Can I trust my cleaner?

[Boffin90]

Over the last 2 years there have been a couple of times I have overpaid my cleaner (one overpayment was an extra £50) into her account. This has occurred on occasions I have needed to pay multiple people for various things and made a few mix ups. My cleaner has never mentioned to me when this has happened. I have always made the discovery. I know she checks her account as if it hasn’t gone into her account by the next morning she messages me. (I have never been late with her payment, it’s always been her bank causing some delay on showing her side).
I will be setting up a standing order but it makes me wonder if I can trust her. An overpayment error does not mean you’re entitled to the extra money!
AIBU or would you feel uneasy that someone is not willing to confess you have given them too much?

[pangolina]

Well...I think it's weird she didn't notice and it would give me pause, OP.

[ItsThisOneThing]

When you overpaid did you process as one or two transactions? If 2 separate transactions it would be fairly easy to miss, as she may just have checked for her £50 then stopped looking.

I agree there is a good chance from what you’ve said that she has noticed. Some people in that situation wouldn’t see keeping quiet as stealing (I would, and would speak up) and could happily pretend like they weren’t aware.

You’ll never know the truth so only you can decide if you’re comfortable with her working for you if that’s a possibility.

[Cactusjelly00]

I can't believe you'd ask for it back tbh I'd just treat it as a bonus (if she's an okay cleaner otherwise).
YABU.
When I had telephone banking all I'd get was
"Your current account ending 1234 is currently overdrawn by/has x amount available to spend" so it's perfectly plausible she doesn't check her transactions, just thinks oh well there's no money in there/I'm overdrawn so calls you, and when you pay extra she either believes it to be a bonus/tip of some kind or has muddled up her amounts. Someone who "can't be sure" if they'll have money to pay a regular direct debit doesn't sound someone that is that great at financial management TBH.

[avamiah]

ILikeyourHairyHands,
Yes I agree with you.
And why is it always the bloody cleaner??
Why not the swimming Coach or the private maths tutor.?

[Fluffypinkpyjamas]

I’m just surprised your poor cleaner puts up with your nonsense OP.

[ILikeyourHairyHands]

Sorry, it's not easy to mix up payments unless you can't read.

If I need to pay someone I log into my banking and their NAME IS THERE.

So I pay that person.

Unless you have visual difficulties, you can read a name.

[ADishBestEatenCold]

"If you make a comment! Read the posts please! I have NEVER once been late with a payment."

I was giving examples of what she, when in that situation, may or may not have noticed.

[Freshme]

Boffin,

I only clicked on this thread because I assumed that someone is posting a wind-up for a laugh, because even though I'm only a very occasional mumsnetter I know that anyone who admits having a cleaner and then if any shade of negativity is detected towards the said cleaner, the poster gets ripped to shreds. Measured response in such situations is rare.

I'm gobsmacked that you stayed on the thread for so long, excusing yourself to people who you don't owe anything. Please just leave the thread for your own peace of mind.

And btw, I worked as a cleaner on and off for a few years, and it is a bit strange that she didn't notice, but as you said many times already, you gave her the benefit of the doubt, she paid the money back(or accepted as advance payment or whatever, as long as she didn't pocket it), case closed.
In the future don't start any threads on MN involving staff, and esp not in AIBU!

P.S. My DSis' DC died of cancer too, I have an inkling of what you've been through

[melj1213]

if you know someone checks their account daily and contacts you the next day over 8-9 occasions to check they have been paid because their bank has caused a delay, would it not make you a little curious that the 2 occasions they were overpaid they had no idea despite by her own admission checking her account daily?!

Nope.

I check my account daily in that I get text alerts from the bank to say "You have received a payment from X person/company for X amount". That doesn't mean I actually go into my online banking to itemize it.

If I am waiting for a regular payment to go in then I am looking out for it (as is your cleaner with her clients' payments) if I haven't received a text within the usual time frame I will go into my account and check the actual transaction list. If the transaction isn't listed then I will contact the person to say it hasn't arrived so that they can double check it on their end.

If I get extra payments then I may or may not notice that they aren't my "usual" payments, depends on how may other things are going in/out of my account on the same day and whether it is unusual enough to stand out as an irregular payment. £50 is not going to fall into that "standout payment" category ... £500 or £5000 maybe but not £50.

[Boffin90]

Pengggyn

Get yourself a cuppa or whatever beverage gives you relaxation, take a deep breath and calm down.

It’s a thread on MN. I think you are deliberately trying to be annoying.
I agree with nothing you have said. You obviously disagree with me. That is fine, but don’t get so fired up over it.
Just agree to disagree.
It’s very simple. 👌😀

[Boffin90]

Then stick to responding to the original post rather than trying to steer it different directions.

I am happy to debate a difference in opinion but I don’t care for somebody that is looking to be blatantly row bating.

[LaurieMarlow]

To some degree the thread has been derailed. However, coming back to the trust point in the original OP, it appears that the cleaner hasn't done anything else to suggest she's untrustworthy, has she?

And she's given back the money when the mistake has been noticed.

There isn't a problem unless the OP makes a mistake. The OP should concentrate on not making any further mistakes (which the standing order will rectify) and taking responsibility for said mistakes (which is the sticking point we've been arguing about).

So if the OP fundamentally doesn't like/trust/want the cleaner, that's a different issue.

However, if the only problem is the one outlined in the OP, that's rectified by the OP fulfilling her part of the bargain (paying her cleaner) correctly.

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

You don’t need her permissikn to set up a S/O. If she wants to be paid on the same day every week, then surely it’s the same to her if it’s S/O or not

[DaisyRaine90]

She probably thought it was a tip but still cheeky x

[Boffin90]

Pengggyn

I have explained the conversation. It is the first time I have posted the conversation as it went, not the 8th at all!
This is to clarify to those who have asked.

Scroll on to something else.
We don’t agree with each other.

[iamyourequal]

He11y
Why on earth are people attacking the OP over this???

Because she is doing well enough in life to afford a cleaner and a gardener. That never goes down well on these threads! I agree with your post completely he11y The cleaner has been dishonest in not mentioning the extra money and the OP has a legitimate concern over trusting her.

[Boffin90]

Dobopdidoo

It’s happening, whether she likes it or not. 🙂

[Boffin90]

Penggwyn

I disagree with you.
Let’s just agree to disagree.

[Dobopdidoo1]

Boffin, it doesn’t matter whether she does or doesn’t want you to make a standing order. As you know, it makes absolutely no difference to her at all. You don’t even need to tell her.

[Boffin90]

Pengggwn

I think you are being pedantic.
Scroll back, your issue was with me making 2 mistakes! Now you have another issue.

Perhaps re-read the original post and answer accordingly if you wish.