Splitting restaurant bill

[idontwanttodothisanymore]

I’m one of those people who like to pay for just my meal. I hate splitting the bill by how many people there are.

Me and DH went out with his friend and his OH the other day.

Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57
I had pizza and water, he had chicken and one coke.
DH friend and OH meal came to: £49.78
They had ribs, lasagne, chips and 3 drinks.

Final bill was £81.75
DH friend had two vouchers for £20 off, so they both used that.

Then the OH said we could pay the rest. So we ended up paying £41.75 - £10 more than our meal!!!

I had never met her before and was completely shocked that she wanted us to split by 4 when our meal was cheaper.
She was very intimidating anyway so I didn’t want to say anything.

We were going to do 2 bills but the waiter was all flustered so we said don’t bother. Regretting it now!

I know it’s only £10 but our circumstances are so different. They both work and she has one child - he works full time and she works part time. Whereas DH works part time (and overtime if there is any) but I don’t (I had to leave my job due to medically issues), and we have 2 children.

DH doesn’t think I should be annoyed but I really am!
AIBU to be annoyed?

I don’t think I’ll ever see her again anyway, I didn’t get a good vibe from her and she’s just not my kind of person at all.

Yep Minerva, check out all the direct insults calling her a cun- oh wait

But lights, it really doesn't have to be that stark a choice, does it? There are restaurants for most budgets - no need for anyone to feel awkward.

Rebecca if my relatives pick a restaurant for their birthday I'm not going to demand we go to somewhere cheaper just because I'm broke and can't 'join in' or whatever way it's described.

Fortunately, the people I know are understanding enough to let me be my own tight self and go along with a measly 20 quid so I can get to wish them happy birthday and spend time with them enjoying their company. Family means everything to me, not money. And I can guarantee that I don't give one shit about how many courses they order or who has dessert.

But I think only someone selfish would insist on scoffing a pudding alone whilst everyone else waited for them. You could all be at the bar drinking, not watching someone shovelling cake into their gaping maw!

This is the shit we are talking about. This revolting attitude.
Something seriously wrong with people who talk about their friends in such a disgusting manner.

In my experience men are more likely to throw the cash around without a care in the world while their DW is scrabbling around worrying about how they are going to pay the gas bill or buy shoes for the DCs

I agree. We pay for family meals now and again but we can afford it and our finances are joint. But men do posture IMO whether they can afford it or not

the calculator mob (or "Must dash, I only had a pizza, here's £5.95" crew) are invariably just very careful, or mean.

I will never get past the “people who pay less for what they consumed are generous and those who paid the minimum are mean”. Bizarre

I shouldn't give a shit I know, but it's really hurtful for some reason to be constantly described as tight and mean

It doesn’t bother me, as I know I’m not, but it’s annoying when cunts posters repeatedly say ‘ho ho ho yes you ARE mean, you don’t fool me go shop at boots hahahahahahaha I’m soooooo funny’. It’s like conversing with a toddler.

Also people, if you behave like a twat/cunt/arse don’t be surprised when you get called one. Spending page after page goading people doesn’t make you a better person just cos you didn’t use a naughty word

if my relatives pick a restaurant for their birthday I'm not going to demand we go to somewhere cheaper just because I'm broke and can't 'join in' or whatever way it's described.

Exactly! Decent family and friends understand if you just want to pay for what you ordered. I feel sorry for some posters who have such judgmental and exclusionary people in their lives

hot not sure who ‘we’ is but rebecca posted that (and I agree it’s a revolting attitude).

I’m off out to an Italian tonight with my friends. I shall think fondly of this thread and make sure people know they must keep up with ME and what I eat, otherwise they’re just fucking rude and inappropriate.

Or, I’ll have a good time and not be so damn anal about who should eat what and when in a bloody restaurant

I do agree with Rebecca except for the pudding comment. I often skip a starter and have a pudding as if I have a starter cannot manage a pudding and I love pudding! If no one else is having a pudding that is tough luck on them and that fact will not stop me digging in - I will have been good or week for this treacle tart and no-one is stopping me!

Cherry I agree about the male posturing and have seen it as well as few times, it's only ever been men I've seen get very territorial, if that's the word, about getting to be the one who covers every pizza, salad, steak, dessert and bottle of champagne!

Enjoy your Italian tonight

And you're right, we shouldn't get annoyed if we know we're not mean, it's just hard as you say with the goading which I've definitely seen.

@crumpets - yes that was rebecca who said that about dessert and I agree with you - disgusting attitude towards friends who are meant to actually like each other!

If I had £15 left I wouldn't eat out. Sorry. I would find it too stressful and wouldn't enjoy the experience. I would take that £15 then save up and go out in a few months when I could actually enjoy socialising without having to worry about what I was ordering....

This thread has been such an eye opener. I am so very glad to know the people I do!! I can't even imagine m the frothing that must occur in real life with an actual bill. we're off for a tapas this lunchtime; I will not be thinking about this thread and the weeping and the wailing and the gnashing of teeth that it would cause amongst a bunch of cherries when people can't work out their exact share 😂

All men posture do they? At least it's not just women that get demeaned I guess....

Aaaahhhh how infuriating to keep being accused of weeping/wailing/gnashing when literally NO ONE has done that. You’re assigning traits to people who don’t have them to suit your own weird agenda

It’s either stupidity, lack of reading comprehension, or being an argumentative twat.

@Delatron fair enough, seems like a difference in personalities as I would not find it too stressful.

@Rebecca - no, I said that the posturing I've witnessed has only involved men, not "all men posture" - different statements.

I am so very glad to know the people I do!!

Are they just people you know then? Not friends? If they're just people you know then maybe it's just posturing?

Funnily enough Minerva you have to know friends and family - but nice try at being totes hilair, nonetheless :)

lightsON

You don't sound 'tight' or 'mean' at all. Please don't worry about sweeping, goading generalisations made by random strangers

Thank you Princess I appreciate that, and it's nice to read Am too oversensitive! It's good to know my posts haven't come across badly to everyone.

lights the only tight people on this thread are the ones who are outraged that some people think they should pay the amount for what the consume.

Someone pointed out earlier how good is an emotional topic. I think that’s spot on and I suspect there’s a lot of guilt from certain posters who may feel they have unwittingly shortchanged or guilt tripped their friends.

Actually I am probably always the loser, invariably being the driver and having a small appetite. Nevertheless I would find it embarrassing in the extreme to quibble over a small difference in the bill.

No one has said that someone should swallow the injustice of a huge discrepancy, especially when eating with acquaintances/colleagues and not people with whom it is likely to even out in the future.

But if everyone has had almost the same - as in the OP - it is rude behaviour to start pointing out who had what.

Furthermore, those saying Christmas etc is nothing to do with it, in my experience being careful (or the nicely-put "near" in Dickens speak) spills over into every aspect of life.

Also reminds me of bloke who asked out dsis. Upon dsis saying that would be nice, he replied, "All right, then. I'll look out for a 2-4-1 voucher." Is this good practice or not good wooing behaviour?

I went out for dinner with a colleague last night. We had exactly the same except she asked for an extra topping on her pizza. She owes me 75p.

I haven't read anything except the op. Yabu. Petty and grabby. Did you add on a tip? Did you only have water to keep costs low. Seems so miserable!

But Lady I don’t think anyone has said it’s fine to quibble over ‘a small difference’ in the bill. We’ve all clearly stated it’s when someone has to pay over the £20/£30 Mark.

Interestingly I very rarely drink, and almost never when just out for a meal, but soft drinks aren’t cheap. Tonight my friends will probably have a couple of glasses of wine but my 3 cokes will come to the same, maybe more. So I think in a lot of instances the non-drinkers aren’t down much less than the drinkers (although I guess it depends what kind of night you’re on and what everyone is drinking!)

The projected guilt for apparent short changing is the biggest load of garbage anyone has managed yet and shows an absolutely mind boggling inability to understand other people or how things even out if there isn't always one having all the extra stuff. I even gave an example of a restaurant pages ago where I share the bills with friends regularly without eating the expensive meaty and fishy dishes; funnily enough no comment on THAT as that certainly doesn't fit the self-exonerating "oooh your camp must all be ripping people off" narrative!

Lady is absolutely right above.

The OP was quibbling! She was annoyed about a £7.60 overpayment some days later and giving her dh an ear-bashing about it.

Stop putting people down Rebecca. Having more money to spend does not make people superior.
It's upsetting to read this thread and the attitude that people with less should miss out.