To want to totally exclude the inlaws at Christmas?

[GoJetterGirl]

Right, just as the title says, but so as not to drip feed:

Those of you who read my previous thread about my inlaws will remember that my son's cancer has relapsed and unfortunately he will not recover, we are buying him time.

The inlaws have come out with gems such as

"You're already pregnant with his replacement"

"She's not very motherly, we don't think she is making the best choices for DS"

"Her parents didn't want her so she can't possibly be a good mother"

"If DS dies it will kill FIL"

Amongst other really vile things to come out of their pot holes...

So, AIBU, being as stressed and as pregnant as I am to tell DH that his parents are not welcome, and our DS's last Christmas should be just us and not with them making demands and stressing me out? Bearing in mind I may have the baby early anyway as DS was a preemie?

Does your husband truly think they should be included?

I've posted on another one of your threads. YANBU at all.
Plus every time I read the 'If ds dies it will kill FIL' comment I get the urge to say 'Every cloud has a silver lining' which is very awful. But so are they.

GoJetterGirl I am in awe and inspired by your bravery at this most horrendous time. I cannot even begin to imagine what you must be going through, physically and emotionally.

You are being the most reasonable person on the planet with your suggestion; how dare they muscle in on your final precious Christmas with your child?! If I were you, I’d be going one step further and cut all contact with them permanently. They are disgusting human beings with no compassion to say those things to you. I am so angry on your behalf.

Please enjoy this Christmas, just you, DH and DChd.

I read your thread when you were about to have a hospital stay with DS. I'm so sorry you have to put up with this crap.

I want to grab them and shake them. Make them see that this IS NOT ABOUT THEM.

Hugs to you and your DS

I feel so angry reading your latest update! They are continuing to make this about them as opposed to your family.

Thank goodness to hear that the hospital, HV, school etc are providing support.

I appreciate your husband is suffering from FOG but how much worse do they need to get before he has enough?

Please do not let your PIL ruin Christmas, make it all about you’d family and do not let them intrude

So sorry to hear the news about your DS. I remember your last thread.

Cut the fuckers off. Permanently.

I'm so sorry your horrible in-laws are still being so unreasonable. I remember your last thread, too. You are clearly the least unreasonable OP ever in this topic. Please don't let them ruin your last Christmas with your precious son. I really hope that you, DS and DH have a lovely, peaceful Christmas together with absolutely no interference from the in-laws. Very best wishes to you and your little family, including your lovely bump.

Yadnbu, I'm speechless at their comments.
I hope you have a lovely Christmas with ds

Christmas without them! You will regret it later if you bow to pressure. Sending you best wishes.

You know when I'm feeling stressed about people I listen to Lily Allens "Fuck you" song. It's sooooo cathartic especially when I have the lyrics in front of me and a mental picture of the person I'm singing it to!

You're not unreasonable to not want them there, it's your home, it's your Christmas andvyour son. Tell DH you're not up to it, your sins not up to it and the baby can't be arsed with the stress. These are very precious memories you will never get back, so should be treasured and cherished and not tainted with anxiety, stress and bitterness and downright nastiness. My inlaws are all like that, you've my every sympathy - and I would never spoil a beautiful day like Xmas, especially if it was our last with a DS with odious toxic people.

They think your ds is "replacable" with another baby, when of course he is special, wonderful, unique, and unforgettable by all those that know and love him. On that basis alone they don't deserve to share this Christmas with him.

Make special memories that you will all cherish, I'm hoping and praying for a miracle

It’s a hell no from me!

Having read your previous posts I’m gobsmacked you even have contact at all!

I hope you, your husband and son have a perfect special Christmas alone

Get them out of your lives permanently.

That is all.

I'm so sorry about your DS.

I'm not a parent but I feel so sorry for you and your child- how awful to know yo'rer losing your battle to save your child and to have in laws like this! The remark about carrying his replacement is unforgivable, I would see them in Hell before I had anymore to do with them. Enjoy your PIL free Christmas.

I'm so sorry this is happening to your son (haven't seen previous threads) and sorry too that your bravery in dealing with it is matched only by the toxicity of your PILs.
100% you ANBU whatsoever.
Yes, you know that they will have plenty to say about being excluded, but without fail you know that they would have plenty negative to say even if they were included. And will always continue to have long after they have forgotten this Christmas (which they pretty much will because it means much less to them than you and DH who will treasure it.)
The only difference is the special Christmas memories untouched and untainted by them that you will keep in your heart.
Sending big love to you xxx

What is unreasonable is that this is even a thing at all! Of COURSE they should never darken your doorstep again! They would NEVER be welcome in my house after their horrible comments and atrocious, narcissistic behaviour.
FUCK THEM RIGHT OFF!!!

I think I like the suggestion of a nice, quiet trip away (if DS is up to it) without letting them know, because you know they'll just turn up even if you have specifically told them not to, and try and guilt trip DH and DS (You know better than to fall for that shit) about the 500 mile round trip.

No don’t let them into your home, presence or Christmas. They will continue to be awful and you have to protect yourself and your DS.

I’m so so sorry any of this is happening.

I just find it unbelievably awful that they can treat you this way. You're being so brave and I gave nothing but admiration for you. Please don't bow to thier demands. Your Christmas should be loving and peaceful. A time for you to remember for the right reasons. Sending you a hug. Xx

Hell to the no!
Don't let these poisonous CUNTS in your home ever again!!

Having them there will be bad for DS. That is what matters.

Thank you mumsnetters

I have showed DH this thread and it seems to be reinforcing his spine somewhat, the GPs got told no to their Skype request this evening and when they protested he actually roared at them progress definitely made in that area... as I reminded him earlier, he can have his wife and DC at home for Christmas, or his parents, but it is up to him... and if he didn't choose his wife, there was no guarantee that she would ever be coming back....

So good to hear your DH is on your side OP, your PIL sound like the most utterly vile people on earth (and my FIL is a sex offender 😔)
Enjoy Christmas with your lovely DS and know that the whole of MN is wishing you have the most magical day ever 💐

Seriously?? WTAF. These people are horrid.

YADNBU-and well done to your DH

Do Christmas your way and make memories x

Yanbu at all to exclude them after everything