To want to totally exclude the inlaws at Christmas?

[GoJetterGirl]

Right, just as the title says, but so as not to drip feed:

Those of you who read my previous thread about my inlaws will remember that my son's cancer has relapsed and unfortunately he will not recover, we are buying him time.

The inlaws have come out with gems such as

"You're already pregnant with his replacement"

"She's not very motherly, we don't think she is making the best choices for DS"

"Her parents didn't want her so she can't possibly be a good mother"

"If DS dies it will kill FIL"

Amongst other really vile things to come out of their pot holes...

So, AIBU, being as stressed and as pregnant as I am to tell DH that his parents are not welcome, and our DS's last Christmas should be just us and not with them making demands and stressing me out? Bearing in mind I may have the baby early anyway as DS was a preemie?

YAY to DH seeing sense (through us!)

We are 100% behind any choices you make to make your time with your son special.

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with those arseholes while also being a grownup for your son.

Glad your DH is able to stand up to them now. I’m wishing you all a very peaceful Christmas xx

Well done, OP, and OP's husband!

I’m so glad your dh is standing up for you and your DS. It’s long overdue but hopefully this is a turning point.

Well done GoJetterDH. That can't have been easy.

No no no! Don't invite them and I hope you, your son and husband and bump have a lovely Christmas x

Go absolute NO CONTACT. After reading the other threads, they are DREADFUL people and you don't need them around you or your family.

Your poor husband must be so stressed, as of course are you, and disappointed and hurt and angry by his parents behaviour when your little boy is so sick. When your child is so unwell you need your parents to parent you for a while, to have them look after you so you can forget that you’re an adult with so many responsibilities. It’s just awful that he doesn’t have that.

Many years ago my daughter was dying and my parents were fantastic - the inlaws however went on holiday even though it was clear she had only a few days left as they’d had a “stressful year and we need the break”. They lit a candle in the church though when we finally managed to let them know she’s passed, as if that made things right!

Your DH needs to find a way to accept that his parents aren’t like you and he are, they don’t have any basic understanding of empathy/love/selflessness or any of the normal emotions parents feel over their children.

Please don’t let them ruin this Christmas for you or your son. You need the chance to build some happy memories to look back on. Hopefully your new baby won’t be too early if he/she comes before Christmas so that your son can have a great Christmas as a big brother.

I’d not bother with trying to salvage a long term relationship with these people - they won’t be of any use to you or your husband when the inevitable happens. Surround yourselves with people who love you and who will support you and tell the in-laws to “fuck off”.

Oh my goodness, they sound absolutely awful :( So sorry to hear about your DS too :(

The most important question is: does your DS want them there? If he's not old enough to know the difference then they shouldn't be there if they're just going to cause you distress. But if DS is old enough, he wants them there and they're good to him then you may have to play house if it makes your son happy

YANBU OP. They sound awful. My sympathies!

Was just thinking about you and hope things are going as well as they can.