To think this is too much food!

[Rudedog]

So one of DDs friends moved away and they have been home for weekend and today - so we have been out for tea before they travelled home, to TGI Fridays.

So it's me and DD, DDs friend, her mum and younger sister.
Another friend and mother came too.

I've been shocked by DDs friend weight gain over the last year, it's gotten worse and now I can see the cause. She is 8 and this is what she was allowed to order for dinner....

From the adult menu - mozzarella sticks, a half rack of BBQ ribs with fries, a massive brownie ice cream thing for pudding....
She ate all that PLUS - half of her mums onion rings, half of her mums shrimp pasta and a lot of her cheesecake
PLUS - most of her younger sisters chicken fingers and fries and ice cream (younger sister barely eats anyway)
PLUS - she asked about everyone else's dinners and were they eating them all and tried hoovering up any leftovers.

She then asked about getting sweets.

I've never seen an adult eat that much let alone an 8 year old. I can't believe she wasn't sick (they've got a long car journey so maybe I've spoken too soon.

Me and other parent were a bit taken a back, other parent said 'aren't you full yet?' - her mum said 'she's such a good eater and she's always hungry' - she spoke like it was a positive thing.

I never make DD clear a plate - we talk a lot about eating until we feel full.

I mean I'm not unreasonable am I that even if you child is 'hungry' you say no - it's too much food!

Perhaps she has worms!

She's obviously not reserved at home, she is so fat that school uniform won't fit her and she is already at such a young age having to wear the standard fat uniform of leggings

It's as good as child abuse in my book, letting your child eat so much that they become obese, set up for a lifetime of ill health and bullying

Absolutely 100%. Parents are indeed in full control of their child at that age, and yes, it's child abuse. Parent's have to take responsibility and control their kid's food intake to prevent obesity, resultant health problems and resultant bullying/mental health issues, etc. These problems can be avoided without making any fuss, in fact without the child even knowing - i.e. smaller portions at home for everyone, all the family eating more healthily by stealth, i.e. family meals including more salad & lean meat and less stodge, fat, etc.

Op just stated that the child will just as happily eat healthy foods, no one gets fat on a healthy diet so the mother is clearly feeding her rubbish =abuse

@Gileswithachainsaw - not exhausted, she's very much one of those people who don't give a shit about things. She just will say 'yeah she's not eating again' and shrug.

She's loud and very confident. Part of the issue of saying something is I think she isn't interested in others opinions on things.

Younger child isn't fussy, she just doesn't really eat. She will eat very small amounts, like 2 mouthfuls and loses interest. I've never seen or heard her refuse things on basis she doesn't like it. She is more interested in sweets and crisps though.

I'm a size 8 and could eat that much!I probably wouldn't but love food and do have a big appetite.

I don't think you can judge much on one meal out though, most people eat a lot more when they eat out as a treat and it's not as if you can get anything healthy from tgi Fridays! However if she is overweight obviously it is a concern. Perhaps her mother sees her big appetite as a positive thing as her youngest has such a small appetite? Not sure what you can really do about it though.

Do you even need to ask? Of COURSE it's too much food for a child? (If this is a genuine post.)

That's more shit than I eat in a week!

Not really your business though sadly.

Then what's the point of this thread?

You know it's too much food I don't think a single person denies that it couldnt he more obvious.

But she actively encourages and permits it

She isn't interested in anyone's opinions

And she thinks it's great she's such a good eater.

I don't get the point unless you actuakky wanted advice to help? But you don't sound interested

I'm not sure why you're having such a hard time on here OP. That's an obscene amount of food for an 8 year old. I'm surprised the school nurse or other professional hasn't picked up about her weight yet.

Over feeding your child on a regular basis will store up serious health problems for the future and is a form of child abuse. Hopefully the school or GP will pick up on this and offer advice to the child's mother.

My niece is utterly gorgeous but hugely overweight. She doesn’t know any more when she is full, like a lot of overweight adults. Dsis knows it’s a problem but can’t bear to see her child cry for food when she is genuinely hungry.

She was wearing clothes for 15 year olds at 10 because nothing fit her and she is unhappy with her weight. I would never say anything to my Dsis though, she knows, she isn’t stupid. Partially though, she equates food with love and admits she has overfed them.

It can be a complex situation with a lot of psychological issues. It’s not great and needs dealing with but has to be done carefully.

@Evelynismyspyname

The OP isn't "getting stick" because people think that's a snapshot of an ideal meal, she's "getting stick" because it's transparent that the only reason she posted was to sneer and judge and feel smug by comparison ("we talk about stopping when you feel full" and "I limit sweets" to show she's winning at parenting and her acquaintance's apparently poor parenting makes her look soooo good).

Yeah this is what I thought.

The OP is right up there with the 'I cook everything from scratch' and 'I have never been more than a size 10 (even when I was full term pregnant,) brigade.

The other parent sounds rude with their "aren't you full yet?" phosphorus Totally agree. My DF used to shame me a lot about food and weight , he especially liked to do it in front of other people (I have always had a food addiction issue), and this is exactly the sort of thing he would say.

kitkat1985 It is a huge amount and I say that as someone who is in recovery from binge eating, BUT is there a possibility that the DD in question does not eat like that normally? Although I accept that if she is chubby it could be likely that she does. Poor little girl

*@Evelynismyspyname

The OP isn't "getting stick" because people think that's a snapshot of an ideal meal, she's "getting stick" because it's transparent that the only reason she posted was to sneer and judge and feel smug by comparison ("we talk about stopping when you feel full" and "I limit sweets" to show she's winning at parenting and her acquaintance's apparently poor parenting makes her look soooo good).*

Yup

Yep, saying 'aren't you full yet?' is as rude as fuck, and I would say 'what business is it of yours? with THIS look >

It's extremely rude and personal, the height of bad manners, and very poor form to comment on what someone is eating. I have had this happen to me on occasions in the past, and it made me embarrassed and self conscious.

My cousin had a girlfriend who kept commenting on the amount of food he ate, and her mother (my aunt,) took her aside and told her to stop commenting. She said 'it's ok, he has never suffered an eating disorder! So he is not gonna care!'

For a start, that is irrelevant! It's damn rude to comment on what people are eating anyway, and also, how does SHE know he has never suffered an eating disorder? They were both 23 and they had only been together for a 7 months! And the way she went on, she may have given him an eating disorder, mithering about how much he ate!

They're no longer together. They only lasted a few more months!

Notreallyarsed is right, OP. You need to speak to your friend. Her poor DD may need some help.

My DS had a friend in his old school who used to eat 20 chicken nuggets plus large chips and a chocolate milkshake or a whole Pizza Hut pizza to himself at 8. His mum used to say he had a 'good appetite'. He wasn't fat but he was a bit chubby. The mum had an eating disorder when she was a teenager and seemed to have become a 'feeder' as a result. Theres nothing you can do though. Its a bit mean to comment to the child. If shes used to that amount of food, its the parents that have been giving it to her that have made her used to it.

exactly Tippz, many would consider chronic overeating to BE an eating disorder eg BED. I feel so sad at the ignorance regarding obesity and the link with EDs

Raisedbyguineapigs I do not wish to derail the thread but may I just say I love your username. I am someone who is owned by 2 gorgeous guineas myself!

Sorry I meant HIS mother had a word with the girlfriend. (My cousin's mother.)

exactly Tippz, many would consider chronic overeating to BE an eating disorder eg BED. I feel so sad at the ignorance regarding obesity and the link with EDs

Exactly Polka

I really don't think the OP is being sneery DrKroger.

I really don't think the OP is being sneery DrKroger.

OK.

well, of course it's "too much food"
Was anyone going to say "hey, no, that's just the right amount"?
I don't think so.
It was never up for debate
Therefore I call smug and sneery