To think it's inconsiderate to text someone at half 5 in the morning

[Jesstheblackandwhitecat]

Or am I being unreasonable? Not an emergency, a colleague asking me something.

I bet it would be terribly inconvenient, but because you are texting it wouldn't be a bother.

I don’t understand what this means.

The whole point of tests and emails is that you send them when you ant and the recipient picks them up when they want.

coddi ok, say a relative was admitted to hospital. The school/ hospital would call, not text, in the first instance because that would be the quickest potential way to get your attention, especially at an unsociable hour. They’d also likely be calling from a landline.

don’t have friends/family in different time zones

Yep, I have family including children, living and working in different timezones. We manage that by using whatsapp for non urgent stuff rather than SMS.

Whatsapp, skype, email can be set to silent because to date none of them have been used by any emergency call out services - they use SMS and phone which is why I need to leave those two switched on.

It’s completely unheard of in any professional environment I’ve worked in.

I don't really use texts for work at all in my industry. I tend only to use texts socially . odd occasion where I may send a "I've emailed you. Let me know if it doesn't turn up".

The point is that texting is a silent electronic communication like email and like an email, there shouldn't be any bar to sending one at any time. BECAUSE
If you don't want to be disturbed you can stop it.

Most normal non-dick people I know utitlise their DND function or have a land line for emergencies.

This is a classic situation of where there won't be agreement.
There are two camps:

Idiots who leave their phones on all night and complain if they are disturbed (I still don't get why there is a difference here between emails and texts. If you are capable of altering the alert for your email, it shouldn't be beyond their wit.

The rest of us who will take advantage of down time to communicate when we have a spare moment - which for busy people may very well be outside business hours or late at night.

Fortunately most of my social circle operate the way I do and are non-idiots.

It's probably best if the Phone-On And I'm Too Thick to Operate the DND Function People stick to being frends with each other and the I'm So Selfish I Will Text Outside the Hours of 9am- 6pm People (but my friends don't care because they do it to and have their phone off) stick to being friends with each other.

That way everyone is happy and both think the other camp is full of idiots.

Ok- I think people are probably using text and WhatsApp interchangeably on this thread though

*do it too

TheStoic the time you decide would be acceptable to call me this weekend would probably be very inconvenient for me.

Cantseethewoods you are right about the school, but it's probably the only number I would reply to if I am busy.

Any family member or friend would text me even if it's just to write URGENT CALL ME. Straight after the last terrorist attack in London (I worked next door), I sent a text to DH with something like "terrorist attack, not in it, all ok" and he replied the same. If I take a kid to hospital, I text him the details, I won't bother calling.
People might be driving, in the tube, in a meeting, it's quicker to just send a quick text first to at least pass the information.

@QOD - you can be contactable 24/7 by your dd. You can set your phone to Do Not Disturb, but with certain numbers that will always get through - I think they are VIP numbers - so you could set it so only her number would get through.

TheStoic the time you decide would be acceptable to call me this weekend would probably be very inconvenient for me.

We are talking about texting, aren’t we? When would be an inconvenient time for me to text you this weekend?

I run a sling library and often get people message me to hire things at 2/3am. They often get shirty when I don’t reply until normal working hours too. Some people are just rude!

When would be an inconvenient time for me to text you this weekend?

That's the point, I keep my phone on silent, so texts, emails and whatsapp etc are not inconvenient, I expect to receive them 24h a day when it suits the sender.

You are the one who call people "dick" for daring texting at hours that do not suit you. Hence my question: if you are not one of these "dicks", what time do you think is acceptable to text me, and how do you know it will be convenient for me?

What about people who work till 8 /9. They are massive dicks then for replying to txts when they finish work?

Although it is up to the message receiver to mute their phone, I wouldn't dream of texting till 8ish, just in case they haven't muted it.

I was staying in an Airbnb place once and on the last night the owner texted me at about 11.30 with a 'reminder' about checking out the next day, including a long list of all the things I must do and not do (that she'd already sent in various formats about five times since I'd made the booking).

Maybe that's not all that late for some people, but I was in bed asleep and not impressed.

It's not as simple as putting your phone on 'Do not Disturb'; I leave mine on because I have family with health issues inc ageing parents and you never know, do you?

I know people say put it on silent etc and I get that, however, would the sender phone a landline at that time? I doubt it as they'd (hopefully) accept that it would be an unreasonable time to disturb someone. They same should therefore apply to sending text messages in case the recipient hasn't put it on silent for whatever reason.

I still recall the horror and outrage my DM would express if anyone phoned our landline after 9pm though ('who on earth is phoning at this time of night' she'd say), so I am possibly being a bit out of touch.

YABU. The point of a text is that you can send it when it's convenient for you to do so (same with emails) and they can reply, or not, when it's convenient for them.

however, would the sender phone a landline at that time? I doubt it as they'd (hopefully) accept that it would be an unreasonable time to disturb someon
I wouldn't ring as that would require interaction from them which would be unreasonable, texts are completely different.

however, would the sender phone a landline at that time?

no, but that's the whole point! This is why people email or text instead of calling. If I didn't have the modern tools available, I would write a letter and send it by normal post - which is what people did before internet and texts. It's not the same, is it.

You do send messages to avoid disturbing the recipient.

If you have ever had a child's (young adults ) friend trying to contact you in the middle of the night because your child in uni is in hospital after being mugged for their phone and your mobile is the only number that friend has you will understand why muting a phone and allowing only friends to come through is not a sensible option. Not everyone has babies tucked up in the same house. Some people have elderly relatives and hospital may be calling or a kindly neighbour.
if its not urgent set yourself a reminder or time delay to send at a normal waking hour. That way you don't forget and you don't disturb people who unlike you need to have their phone on. Its common manners....
Ive now decided to ring back any late texters so I can speak in a groggy voice saying you just woke me what's wrong are you dying?

Yes, of course it is! Everyone always says "Oh you need to go into menu no 2256 and change setting no 55589" but really the answer is that it's never OK to text at weird o'clock. (If it's an emergency, you would ring).

I have a situation where my PIL do this. I have to have them whitelisted on my phone - they are elderly and frail and something could happen - but they will text at 5am to say they're off on holiday.

I have an old Nokia, not a smartphone. I take it upstairs with me at night as it is my alarm in the morning (I have another alarm but as I have to wake early I need back-up).

Also, while I have a landline I can't hear it from the bedroom and don't want a landline in the bedroom.

I have to take my phone up to the bedroom as live in a 3 storey house and if there's a fire need to be able to phone the fire brigade without having to go downstairs to the landline.

5.30am is too early. I haven't read the thread but get the feeling most are saying it's fine but there's still a fair number saying it's not fine and for various reasons that aren't hard for people to work out they should realise they might be disturbing someone by sending a text at 5.30am, as not everyone lives the life you do, so they shouldn't do it.

I do overtime in my job late in the evening. I don't email my 'boss' to tell him the hours I've done if it's after 9pm his time (different time zones) as it'll go through to his smart phone and I don't want to bother him (or his family), so I email in the morning when I know he's at work. It's just a small consideration.

And all these people saying the whole point of texts and emails is people send when they want and you reply when you want - says who?! I've never seen that written down in some rules and regulations on emailing/texting. Who decided this? The inconsiderate arse that thinks it ok to send a text at 5.30am obviously.

What boggles my head with this thread is the sheer amount of people who after being told by multiple posts that they don’t like to receive texts in the middle of the night, are arguing that the onus is on that person to block them hearing them!

The level of total and utter entitlement and selfishness is properly wtf.