To think it's inconsiderate to text someone at half 5 in the morning

[Jesstheblackandwhitecat]

Or am I being unreasonable? Not an emergency, a colleague asking me something.

kali I am obviously not being clear enough.

Correlation does not mean everyone, it just means that you can see some kind of general link. An easier example maybe. There is a link that young-in-year children do less well in primary school and are more likely to be identified as SEN. that does not mean all young-in-year. You could be an august born at top of the class. Nor does it mean that Sept born can't struggle. Just that en masse over the general population there is a link.
I wish statistics were better taught in schools.

(pops head in) ... has anyone mentioned wrong numbers/texts yet ???

Even if every single person you know is aware to only call/text at certain times, what happens about a (increasingly rare, I admit) wrong number, or (even less rare, but then remember spam texts ?) wrong text ?

That can happen at any time ??????

TeenTimesTwo yes i do know, however none of my friends ( in that range), nor my family members have any problems using a phone, nor do the people i work with.

Think its a rather large group of people to say cant work A phone.

So if all these people are perfectly capable of using their phone kali how come there seem to be so many people on this thread who seem to mind about people texting when convenient to the sender?

I'm trying to understand why so many people cannot either use a landline for emergencies or set their phone settings so they can receive phone calls but not texts.

I was only hypothesising there might be an age link.

Some people don't have landlines because they don't use them and want or need to save money.

Many people do not ring even in emergencies....particularly it seems to under 20's.

Some people would need to text if they have used up all their call credit - I know many who do this perhaps I have a poorer set of friends and family than most mumsneters.

It comes down to manners and consideration - their are these who think they are the only ones who count and don't give a flying fig for others so will only do what's convenient and stuff anyone who suffers, they have no good reason for texting when they do but want to and cant be bothered to use the functions of their phone that would remind them to be considerate and send it at a normal time.
Then you get the ones brought up to think of others and they struggle to understand the selfish I want to so I'm going to tough and its your fault I'm inconsiderate you should set your phone the way I want you to.
Well one day someone will call you from a new number or a hospital and because something else happens they wont call straight back how will you feel when you find someone has been trying on and off through the night and now your too late? But being self centred I guess it wont matter.

jannier

Just to get this straight. Everyone else shouldn't text at a time convenient to them because people need to keep text messages audible at night just in case someone in an emergency who doesn't want to speak to them or has run out of call credit needs to text them?

Calls can go through even if text notifications are off.

(Remembers back to Brownie days when we always had to have 10p (or was it 2p) in case we needed to make an emergency phone call...

"Calls can go through even if text notifications are off."

True on smart phones, but not on all non smart phones. I take the point that cheap smart phones are not that expensive - and I'd think it was worth the price not to get a text at 5.30am changing an arrangement for two weeks time (example only)! But some people have their own reasons for not wanting a smart phone and for wanting to allow calls all night. So why not delay sending the text - that is what I don't understand! It does seem unlikely that 5.30am is the only convenient time for a person to send a text.

LH is right about wrong numbers and spam texts though.

Oh I hate this. My DH is a doctor and when he’s oncall he can’t have his phone on silent. So bloody annoying when his phone beep-beeps at midnight & it’s one of his friends texting something non-urgent.

It’s just basic consideration for others, and you can’t just assume people have their phones off or on silent. Why wouldn’t you just wait to send the text?

sammy in that case I'd really be tempted to have a work and a non work phone.

Yes, why should your dh have to go that expense and inconvenience, but it does look from this thread as though the battle is lost! (Definitely a less equal spread of 'no you shouldn't do it' answers vs 'yes you can' than on previous similar threads I've seen. I think the new etiquette is becoming 'text whenever you feel like it, and phone owner beware!')

I don't have my phone in the bedroom so wouldn't bother me in the least!

YADNBU OP

Morning!!!! I'm up, dressed, had breakfast. Made the kids lunches, and just about to go get the bus. WTF can't I send a message??? After all, you lot didnt stop at 7pm GMT when i went to bed.

Sorry, I really can't face working out which continent you are all currently on (because you all jump on planes and recline your seats without notice) or what time it is with you all. I will work it out if you are close enough to me for me to ring (well, internet call) and make sure it is reasonable. But messages??? Not a chance.

Sammy why on earth does DH not have a work phone for on calls? I've never worked at a hospital where senior medical staff - so on call from home - didn't get given a phone (or long range bleep in the old days!)

TeenTimesTwo
Possibly because some people think its related to manners, nothing to do with being able to work a phone.
I couldn't care less what time a person texts me, i certainly wouldn't think they had no manners if they txt me early/ late.
What is early? One persons early, may not be the same to another.

How much did you pay for your iphone, which doesn't allow selected people to contact you overnight?!

My phone has a dnd function that allows calls through from certain numbers. It's half the price of an iPhone and imo bloody brilliant in comparison 😁.....boast over!

It’s just basic consideration for others, and you can’t just assume people have their phones off or on silent. Why wouldn’t you just wait to send the text?
But that doesn't solve it anyway, because, as has already been covered on this thread, texts sometimes show up hours later, so can turn up in the middle of the night, even when sent in the early evening.
In bad reception areas, they can be lost completely, so there's no good reason for anyone to use them as an emergency way to contact you either...so it comes back to the only sensible choice being to set up silent hours on your phone to suit your preference, and real emergencies will call.
Its like being told its your fault for disturbing someone, because you sent a letter, and it got delivered while they were napping and the clatter woke them - you can't blame the sender for when it arrives, or the fact that you didn't make arrangements so your sleep wasn't interrupted.

I sometimes wake up at that time. I usually wait a few hours unless it’s a good friend that I enjoy pissing off.

I was brought up that you don't call after nine pm or before 8am unless someone has died or is dying. Between 11pm and 7am not at all. I feel the same about texts. Emails or Pms are ok if someone thinks you'll be up.

If anyone calls 3 times consecutively when your ‘phone is on DND, the call will come through anyway. Designed to reach someone in an emergency.

What boggles my head with this thread is the sheer amount of people who after being told by multiple posts that they don’t like to receive texts in the middle of the night, are arguing that the onus is on that person to block them hearing them!

The level of total and utter entitlement and selfishness is properly wtf.

Can you not see that it is ridiculously self-absorbed and controlling to tell people they should never send texts at unsocial hours, even assuming we can agree what those are? The sender does not know who uses their phone properly and who doesn't, so if it's selfish to send a text because a recipient might not have set their phone up to correspond with their own preferences, that means they can't send texts even to people who won't be disturbed.

You essentially want to partially ban use of technology for everyone, just because it inconveniences people who have it but are unwilling to learn to use it properly.

I'm sceptical that there's much need for receiving emergency texts, but if someone does regularly receive emergency texts from strangers who won't follow up with a phone call, I'm sure a way can be found to auto-reply telling the sender you are asleep and they should phone. A quick google indicates there are apps that will do this.

It wasn’t that long ago that ‘do not disturb’ didn’t exist and I had a friend who would text at unsociable hours and it would wake me up. I thought it was incredibly inconsiderate. People just do as they please now, assuming everyone has DND technology, and don’t stop to think whether it might inconvenience someone else. YANBU.