To think it's inconsiderate to text someone at half 5 in the morning

[Jesstheblackandwhitecat]

Or am I being unreasonable? Not an emergency, a colleague asking me something.

Switch your texting to silent at night, or phone to do not disturb.

Most phones have settings if you want someone to be able to contact you at night (favourites, if they ring twice within a few minutes etc)

I'm clearly falling as a parent, as both my children are in uni. My phone is permanently on silent and doesn't vibrate (due to my work). I didn't realise that meant I should be on call 24/7! They are adults, I pretty sure that they can cope with most stuff that happens.

Yanbu to not want to be disturbed, but YABU to expect everyone else to work within your specified hours. The thing is, you have control over your phone, so take charge and make sure you aren't disturbed.

You can set your phone to notify you only of certain people sending you messages/calling you. My husband has his phone on silent, only my calls and messages give him an audible notification. You should do that - problem solved.

Something to consider - Texts can take anything up to 24 hours to arrive, the time is arrives on your phone isn't necessarily the time it was sent. It was common when mobiles were the size of bricks and as heavy but it still happens now.

I'm in the don't text at silly times camp.

Do people sleep with a mobile under their pillow these days. I won't have a mobile in the bedroom. Not listening to bleeps and other strange noises all night long. I don't blame the person sending the text. They probably thought you'd just check in the morning.

I would politely tell somebody to get lost if they texted me at 530 a.m. how inconsiderate.

The same as when people text or call after 10 p.m.

I am not convinced that they did text that early. Probably delayed as PP said.

I would think twice before telling them to 'get lost'.

Just read your post contrary13. Don't put up with that a minute longer. Your house your rules. If she doesn't like it she can move out. This is the absolute equivalent of playing drums at 3 am. I'd rather listen to drums than mobile noises.

It wasn't delayed, sparkling

I know "the OP must be wrong" is fine sport but really, back off.

It's rude. Unless it's someone you know won't mind, or you know they turn off their phone. Its not for someone else to decide whether you should have your phone turned off.
I'd reply that they'd woken you and not to text at that time again.

I've set my phone up to automatically switch to "Priority only" between 20:00 and 07:00. so only "favourites" (i.e. MrsLH) will make a noise. Everything else is kept silent (except alarms obviously).

I’m such a terrible mother that. Yeah, I like to be contactable 24/7. My bad 🤗

I suppose I should have really, it's just I've never needed to. I don't know anyone who would text so early unless it was something urgent.

I send messages when I'm awake and it's convenient for me to do so. That is often between 4 and 6am

So rude and inconsiderate in other words.

Have a stern word OP. It’s the age of instant gratification. People don’t give a shit about disturbing you anymore.

Apologies to all those I message at silly times. I'm not in the UK. Your 8am is currently lunch time here. I send when is convienent. And I fully accept you are likely to reply way past my bed time. Phones don't belong in bedrooms.

I think it’s crazy to want to be contactable on a mobile 24/7 or to take your phone by the side of your bed.

But I also think it’s just as crazy to send a text at 5.00am, esp if you know the person is sleeping with their phone next to them.

In effect, YAbothBU

I also routinely send texts when I think of something, but don't expect an instant reply. Bit like email.

If you don't want to buzzed when you receive them, turn your text notification off. Can't your DD phone you in an emergency?

My brain is small so if I didn't send a msg when I thought of sending it, then I might not remember in time to send the msg before it's needed. Also an insomniac so 5am is a normal time to be wishing I was asleep & wondering what can I get done at Stupid-O'clock and what am I going to forget about later.

Some good suggestions here how OP can only be contacted by people she wants to get in touch at 5am.

It’s the age of instant gratification. People don’t give a shit about disturbing you anymore.

This.

OP YANBU, but there is a school of thought that believes all the responsibility for controlling messages sent to you is with you and not with the sender. Its a bad excuse for lack of basic courtesy.

We both have elderly DPs living alone to worry about. The VIP number concept doesn't work in emergencies as emergency calls do not come from your loved ones - they come from whoever is contacting you.

Random Texts at antisocial hours are a bloody nuisance in this situation.

LurkingHusband I've set my phone up to automatically switch to "Priority only" between 20:00 and 07:00

So you don't call/text/WhatsApp anyone after 8pm? That's not exactly late!

now Dd is in uni I have to Be contactable 24/7

Really puzzled by this. In the first week when my own daughter was away, I was concerned about how she was settling in - but this didn't mean I was on standby the way you would be when a close relative has a terminal illness.

At university they are not alone. They are in accommodation with other people and there are also support staff for when things go wrong. There are also emergency services, the usual advice lines for health problems etc.

If you don't want to buzzed when you receive them, turn your text notification off. Can't your DD phone you in an emergency?

If you enable "downtime" you can also enable a feature so that if the same number calls 3 times in 15 minutes, they can "punch through" and the phone will ring.

Also an insomniac so 5am is a normal time to be wishing I was asleep & wondering what can I get done at Stupid-O'clock and what am I going to forget about later

Ah so you’re wishing you’re asleep so you decide to potentially wake someone else up? Makes sense have you thought about perhaps a pencil and notepad?

So you don't call/text/WhatsApp anyone after 8pm? That's not exactly late!

I don’t? I haven’t used WhatsApp in my life. Not everyone needs to be in constant contact.

FunderAnna - That was the correct way to handle it. There's no glory in being a helicopter parent. Those children will go through life falling apart at every problem when they can't ring mummy.