Can I trust my cleaner?

[Boffin90]

Over the last 2 years there have been a couple of times I have overpaid my cleaner (one overpayment was an extra £50) into her account. This has occurred on occasions I have needed to pay multiple people for various things and made a few mix ups. My cleaner has never mentioned to me when this has happened. I have always made the discovery. I know she checks her account as if it hasn’t gone into her account by the next morning she messages me. (I have never been late with her payment, it’s always been her bank causing some delay on showing her side).
I will be setting up a standing order but it makes me wonder if I can trust her. An overpayment error does not mean you’re entitled to the extra money!
AIBU or would you feel uneasy that someone is not willing to confess you have given them too much?

I’m a childminder and get paid by bank transfer. My parents pay weekly and I have 9 different sets of parents paying money into my account each Friday. On Saturday morning, I always check who has paid and will text parents who haven’t, but I have no clue how much is on everyone’s invoice so that gets checked at the end of each month when I do my accounts.
If she has lots of different families paying her, I think it’s perfectly plausible to not notice immediately if one overpays (which shouldn’t be happening btw).

For me, I would notice if I haven’t been paid at all as my bills come out on payday and that would alert me, however I wouldn’t notice if it was a little bit up as I’d assume it was tax m, pension change, percentage pay rise etc. And in that line of work could be assumed to be a bonus or something

Pengggwn

It is the responsibility of both parties to check. The world is not that black and white sadly.
I made the errors but I so discovered the errors. I also apologised for the errors.

Again, people are basing this on how they manage their accounts. I have explained that she checks hers almost daily.

I do feel that knowing how she manages her money (info she has volunteered and reasons why) that she would have noticed the overpayments as she notices when there is a delay...not due to me).
I do feel that knowing that info she has possibly been a bit dishonest and not forthcoming. I cannot prove this so I am not acting upon it. I am giving her the benefit of doubt and will continue as normal.

I check my balance but never the amounts iyswim.
So I know roughly what's in the account.
It's only when is it and do a full check on my laptop that I can see everything.
You've made the mistake twice and told her and she's sorted it. What more do you want?

It is not her job to monitor your payment of her. Yes, she should give it back if there's overpayment, but that's not the same as being her responsibility to police it.

You clearly have trouble taking responsibility for your things that lie within your own remit.

Sorry, you’re wrong!
It is the responsibility of BOTH parties to check!
In case of long term overpayments a payment arrangement is usually agreed.

I think this says a lot for the lack of moral fibre of some here and sense of entitlement.
The “not my fault, not my problem” attitude is crazy!
If it’s not yours you are not entitled to keep it!

I think some posters are being deliberately obtuse here. OP has said she knows for a fact that her cleaner checks her account on a daily basis. When payment has been delayed due to her bank not transferring funds immediately, she has flagged it up straightaway and OP has had to send her screenshots proving payment from her end.
And yet on the 2 occasions where she was overpaid, has laughed it off and claimed she hadn’t noticed.
Sounds like she wanted to let it lie and see whether OP would raise it TBH.

The op doesn't KNOW that though. She's assuming it because the cleaner has alerted her to being shorted quickly. But that could be because she's been informed of overdraft charges or had her card declined.

People are just focused on the fact I made 2 mistakes much more than the fact this woman checks her account daily and doesn’t report extra money.

I take onboard that she may not have noticed. I haven’t confronted her or considered sacking her based on this but I do believe knowing the information I know it is unlikely and makes me feel uneasy.

I asked AIBU to feel this way based upon the information I have given. If it wouldn’t make you uncomfortable that is fine but to twist the facts or base it on how you personally manage your own money is not accurate! You may only check your accounts monthly or weekly, but this lady checks daily.

When it has been brought to her attention there is no shock, just laughter and saying I suppose you want it back? To which I took in a lighthearted context.
I even asked her if she would like to spread it over a few weeks as not to cause any financial hardship.
Time will tell and without proof I cannot and should not act upon it.

Where there are humans, there will always be error, intended or not.
For all those bleating that I shouldn’t make a mistake, I can only assume you are Mary Poppins.

The op doesn't KNOW that though. She's assuming it because the cleaner has alerted her to being shorted quickly

It sounds as if she does know for sure as the delayed payment by her own bank (rather than the OP’s) is flagged up immediately. There wouldn’t be an issue with overdraft charges or declined cards as the money has been received by her bank, just not showing up in her balance. I’ve had that happen too from time to time but you’d never know unless you were checking your account and balance closely.

X post

Corbynsbumflannel
What don’t I know?
She tells me she checks daily (reasons that is not fair to mention)
She contacts me if the money isn’t in by the next morning. The money is always sent on my side as I screenshot the payment from my bank. It is some delay by her bank which she is aware happens to her but she always checks.

Pengggwyn

I haven’t confronted her, I have given her the benefit of doubt as she is still here!
My point is, knowing what I know, it does leave me feeling uncomfortable.
Whether you could prove it or not, if someone were extra quick to mention they didn’t have their money the next morning (not due to me) but were silent when overpaid (due to me), would you not feel a bit irked?? Would you really not???

Here you go again... focussing on the 2 mistakes I have made. One was a mix up with the gardeners payment and the other was the anniversary of my son’s death.

Bear in mind she didn’t want cash, she didn’t want a standing order. 2 mistakes in 2 bloody years! Have you not made 2 mistakes in the last 2 years??

To put this into some context.....
8 or 9 times she has contacted me the next day saying her money hasn’t gone in and have I paid it, to which my reply is always a screenshot of the payment made the day before.
She says that it happens quite a bit with her bank but she is just checking... fine, no problem. Very vigilant! So why doesn’t she notice a £50 overpayment then?!

Yes, maybe a mistake and overlooked hence I haven’t done anything but I’m surprised to learn so many of you wouldn’t bat an eyelid and it wouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable.
Instead this post has been made into a dissection of how I shouldn’t make an error.

I can assure you I don’t make many but sometimes my brain isn’t always focussed as I do have a lot on my mind frequently.

She is now getting a Standing order and isn’t happy about it.

Penggwyn,

Don’t twist it. I said based upon the facts it is likely she would know but as I can’t be sure I won’t act upon it.
I am allowed to feel uncomfortable about it though. I was simply asking if others would in the same situation. You would clearly have no issue, doubt etc. That is fine.

If you haven’t done it with the same person’s payment, good for you. You must be a better person than me. I just think it’s wrong to solely focus on my 2 payment mistakes. There is a whole picture.
I was trying to accommodate how she preferred to be paid.
It is easy to mix up 2 people’s payments and as for the second occasion..
Unless you have been through that, you don’t have a bloody clue! I make no apologies for that!

Now I am paying her by a route that protects us both, she is not happy about that.

Could it be as simple as she doesn’t check the actual amount of the payment - just that there is a payment from you into her bank op? In which case I could see that if she’s checking she can easily see there’s no payment showing for you or that there is a payment but not necessarily looking closely at the amount of the payment if that doesn’t usually vary (except in error iyswim)? Not sure if that makes sense ........

Whatever the rights and wrongs here OP you just come across as if you don't like or trust her tbh, it sounds like this is playing on your mind a lot, so maybe you would just feel better and more settled if you hired someone else.

iknowimcoming- that is exactly how I work with my business. I check as soon as payment is due that it has been paid, but the actual amount only gets checked monthly with my accounts.
A cleaner will more than likely have numerous families paying money into her account, and probably won't remember which family owes her what. I'd imagine she checks the amounts regularly, but not the following day! Just ensures an actual payment has been made.