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AIBU?

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Original poster

Splitting restaurant bill

974 replies

idontwanttodothisanymore · 06/11/2017 14:37

I’m one of those people who like to pay for just my meal. I hate splitting the bill by how many people there are.

Me and DH went out with his friend and his OH the other day.

Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57
I had pizza and water, he had chicken and one coke.
DH friend and OH meal came to: £49.78
They had ribs, lasagne, chips and 3 drinks.

Final bill was £81.75
DH friend had two vouchers for £20 off, so they both used that.

Then the OH said we could pay the rest. So we ended up paying £41.75 - £10 more than our meal!!!

I had never met her before and was completely shocked that she wanted us to split by 4 when our meal was cheaper.
She was very intimidating anyway so I didn’t want to say anything.

We were going to do 2 bills but the waiter was all flustered so we said don’t bother. Regretting it now!

I know it’s only £10 but our circumstances are so different. They both work and she has one child - he works full time and she works part time. Whereas DH works part time (and overtime if there is any) but I don’t (I had to leave my job due to medically issues), and we have 2 children.

DH doesn’t think I should be annoyed but I really am!
AIBU to be annoyed?

I don’t think I’ll ever see her again anyway, I didn’t get a good vibe from her and she’s just not my kind of person at all.

OP posts:
Rebeccaslicker · 09/11/2017 17:06

Princess - you see it that way, fine by me!

It ain't me who's been calling people twats and cunts and saying they have the reading skills of a turkey, though...

LadyinCement · 09/11/2017 17:15

The pil and their fellow travellers on a SAGA holiday in the US got bawled out by the rep for not leaving tips in restaurants. One restaurant had said that forthwith tour groups from the company would be banned.

Just an observation here, but is it that women are more careful than men as a rule? I honestly think men are more gung ho about an evening out and chilled about who is having what. It is generally women who are angsting over bills and, I'm afraid to say it, pulling the "I only had a pizza" stunt and forgetting the rest of it. Men usually get a horrendous rap on MN, but I think this is one area (and there aren't many!) where they are the nicer sex!

Rebeccaslicker · 09/11/2017 17:25

There is a clip in family guy or something similar where a bill comes and the men chuck in their wallets and the women start clucking over a calculator...!

Bluntness100 · 09/11/2017 17:35

Good question on gender. I wonder if there is anything in that, I don’t know anyone of either gender who goes out with friends and family and just pays their own, and I don’t actually recall knowing anyone who did it either, but I’m stuggling to imagine a bunch of blokes doing the whole pay for your own thing past student age.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 09/11/2017 18:28

Nobody wants to "stare" at you

Except you apparently, you say you ‘gawp’?

No one is ‘waiting’ for me to eat FFS. They chat amongst themselves, and continue to drink. And who wants to sit at a bar anyway when they can sit at a table?!

I’m beginning to think that some people’s meals out consist of just eating and not taking given how much is centred around what other people eat and when, and how they ‘wait’ for each other to finish eating. Sounds like a hoot.

The funny thing is, I and cherry and others have said that sometimes we ARE the light eater, which would make us be the ones who are waiting for others to finish! Do I think they are self centred?? Not a chance in hell!

I mentioned earlier when I was heavily pregnant with DS and went on loads of Christmas meals out, I had one course, due to having a stomach the size of pinprick. I managed not to sit there and watch people with their starters and desserts and think ‘what self centred fuckers’. Probably because I’m not a weirdo or an arsehole that I think just because I was having one course that everyone else should too.

I’m an adult FFS I can manage to speak to other people whilst someone eats.

A meal with so many rules and etiquette about who can have what and what’s ‘appropriate’ behaviour sounds dull dull dull! Maybe you would all have more fun at KFC or Nando’s Wink

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 09/11/2017 18:29

Not very feminist to make a sweeping generalisation about women’s behaviour is it

BlueberryIce · 09/11/2017 18:54

“It was basically asking why we tip bartenders hairdressers and waiters. When they make at least minimum wage anyway, and other low paid jobs do not get tips.”

Isn’t tipping something we imported from the US?

And those professions in the US get about half the standard minimum wage so are forced to get a living wage from the tips?

PiffleandWiffle · 09/11/2017 20:00

Fuck me, is this still going on?? Grin

I'm bored of this now & wish to leave - exactly like I get when I just want to leave the restaurant but some fucker is trying to work out how many olives they had......

Rebeccaslicker · 09/11/2017 23:46

Ahahahahaha at cherry accusing me of being a snob (because I made a comment she was incapable of understanding, which was about her being a tightwad) - and then making cracks about KFC and Nando..... The comedy gift that keeps on giving! Although perhaps it's not fair to laugh when someone is clearly struggling to understand a conversation.

Urgh Piffle, olives!!! Who would eat them anyway?!

BadLad · 09/11/2017 23:53

I do love threads when people on both sides of the argument get far more invested in the issue than the long-gone OP, and spend several evenings arguing for the amusement of the rest of us.

OtterInDisgrace · 10/11/2017 02:35

Hmm, yes.

I don’t think I could go out for dinner with anyone who disliked olives, though. What kind of a wrongmo doesn’t like olives?

BadLad · 10/11/2017 03:36

I don’t think I could go out for dinner with anyone who disliked olives, though. What kind of a wrongmo doesn’t like olives?

On the plus side, if their dish came with any olives, at least you could have them.

OtterInDisgrace · 10/11/2017 03:47

Yeah, specially if it saved a few pennies, eh? Wink

In all seriousness, though, olives are lush.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 10/11/2017 06:39

Olives are rank!
I love a good mouthful of nuts though Grin

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 10/11/2017 06:41

Also my KFC and Nando’s comment was alluding to earlier comments made about ‘maybe poor people should just eat at McDonalds’. What a shame for some people that they don’t understand dry humour Wink

user1487194234 · 10/11/2017 06:52

I think this is something that splits people
I prefer to split the bill equally even though I don’t really drink
People who want to pay for what they had are not really my sort of people

Rebeccaslicker · 10/11/2017 07:31

This reply has been deleted

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MinervaSaidThar · 10/11/2017 07:51

I don't think men are 'nicer', they just get awkward when it comes to the bill.

If he eats out with his friends, he has often paid the whole bill because he doesn't like spliiting the bill or just paying for what he ate.

And he was often picking up the bill for all his family when we went out to eat too.

It's an expensive habit that's he's trying to get out of.

MinervaSaidThar · 10/11/2017 08:11

Good old Mumsnet - where people lose their shit over the insults ‘bitch’ and ‘cunt’, but ignore how their behaviour led to them being used.

I agree CoughLaughFart. There has been quite unrelentless goading of Cherry by Rebecca, and to an extent by Bluntness.

BarbaraofSevillle · 10/11/2017 08:13

If we're generalising about men and women, men are probably more likely pay for everyone so they can play the 'big man look at me with enough money to pay for everyone' or alternatively to not think of the impact of the overspend has on their family budget.

In my experience men are more likely to throw the cash around without a care in the world while their DW is scrabbling around worrying about how they are going to pay the gas bill or buy shoes for the DCs.

MinervaSaidThar · 10/11/2017 08:17

Unrelentless?! 😂

LadyinCement · 10/11/2017 08:55

Then we return to the point that is why would you go out to dinner if you couldn't afford the gas bill or shoes for your dcs? Confused

Nah, BarbaraofSeville, the calculator mob (or "Must dash, I only had a pizza, here's £5.95" crew) are invariably just very careful, or mean. The Queens of the Calculators in my experience are those with no money woes at all.

Once the pil stayed for two weeks with us when we lived somewhere "exciting" and totally at our expense - days out, trips to tourist attractions etc. I went out for a coffee with mil and she put down exactly half the cost on the table. I nearly regurgitated my coffee at the sight of such meanness.

BarbaraofSevillle · 10/11/2017 09:06

Then we return to the point that is why would you go out to dinner if you couldn't afford the gas bill or shoes for your dcs

That is not the point at all and you know it. Someone can afford to pay for shoes, gas bill and the one course and one drink that they had.

What they can't afford is several courses and drinks that cost 2/3 times more, or to pay for the whole bill for everyone. So if they can't afford the latter, why should that mean they miss out completely?

Say I have £100. The gas bill is £45, shoes for the DCs are £40, that leaves £15 that I can eat out with - I could say - eating out will cost £40 because I 'have' to have 3 courses and half a bottle of wine so I can't afford to go so I won't, but I could equally think - if I only have a pizza and one small glass of wine that is £9 plus £4 plus a couple of quid for a tip and I still get to go out, have a nice meal and see my friends instead of missing out again.

And if you can't see that as a reasonable thing to do, then at best you are very fortunate that you've never been in such a position.

LadyinCement · 10/11/2017 09:11

Yawn.

What is this "missing out"? Sure I'd miss out if I had problems paying the gas bill or buying shoes. Get your priorities right!

lightsON111 · 10/11/2017 09:13

But lady I've said over and over again that I'm not mean, and I know for a fact that other people who can only afford certain amounts aren't mean either. It's about what you can physically afford. Am I making no sense here? Feel like I've repeated this about 20 times. I've said how it's a dream of mine to be able to end money worries for family, to pay for every meal out with them. I bloody love being generous.

You mention about needing to pay the gas bill so shouldn't be eating out, well I and many others refuse to let being on a low income make us hermits who can never celebrate a loved ones birthday or special occasion. It just means that we HAVE to stick to a set amount that sometimes it's taken a few weeks to save up for.

I shouldn't give a shit I know, but it's really hurtful for some reason to be constantly described as tight and mean.