To want to totally exclude the inlaws at Christmas?

[GoJetterGirl]

Right, just as the title says, but so as not to drip feed:

Those of you who read my previous thread about my inlaws will remember that my son's cancer has relapsed and unfortunately he will not recover, we are buying him time.

The inlaws have come out with gems such as

"You're already pregnant with his replacement"

"She's not very motherly, we don't think she is making the best choices for DS"

"Her parents didn't want her so she can't possibly be a good mother"

"If DS dies it will kill FIL"

Amongst other really vile things to come out of their pot holes...

So, AIBU, being as stressed and as pregnant as I am to tell DH that his parents are not welcome, and our DS's last Christmas should be just us and not with them making demands and stressing me out? Bearing in mind I may have the baby early anyway as DS was a preemie?

Christ no. Do what's right for you and your ds. Sod everyone else. So sorry about your ds 💐

Crikey, based on your OP, you are absolutely not being unreasonable at all.

What does your husband say?

I am very sorry about your son .

I remember your threads and I'm so sorry. Have you anyone in RL who can help you work this out?

Hubby is still slightly affected by FOG... I'm slowly cutting it out of him, but I've been quite lucky with their stupid behaviour, they're banned from the school and hospital

In wouldn’t even think about this, you need to do what’s best for your family.

I hope your ds has a wonderful Xmas, much love to you and your dh

What horrible things to say! I wouldn't be inviting anyone round for crimbo if they spoke to me/about me like that.
What's your DH's take on this?
How far away are your IL's? Could you maybe pop round or get them to pop round on boxing day instead and have your Christmas day to yourselves? I'd make a point to tell them why though. They need to know their behaviour is not okay and that it has consequences.

Hi Trailed, the health visitor is being wonderful, and the hospital and school know the crap they try to pull, so they have taken appropriate action to help me with this...

I'm so sorry to hear about your DS You are most definitely NBU, you should definitely have Christmas with just your family.

Dear lord OP. I am so very sorry to hear about your son. Its breath-taking how callous and self-centred people can be. I have no words about the 'replacement' comment. Its one of the worst things I have ever heard.

You are absolutely justified in telling them they are not welcome in your home this Christmas or ever again and get on with planning a Christmas that you will all enjoy. In fact, if you were my friend, I would be begging you not to allow them anywhere near you or your DS

I hope that Christmas will be peaceful and enjoyable for you and your family x

Do what you have to for your ds.

They're 250+ miles away, thank god for small mercies, but they're "here" every single bloody day via Skype, their voices give me a headache...

Hi OP, I remember your other thread.

Under no circumstances have them around your house. It will be all about them.

I would rather regret not inviting them, than inviting them

They can sod off! Have your Christmas the way that you'll all get the nicest day, none of you need the stress they'll bring.
So sorry about your son, i hope, despite the outlook, you can all have a lovely Christmas and make some fond memories

Every bit of that is so awful. I am very sorry for what you are going through and you are not being at all unreasonable. How does your dh feel about his parents' comments & behaviour? Do you think he will try to make a case for them being there?

You ought to give PILs the care and support they've given you, they are giving you less than none so why have then over at all, let alone Christmas, even speaking to them after those comments is being generous.

I remember your threads GoJetterGirl I'm so sorry

I think you would be absolutely right to not have them anywhere near you x

Fuck them bastards!
For your sake and that of you DS tell em to piss of!

You're already pregnant with his replacement"

This comment alone would make me want to go NC with them.

GoJetterGirl - I'm so sorry

Absolutely exclude them at Christmas (and forever more)

“You’re already pregnant with his replacement”

😮

Never, ever talk to them again. They’ve lost everything with that comment tbh.

Anyone whose behaviour is bad enough to have been banned from the hospital and school has no place staying for Christmas.

"You're already pregnant with his replacement"

I think I might quite possibly kill someone who said that to me. Excluding them from my Christmas would be the very, very least of it.

I would be excluding them from a lot more than Christmas.

Absolutely YANBU. Ban them from your house. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, just the 3 of you, plus bump.

Pair of total arseholes. I would go NC, and not just for Christmas.
I am so very sorry about your son . Be kind to yourselves and enjoy your Christmas the way you would all love it.