Can I trust my cleaner?

[Boffin90]

Over the last 2 years there have been a couple of times I have overpaid my cleaner (one overpayment was an extra £50) into her account. This has occurred on occasions I have needed to pay multiple people for various things and made a few mix ups. My cleaner has never mentioned to me when this has happened. I have always made the discovery. I know she checks her account as if it hasn’t gone into her account by the next morning she messages me. (I have never been late with her payment, it’s always been her bank causing some delay on showing her side).
I will be setting up a standing order but it makes me wonder if I can trust her. An overpayment error does not mean you’re entitled to the extra money!
AIBU or would you feel uneasy that someone is not willing to confess you have given them too much?

Apparently you cannot make mistakes according to many. There are some damn perfect people here. I sadly am not infallible. I think the point is being clearly missed.

This is what I don't get. You are allowed to make 2 mistakes, because you are not infallible (according to yourself).

But it's beyond your understanding or tolerance that your cleaner may not have checked her account that day, even though she too is human, just like you and can overlook things she normally does.

And that's even besides the point that it's not her goddamn job to check it. And it is your goddamn job to pay her correctly.

But no, if there's blame to be handed out, you're determined it should land on her.

Maybe if the title of this post was “Can I trust my Friend/colleague” and it was about repayments on something the response would vary.

I am inclined to believe people stereotype and have some vision of a greedy, tyrant employer and the poor victim cleaner that nobody sticks up for.

I would just like to point out when I was much younger I used to be a cleaner whilst studying but I would never not mention an overpayment.
Everybody that works no matter what they do and how much they earn has the right not to be taken advantage of.
(This statement is a general statement, not stating the cleaner is taking advantage)

LaurieMarlow

Relax, don’t get so over excited.
I have said it could be a genuine mistake on both occasions and without proof, I have to treat it as such. My point is... if you know someone checks their account daily and contacts you the next day over 8-9 occasions to check they have been paid because their bank has caused a delay, would it not make you a little curious that the 2 occasions they were overpaid they had no idea despite by her own admission checking her account daily?!
Nothing about that would be uncomfortable for you?
If no, that’s fine but it does leave me feeling a little concerned.
I state again though, that’s how I feel and the actions I take or not take would always be based on concrete evidence which of course I do not have.

As for checking wages. I’m afraid you are wrong. It is the responsibility of both parties to check their wages are correct and make any necessary queries. In the event of an overpayment both parties discuss how it should be returned and if necessary a payment arrangement should be made. There is no automatic right to keep the money.

I am not placing blame. I’m expressing an uncomfortable feeling based upon ALL of the information.

Nothing about that would be uncomfortable for you?

No. I'd just make sure I got it next time. Then no problem for anyone.

As for checking wages. I’m afraid you are wrong. It is the responsibility of both parties to check their wages are correct and make any necessary queries.

Show me where this is stated in law or in an employment contract. And I mean show me that it's the responsibility of the employee to check their wages and raise within a certain time frame.

I agree that it's an employees responsibility to pay wages back if both parties agree there's been an overpayment.

Are you well?

Both parties don’t have to agree an overpayment has been made. If it has been proved it has been overpaid it can be recovered. Nobody mentioned a time frame.
There was a case where somebody was overpaid for a year and had to make a payment arrangement to pay it back. They were asked why they didn’t check as was the employer.

Grown ups take responsibility for checking things. If you don’t feel you need to check your wages then don’t but if you are overpaid over a period of time don’t be shocked when you look silly when asked why you didn’t check.

It was me that checked and found it was incorrect.
I believe my ultimate mistake was trying to accommodate her payment preference. I should have just stayed at the beginning that it would be a standing order.

I have no problem with people saying

Boffin YABU, I would not feel uncomfortable.
Or
Boffin YANBU it would make me feel uncomfortable too.

However, this post has become
AIBU for making 2 payment mistakes out of 104?
😂😂

Pengggyn
It was me that checked and me that found it!

Because that was your job.

However, it's clear you won't take responsibility for what's required of you and your own mistakes despite many people telling you YABU on this thread.

So when you pointed out the mistake what did she say?

That would be the deciding factor on her character in my opinion

Pengggwn

Me making 2 mistakes is really important to you.
Yes, 2 occasions I did make a mistake. I then checked and highlighted those mistakes and then corrected them.

You really are splitting hairs.

Take for example: You are due to make a manual payment or a number of them. You miss one and are a little late or mix it up but you have a system where you check and you notice. You have caught that mistake as you check things.
102 times you make no mistakes.
On 2 occasions you do, it happens but by checking it will pick it up.
People do it all the time. Human brains are capable of errors that is why it takes 2 people to do things like check controlled drugs or pilot a plane with a check list.
They make mistakes and the system allows it to be corrected as my regular check did!

For somebody to keep getting paid and never checking their wages month after month is not being responsible.
(Not my cleaner. Just in general)

LaurieMarlow

The trouble I am having with what you have said is that I have taken responsibility!
I have decided to set up a Standing order to stop it happening again.
The cleaner didn’t want this, I tried to accommodate her preference and perhaps should have stated standing order in the beginning.
That way this would never have happened.
Do you think I like feeling uncomfortable?
I trust this woman with my home!
Do you think I want to doubt her integrity?
I don’t want to.
It’s a niggle because I know she checks her account daily and never mentioned to me on her checks.
They were discovered on my checks.

This is about the discomfort I feel. Not a responsibility issue.
I am responsible because if I acted on just a feeling that would be wrong and I haven’t done that. I am implementing a system to stop it occurring again. That’s being responsible. The only reason it was done sooner was that I tried to accommodate her payment preference.

I don’t need people to agree with me. I wanted to know if people would feel uncomfortable themselves if they were in this situation. If you wouldn’t that is fine but I am being slammed for overpaying somebody twice out of 104 occasions.

Exactly what penggwn said.

And until you can post some legal evidence or documentation (not just your opinion) that your cleaner has a legal obligation to check her wages and report your mistakes back to you within a certain time frame, then I stand firm that YABTU and frankly a bit of a child for trying to offload responsibility on to her.

Pengggwyn
Splitting hairs!
It means so much to you that I made 2 mistakes.
People make mistakes, they check, the rectify.
To have no checks in place and allow mistakes to go unnoticed.

I had 2 “off days”, I checked and I rectified!

Naturally you don’t have the same problem. That’s great.

My brain is a little fuddled and I am trying to balance many things, sadly there are a few bumps along the way. I would like to think I can rely on those around me to help point out anything they notice I have botched is all.
Like I said, yes it could be genuine but I do feel uncomfortable that this lady checks her account daily. Contacts me on 8-9 occasions the next morning she cannot see the money in her account as her bank has delayed showing it asking if she has been paid. I am happy to check and send the confirmation to her.

So, they general consensus here is:

Woman checks account daily, notices when money doesn’t show but misses 2 overpayments. I am being unreasonable to make 2 payment mistakes and unreasonable to feel a bit uncomfortable about it.

I will continue forward, set up a standing order to prevent further errors and let it be.
Hopefully time will help shake the niggle. 👍👌

LaurieMarlow

Time frame???
You’re having a conversation with yourself.
Don’t forget to check your wages 😜
You may end up with an unexpected bill if you believe that it is everyone else’s complete responsibility to assist you with your life and you need to do nothing.

But the AIBU was not whose responsibility it is to check the amount. As I read it, the AIBU was whether it was unreasonable to question the cleaner’s honesty in not mentioning the overpayment when she clearly keeps a close eye on her account. This thread has become somewhat derailed.

You walk out of a shop unwittingly with an unpaid item and it’s only theft if the shopkeeper or security guard catches you or reminds you until then it’s their sole responsibility and you only need to give it back if they raise the issue?
If nothing else, MORALS people!

That's not an accurate analogy boffin as I'm sure you know.

Here's an accurate one. You buy stuff from a shop and the shop keeper puts an extra item in your bag that you haven't paid for.

You walk out of the shop and there is no hard evidence that you are aware the extra item is in there.

Who is responsible for that item leaving the shop without payment?

The shop analogy doesn’t quite work though OP.
You walking out with an item is an active, if unwitting, action and your mistake.

However, if the cashier slipped an item into your shopping by mistake, would you notice when you get home and return it? The cashier made the mistake and therefore is at fault but do you keep quiet when you realise you have this extra item?