Splitting restaurant bill

[idontwanttodothisanymore]

I’m one of those people who like to pay for just my meal. I hate splitting the bill by how many people there are.

Me and DH went out with his friend and his OH the other day.

Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57
I had pizza and water, he had chicken and one coke.
DH friend and OH meal came to: £49.78
They had ribs, lasagne, chips and 3 drinks.

Final bill was £81.75
DH friend had two vouchers for £20 off, so they both used that.

Then the OH said we could pay the rest. So we ended up paying £41.75 - £10 more than our meal!!!

I had never met her before and was completely shocked that she wanted us to split by 4 when our meal was cheaper.
She was very intimidating anyway so I didn’t want to say anything.

We were going to do 2 bills but the waiter was all flustered so we said don’t bother. Regretting it now!

I know it’s only £10 but our circumstances are so different. They both work and she has one child - he works full time and she works part time. Whereas DH works part time (and overtime if there is any) but I don’t (I had to leave my job due to medically issues), and we have 2 children.

DH doesn’t think I should be annoyed but I really am!
AIBU to be annoyed?

I don’t think I’ll ever see her again anyway, I didn’t get a good vibe from her and she’s just not my kind of person at all.

To be fair it's your fault for not speaking up, splitting the bills is common in high earning circles. If you're too shy tell your husband to sort it out next time so it's not split.

Did anyone else see this article in the i last week?

inews.co.uk/opinion/stephen-bush-sneer-wetherspoons-youve-never-stared-blind-panic-restaurant-bill/

Good point Barbara. The tip is only so high because someone ordered more expensive food.

Anyway I’m continuing the hilarity that MN provides, I’m off to read that Dorchester thread

Think about it this way: two friends decide to go a fancy restaurant as a celebration. They get there, and one, having looked forward to it and saved up, orders 3 courses and some wine, because it's a destination restaurant, an event. The other one says "I'm not very hungry, I'll have a small pasta and glass of water". Of course they have every right to do that, but how do you think the other one is going to feel? They will feel stupid eating their starter and dessert alone. They will feel greedy (even though they are not) and they will not feel celebratory at all. They will feel let down and disappointed that the promised event was not stuck to.

So would you suggest that the person who wasn't that hungry bought a starter and a desert and just didn't eat it?

I don;t know about others, but I cannot predict my appetite in advance. Though usually, if I am going out for a meal I will not eat through the day to make sure I am hungry.

I would not feel stupid or greedy for ordering a desert when someone else did not. I find that a little weird, though appreciate that might just come down to different personality types or something. I cannot imagine ever caring about what someone else ordered. Do you think people on diets shouldn't go out for meals with friends? As surely the same applies? One friend may order a starter, a steak and a desert. the dieter may order a salad. Would someone ordering a salad while you ordered a 'proper meal' really make you uncomfortable and feel less like celebrating?

Crumpets, I think I do 'get' it but just don't agree. I don't feel awkward ordering what I want, and don't think bad of others for doing the same. To me it's about seeing that person and spending time with them and getting out for a bit as it can be depressing staying in constantly.
I don't overthink the etiquette side of it too much, am just guided by appetite and budget!

A salad wouldn't bother me. I often order Caesar salad and a side of chips or something. But I think only someone selfish would insist on scoffing a pudding alone whilst everyone else waited for them. You could all be at the bar drinking, not watching someone shovelling cake into their gaping maw!

Or I sometimes have a starter and a main but, because I will be genuninely full, take a good portion of the main as a doggy bag for lunch the next day. Now, I'm sure there will be someone will a conflicting opinion on the matter of doggy bags, which I'm quite surprised haven't come up so far on this thread.
I have never ever taken a doggy bag from a restaurant, and would feel mortified asking. I don't know why, I just wouldn't do it.

Maybe a 1000 post thread on doggybags next

Jesus wept - the tip is now contentious I see. Here’s a tip, free of charge because I know you will be worried. Chill the fuck out love. The world won’t end if you pay £2 less or £2 more for your chili con carne.

But I think only someone selfish would insist on scoffing a pudding alone whilst everyone else waited for them. You could all be at the bar drinking, not watching someone shovelling cake into their gaping maw!

I very rarely get deserts (unless there is chocolate fudge cake and I feel chocolate-y). I have never, never, sat staring at someone else who got one while I did not have one. And presumably, I would have a drink at the table already and everyone would be socializing. So would be drinking anyway.

But I think only someone selfish would insist on scoffing a pudding alone whilst everyone else waited for them. You could all be at the bar drinking, not watching someone shovelling cake into their gaping maw!

Again, perplexed at what people take offence at (and why are you staring at people eating?)

Thank god I have mates who’ll let me having a dessert alone without getting pissy about it.

Jesus wept - the tip is now contentious I see*

You have the reading comprehension of a turkey. It was bluntbess whingeing that her tip was subsidising other people. My post was in response to her pathetic hair splitting. HTH

On tips. I just round to the nearest tenner tbh rather than a set percentage. If the food was 39 though, I would round up to 50, not 40.

I also do this in taxis (though not to nearest tenner, just to nearest quid usually). Which my friends find weird. Like if the fare is 4.40 I will not want change from a fiver. If fare is 4.90 and driver has not been one of those who sits silently then I will pay 6 instead. And if they help shopping to my door, add on another quid or so too.

Good point Barbara. The tip is only so high because someone ordered more expensive food

This not you then?

Erm, cambodian, you know what hypothetical means, right?

But yes usually I am spending more than most when I eat out

Tips is actually a more emotive topic than splitting. I once ended up banned from a forum, along with about 10 other posters as a tipping thread got way out of control. It was basically asking why we tip bartenders hairdressers and waiters. When they make at least minimum wage anyway, and other low paid jobs do not get tips. For example a cleaner or bus driver will not be tipped, despite being low paid geenrally. Carers and such the same.

Off the back of that thread actually, now when I go on holiday I specifically tip the cleaners in the hotel. As I had never ever thought of it that way before.

YY BatShite if I spend £43 I don’t think “ooh £4.30 it is” it makes sense to stick a fiver in.

This thread really shows how different people are in social situations. Some might think it’s awkward for just one person to have dessert, but TBH I find it awkward when people say “I’m not having a dessert if no one else is”. It’s just a bit childish!

BatShite it’s an even bigger minefield across the pond where 10% would be an insult, and should only ever be given for abysmal service! I always go 20-30% when we’re in the US

Just when you think the pay your own team misery can't get any worse, you get people saying they don't care if everyone has to wait for them to have an extra course alone! Lol. Nobody wants to "stare" at you. It's just weird to be the only person still eating. If you can't see that, you must be very self-centre- oh.

That perhaps illustrates one of the differences here - some people think how they come across; others don't care so long as they get what they want.

@Rebecca you're totally twisting this. Not only do you continue associate 'misery' people paying for their own after being repeatedly told it's fun and a great experience when we eat out and is about the PEOPLE which is why we shouldn't stay at home - now you are saying they are selfish for ordering what they want?

The funny thing is, I and cherry and others have said that sometimes we ARE the light eater, which would make us be the ones who are waiting for others to finish! Do I think they are self centred?? Not a chance in hell!

And I have been for plenty of meals in the past where we have indeed split the bill, and I've been a bit broke I can only afford a main course, but others have had a starter, dessert, coffee, cheese course etc - is that selfish of them?

I don't say it is, nor do I think those people are greedy, free loaders, scroungers or any of those names. They are just doing things a different way by splitting the bill, to how some of us are ABLE to do it.

Oh I'm sure you find your meals out to be a great experience. I'm equally sure that some of the other posters on this thread would not!!

Ok :( I did say a couple of pages back I'd stop replying, should have done that. There's a real element of nastiness on this thread.

Different strokes for different folks. If you enjoy it, who cares what anyone else thinks?

I wouldn't enjoy how you and cherry and Barbara describe your meals out - but you do. It's just a different viewpoint!

Rebecca

I wonder if you realise how sneery and supercilious you are coming across on this thread?

YANBU