Can I trust my cleaner?

[Boffin90]

Over the last 2 years there have been a couple of times I have overpaid my cleaner (one overpayment was an extra £50) into her account. This has occurred on occasions I have needed to pay multiple people for various things and made a few mix ups. My cleaner has never mentioned to me when this has happened. I have always made the discovery. I know she checks her account as if it hasn’t gone into her account by the next morning she messages me. (I have never been late with her payment, it’s always been her bank causing some delay on showing her side).
I will be setting up a standing order but it makes me wonder if I can trust her. An overpayment error does not mean you’re entitled to the extra money!
AIBU or would you feel uneasy that someone is not willing to confess you have given them too much?

What she does in her own time isn’t my business.

Yet you feel comfortable commenting that she pays for an expensive hobby? I think you're tripping yourself up in an attempt to make her seem U.

I don't think either of you is wrong; if someone paid £50 into my account unexpectedly it's unlikely I'd spot it within a week. I pay for an expensive hobby, too (the DCs both have horses and my salary seems to be spent mostly on pony club membership and the associated tat) but still don't need to keep a close watch on things. It's unreasonable to accuse someone of dishonesty for what could easily be a mistake as simple as the mistake you made in banking.

Definitely only do it by standing order from now on so you can't mix it up.

Having said that, I'd ditch her, personally. It is dishonest not to query an overpayment.

And those on here airily saying they don't notice the amount of money when someone pays them are either shit with money or have too much of it, IMO! I make damn sure I keep track of all the amounts people pay me and owe me.

Maybe she notices she's not been paid/been underpaid as she goes to buy something and her card is rejected. You've said she doesn't have dd because she doesn't always know the money will be there so it sounds like it's possible she would be that low on funds.
Yabu to assume she's being dishonest.

I’m not clear. Does she repay the money?

You are the one who has created the issue by overpaying her. If you hadn't overpaid her, this issue would never have arisen.

Unless, of course, you suspect things are going missing from your house. And I take it you don't suspect this, otherwise you would say.

I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill.
You have paid her too much twice - this I find hard to get my head around for a start. I make loads of online payments, I have never made a mistake like this, even once.
So, either pay her on the day/s she comes, or set up a standing order.
Blaming her for not noticing YOUR mistakes is a bit rich. You then try to justify yourself by saying you give her extra money and pay her well. I think the amount you pay is par for the course. Other comments you have made about this person indicate to me that you are not happy with her, if that is the case, get a new cleaner.

I feel like I’m on another planet to some people. I don’t know why you’re getting such a hard time as both mistakes were overpayments, not underpayments, so it wasn’t as if you were putting her in financial difficulty. Yeah, it’s not great but if it wasn’t as if she wasn’t able to pay her bills because Boffin didn’t pay her!

I think you can trust her and give her the benefit of the doubt but I see why you feel the way you do.

Gosh you are getting a hard time OP! On the basis that she clearly does check her account closely (given that sh3 notices when your payment is late getting to her) I think it’s entirely reasonable to suppose that she does notice the overpayment but chooses not to say anything which, for me, would pose a trust issue. But if she’s a good reliable cleaner then I would let this go and just scrutinise payments before you finalise them. Did you get the money back from the two overpayments? I’m sorry about your son too. 💐

To be honest I wouldn't notice extra cash in my account but I would notice if I hadn't been paid as bills would bounce and the bank would text me.

OP is not getting a hard time for making a mistake, but for blaming someone else who is at the receiving end of that mistake, it makes no sense at all.

I wouldn't even notice immediately if there was a mistake in my wage. I glance at the statement to check if my company name comes up and if the balance of my statement sounds about right, but I don't sit down to work out things properly more than once or twice a month, it's more than enough.
If people are paid the exact same amount every month, it's easier to notice, when the amounts vary with commissions and the like, I wouldn't have a clue.

We (sadly) spend so much money right left and center in bills, schools and go knows that I don't know whats going on in my account on a daily basis. It's unfair to accuse someone of dishonesty when you haven't even given them a chance to check things properly.

Ask any private accountant, most people are crap with money and it's painful to do their account!

I do feel people are being a little unjust as there is a lot of people basing this upon how they manage their accounts and money.

I think you need to bear in mind I have had many conversations with this lady and I know she checks her account pretty much daily. It would not be fair for me to go into full reasons why as it’s her private business.

I will repeat again for the hard of reading...
I made 2 overpayments over 2 years! One was mixing up her payment with the gardener’s payment. The second was on the anniversary of my son’s death.
The first one I was balancing many payments that day and the second my head really wasn’t engaged.
Yes, I perhaps should have been more vigilant but please tell me... who here has never made a single monetary mistake?!

My point is... knowing this lady checks her account as often as she does, why has she not mentioned the overpayments? BUT she will message me if her payment isn’t showing in her account the next morning. (Just to re-iterate, those are not due to me paying her late. It’s delays on the part of her bank, confirmed by me showing her the date and time the payment was made. On time!)

At the beginning of her employment she stated she didn’t want cash and she would prefer a transfer on the day. I am now setting up a Standing order to prevent any further mistakes. She isn’t happy about that (her reasons, not 100% sure why as a regular bank transfer is the same as a standing order. Just automated) but it is the right thing to do.

I am not sacking the woman for this, I am giving her the benefit of the doubt but I do feel uncomfortable about it as knowing her system I would think she would have noticed but it’s not something I can prove.
If i am right then further things will become apparent. If I’m wrong we will all carry on and live happily ever after.
I take onboard some of your comments as getting a different perspective is what these threads are about but there are some I believe live in planet perfect and are a little sanctimonious!

It's more that when you slip up, it's a 'human mistake' and when she slips up (only by not notifying you of said mistake) it's 'dishonesty'.

You're being far kinder and more forgiving of yourself than her.

It's not her job to police the wages you give her. It's your job to get it right.

Concentrate on that and take some responsibility. Then there are no problems for anyone.

And lots of people here have said no, they don't make mistakes with other people's wages because they are too important.

Also, how on top she is of her financial affairs is no business if yours. Your business is to get her wages right.

Are you paying her £110 instead of £60, or are you paying the £60 on pay day and then making a payment in error of £50 on another random day??

The difference being if I’m expecting money in my account on Monday I’ll check the account to see that it’s gone in, but I might not check it again for another week if I’m not expecting a payment, so she might not have checked the account if it’s a payment on a random day.

Actually it’s the responsibility of both parties to check payments are correct!

Just so you are aware, if your employers every overpay you, you are not entitled to the extra money and they can recall it.

There was an incident where over a year somebody was overpaid every month.
They had to make a payment arrangement to pay it back.
The employer should have checked but 50% of the responsibility lies with employee to check.

You would all soon pipe up if you were underpaid though wouldn’t you. You would notice that in a flash!

I have never made a mistake like this, even once.

Well good for you.

It's more that when you slip up, it's a 'human mistake' and when she slips up (only by not notifying you of said mistake) it's 'dishonesty'. You're being far kinder and more forgiving of yourself than her.

Well, that's probably because the recipient is in receipt of money that she must know is not due to her! I work almost exclusively for large companies that can probably afford to make the odd overpayment without it breaking the bank, but if one of them overpaid me (never happens!) I'd still tell them. In this case, where it's an individual paying her relatively small amounts of money, there's even less excuse. It's basic decency.

I'm not sure I would notice if someone paid me twice (well I would if my boss paid me twice but a few grand extra would be noticeable) if it was only £50 and I was getting the same amount from other clients, I probably wouldn't! I'd scroll until I saw your name and amount and then forget about it.

I do lots of events for our group and if I need a deposit they then transfer to my account, I wouldn't notice if one person paid twice!

Our cleaner was paid 3 times one month, back glitch, didn't pay her the following 2 weeks, she said she didn't notice and I believe her, she is an excellent cleaner and if she hasn't actually stolen from you then why don't you trust her?!

YANBU OP and I think you have got a bit of a hard time here.

I would expect her to say something, there is no way if she regularly checks her account that she would not notice. I have also overpaid my cleaner once and I messaged her as I realised I had done it immediately but I would have expected her to tell me if she had noticed first.

We are all human, ignore the negligent comments, you have never underpaid her only overpaid her so it's not as if you are being a bad 'employer'.

Wait, so did she keep the overpayments or did you ask for them back?

Sorry OP, you haven't added any info that changes my view that YABU.

But despite everyone telling you that, you seem adamant that your error is natural and human and her failure to notice/comment is dishonesty. I am not sure why you asked as you seem to only want reassurance that you are right.