Can I trust my cleaner?

[Boffin90]

Over the last 2 years there have been a couple of times I have overpaid my cleaner (one overpayment was an extra £50) into her account. This has occurred on occasions I have needed to pay multiple people for various things and made a few mix ups. My cleaner has never mentioned to me when this has happened. I have always made the discovery. I know she checks her account as if it hasn’t gone into her account by the next morning she messages me. (I have never been late with her payment, it’s always been her bank causing some delay on showing her side).
I will be setting up a standing order but it makes me wonder if I can trust her. An overpayment error does not mean you’re entitled to the extra money!
AIBU or would you feel uneasy that someone is not willing to confess you have given them too much?

[Dobopdidoo1]

X post

[Boffin90]

Dopopdidoo

I am tired of repeating about the whole picture and how it has made me feel.
I haven’t asked if I should sack her etc.

If I checked my account daily and it was likely on 2 occasions I noticed an overpayment, I would personally approach the person and let them know. Most people’s money is earned by hard work.

I accept that she may have genuinely missed checking her account on both those days. I am proceeding as if it was a mistake but i still feel uncomfortable and hope time and implementing a standing order will enable my feeling to disappear.

I accept they don’t agree with how I feel and that they would feel differently.
I think it is just an agreed to disagree as it is going off course.

[Boffin90]

Dopodidoo

Yes, yours is a much better analogy.
My point is just simply about morals and how people see things differently.

It has been interesting for sure.

Whether I agree with everyone or not, I do thank you for your opinions.

[Ilovetolurk]

This has definitely been derailed OP

If we assume that it is not a mistake and she noticed and kept schtumm what inference can we derive from that?

I think when money turns up in this way there can be a "monopoly" style "bank error in your favour" view that you've just received a windfall. She may not have thought it through to the point of thinking you are out of pocket as a result, or if she did she may have thought well you can afford it

As I said upthread OP I think I would have spoken out as soon as I realised. Most people are only honest up to a point but it doesn't mean they would steal from you in your home

I found a tenner on the floor in the car park the other day and kept it, having looked around first to see if anyone might have dropped it. Perhaps I should have handed it in but I looked on it as a windfall. I would never dream of stealing directly from anyone.

[WhatWot]

I wouldn't trust her. She clearly checks her account, and thought you wouldn't notice that extra payment. If she had thought it was a bonus she would have thanked you. Nope. You're getting a grilling here but I would mention to her I'd pay her less to make up for the overpayment. If she objects then find a new cleaner.

[Boffin90]

We can only base things on our own ideals.

(General statement from above post)
If it was a mistake I would consider accepting money that wasn’t rightfully earned or gifted as stealing just as much as pocketing something from my home.
They are taking something from me that is not rightfully theirs.
Assuming I can afford it or not would not make it right.

Finding £10 is different (in my opinion) practically impossible to locate the owner.

[Ilovetolurk]

It's all degrees though isn't it I suppose that's my point

Your situation wouldn't sit well with me though either

[Dobopdidoo1]

Pengggwn
But what if you had noticed the cab driver had given you an extra tenner? Would you tell him or keep schtum until he noticed and alerted you?

[Dobopdidoo1]

Pengggwn

Exactly. You’d say something and go be it back because you’re decent and honest.

The AIBU is that the cleaner most likely did notice the extra money given that she keeps a close eye on her account and yet kept quiet about it until OP flagged it.

[Dobopdidoo1]

*give it back. Not go be it back. What a weird autocorrect!

[He11y]

Why on earth are people attacking the OP over this???

Of course she should tell you and it's irrelevant whether you've made one mistake, two mistakes or many mistakes! What she's done is dishonest and it definitely would make me question whether I could trust her. My old employer was always getting my wages wrong and I always told him whether he'd overpaid or underpaid, it's what honest people do!

[Boffin90]

Just to clarify, as many seem to have missed what her response was....

I noticed the error and mentioned to her what has happened and why, also apologising.
Here is the conversation. I remember them both as personally i noticed she didn’t appear like it was new news.

Boffin: I am so sorry X, I have confused the gardeners payment with yours. Underpaid them and overpaid you.

Cleaner: Laughter, I’m not doing your garden for you too.

Boffin: What would you like me to do, leave next weeks payment or take a small amount off the coming weeks?

Cleaner: Just leave it off next week. I do enough for you, I’m not doing your gardening too.

Boffin: Would you not prefer cash or S/O?

Cleaner: No, a transfer on the day is fine.

Second occasion...

Boffin: So, sorry X I have noticed I have overpaid you again. I’m really sorry. My head is all scrambled this week (Son’s death anniversary). All my regular payments are automated because I have a cauliflower brain at times.

Cleaner: Suppose you want it back?

Boffin: Yes, but it’s my error so I don’t want it to cause you any potential hardship. Would you like it off in small amounts like I offered last time?

Cleaner: Just leave it off next week. It’s fine.

Boffin: Are you sure?

Cleaner: yep.

Boffin: I really need to set up a S/O, it’s not fair on you for this to happen again.

Cleaner: I don’t want a S/O (explains reasons but she has confusing reasons)

Boffin: It really is no different. The only difference is that it is automated. That way I can’t bodge up.

Cleaner: Just transfer on the day is fine.

Left at that but I am setting up a standing order.

I have always given a note in a card (xmas, Easter) when given a bonus, thanking her and wishing a happy whatever occasion it is)

[Boffin90]

Pengggwn

I think you are being pedantic.
Scroll back, your issue was with me making 2 mistakes! Now you have another issue.

Perhaps re-read the original post and answer accordingly if you wish.

[Dobopdidoo1]

Boffin, it doesn’t matter whether she does or doesn’t want you to make a standing order. As you know, it makes absolutely no difference to her at all. You don’t even need to tell her.

[Boffin90]

Penggwyn

I disagree with you.
Let’s just agree to disagree.

[Boffin90]

Dobopdidoo

It’s happening, whether she likes it or not. 🙂

[iamyourequal]

He11y
Why on earth are people attacking the OP over this???

Because she is doing well enough in life to afford a cleaner and a gardener. That never goes down well on these threads! I agree with your post completely he11y The cleaner has been dishonest in not mentioning the extra money and the OP has a legitimate concern over trusting her.

[Boffin90]

Pengggyn

I have explained the conversation. It is the first time I have posted the conversation as it went, not the 8th at all!
This is to clarify to those who have asked.

Scroll on to something else.
We don’t agree with each other.

[DaisyRaine90]

She probably thought it was a tip but still cheeky x