some people just don't get that being a mum is a job, it seems unless you go out of the house to a place of work you are not working.

Not quite sure what takes up those six hours of school time for SAHMs - good Shopping/cooking/cleaning ? I do all that too as well as a full on work day

I think the honest answer to that is that I do all the “boring” things in the week which need to be done, which means that evenings, weekends and school holidays are 100% about family time and having fun with the kids.

I assume they’re lazy or can’t get a job because they have no education or experience. What’s do vital about being a Mum that requires you sitting on your bum all day

Ah - you clearly haven’t considered option 3, have you? ie Maybe they have so much education and experience that they earned enough money before they had kids that they now don’t need to work. And/or that their education and experience has made them an attractive mate for someone who has enough education and experience that they earn enough to support a whole family and so they don’t need to work?

Wiggles9408 well said

I am 'on about' the OP. Full time mother is clearly used instead of SAHM.
Its a ridiculous way of describing a mother who doesn't work.
And yes, in general terms, working mothers do all the things SAHM do.
They may not change a nappy at 2pm but they do change nappies. They do play, read, talk, educate and feed their children.
What do SAHM do that working mums don't?